Funny How Life Is
Good Morning,
Well, I am back from traveling more .. in fact, a bunch. I'm exhausted. I've missed entering here and have lots to talk about.
I'll be back here much more often again.
My thoughts this morning are interesting. I ended my new relationship of 3 months. I thought it was going to be "it!" It wasn't. In fact, it was a challenge in an area I didn't expect. I thought I had mastered the art of being powerful and self-expressed. What I realized in the past few weeks was how much I still do what I used to do -- I gave up much of myself to be who he wanted me to be. Amazing. All this growth and progress I've made and I let it go to be with someone.
Well, not anymore. From this day forward, when I see myself shrinking back or trying to be someone for someone else ... I'm outta there. I remember when I divorced, I said to myself, "I'd rather be alone than continue to be in a relationship where I'm not appreciated or I can't be myself." Well, I don't want to be alone AND I'm not suggesting I want to dominate. I just want a mutually respectful relationship where we honor our differences and share our similarities and where we don't make each other wrong. Is that too much to ask for? I think not.
So, how many of you do what I did? I heard on GMA this morning that single women in this country are now 51% of the population. Unbelievable. Maybe we don't need relationship, but maybe we want relationship. I do. And, I'm fine on my own, and strong, and more.
Point: Love who you are, be who you are and don't let anyone else try to change you... unless you want to make some improvements and have support to do it. And, accept how funny life is in giving you incredible lessons to learn.
Have a glorious day. I'll be back soon.
Ann
Well, I am back from traveling more .. in fact, a bunch. I'm exhausted. I've missed entering here and have lots to talk about.
I'll be back here much more often again.
My thoughts this morning are interesting. I ended my new relationship of 3 months. I thought it was going to be "it!" It wasn't. In fact, it was a challenge in an area I didn't expect. I thought I had mastered the art of being powerful and self-expressed. What I realized in the past few weeks was how much I still do what I used to do -- I gave up much of myself to be who he wanted me to be. Amazing. All this growth and progress I've made and I let it go to be with someone.
Well, not anymore. From this day forward, when I see myself shrinking back or trying to be someone for someone else ... I'm outta there. I remember when I divorced, I said to myself, "I'd rather be alone than continue to be in a relationship where I'm not appreciated or I can't be myself." Well, I don't want to be alone AND I'm not suggesting I want to dominate. I just want a mutually respectful relationship where we honor our differences and share our similarities and where we don't make each other wrong. Is that too much to ask for? I think not.
So, how many of you do what I did? I heard on GMA this morning that single women in this country are now 51% of the population. Unbelievable. Maybe we don't need relationship, but maybe we want relationship. I do. And, I'm fine on my own, and strong, and more.
Point: Love who you are, be who you are and don't let anyone else try to change you... unless you want to make some improvements and have support to do it. And, accept how funny life is in giving you incredible lessons to learn.
Have a glorious day. I'll be back soon.
Ann
Labels: BAby boomers, Parent/child relationships, personal growth, single women
posted by Ann Fry, Head Boomer at
7:41 AM
2 Comments:
(grrrr - i had this lengthy eloquent comment written out and blogger killed it - take 2)
Matters of the heart are tricky. We can intellectualize the perfect scenario which is great as long as no other human beings get involved...and there's the rub.
We all deserve a mutually respectful and joy filled relationship in our lives. The mystery (and fun) is wondering not IF it will show up, but when...along the way we may have to kiss a few frogs..but so what? That can be fun too for awhile.
I remember a story the late Leo Buscaglia often told about one of his students who had a flash of insight during one of his classes. She realized that even though she was a juicy plum, she still expected everyone to love her, which isn't possible as there may be people who are allergic to plums. She could make herself over into a banana, but she would always be the second best banana. It would be better to have patience and wait for a plum lover to come along....
Ann,
I am in agreement with you, yet will take it a step further. A little background first: I'm 52 years old, have never been married though I have desired to be for the past 18 years. I had a son at in my late teens and went on to get my bachelor's degree in marketing to prove I wasn't a teenage mother who didn't achieve. In my twenties I mothered and had many menfriends since my son already had a father he loved dearly. In my thirties I moved from the Midwest to the East Coast looking for the relationship of my dreams. Didn't find it but found myself instead. I learned that I was not going to let men rule me and that I wouldn't mold myself to their desires. Interestingly enough, with this attitude I now have as many men interested in me today as I had in my twenties. I'm happy with men because I let them know I care about them. And yet, I have a LIFE and if they want to engage my time they have to catch up with me - I don't wait for the phone to ring. Yes, I want that SPECIAL ONE with all my heart, and I'm spiritual so am in partnership with God to one day meet this man. Blessings to you, Ann, and to all wonderful women whose journey is to be free to be themselves.
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