Sleep Deprivation and other things health-related

Well good morning ... or should I say "bad" morning.
Do you ever have those nights that you just can't fall asleep? Well, I do, about once every couple of weeks. I have no idea why; but I surmise it has something to do with all the things I keep trapped in my head.
Anyhow, last night was one of those nights.
I last remember seeing the clock at about 3:30 a.m. Then, I awoke at my usual (sort of) 7ish.
I gotta tell you -- 3 1/2 hours is NOT enough sleep time for this girl.

Hey, I'm trying to save my beauty -- want to look my best AND feel my best. That's not gonna happen if I don't go to bed earlier and sleep peacefully. Now I know that some of my friends rely on handy helpers (you know, sleeping pills) but I don't want to do that. I'm very reactive, in fact, over-reactive to them.
So, I'm looking for alternative suggestions for when this happens. Please share with me what you do to fall asleep on those difficult nights. I'd welcome your feedback.

The bigger issue for us ... baby boomers.... is that we have a lot going on. Most of us work full-time, then we have all the rest of our responsibilities, which of course differ from person to person. Examples: kids, parents, health concerns, financial concerns. Yes, we're just like everyone else in the world -- stress. Maybe we're not taking the kids to school anymore, maybe we're shipping them off to college; but perhaps we're taking our aging parents to medical appointments and researching assisted living situations. I spoke with a client this morning. He's a very successful attorney AND he and his wife are raising grandchildren and having many challenges with that. Our lives are always full AND sometimes we can't sleep. End of sermon.

Point: How do we create the balance needed to take care of ourselves so we can take care of others? Think about it. We'll often return to this theme.
Have a great day, and if you're like me and need some sleep -- go to bed early tonight.
Thanks,
Ann

Aging with Delight and Grace

Good morning,
I want you all to know that I'm determined that it's up to each one of us as to how we age. There have been many times in my life when I did things "kicking and screaming." I would deny and fight the reality. It wasn't fun, but I suppose it fit a purpose of some sort. Well, now that I/ we are aging, I thought I'd examine the "how to age" concept a bit.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about having knee surgery. I'll spare the details; but the previous year took a toll. It started with a fall and a hematoma on my shin, then, I hurt my knee, etc. For nearly a year, there was little exercise. I gained a good 10 pounds, on top of 10 pounds too much that I already carried. I got flabby. I felt very unattractive and insecure about my body. I would try to tell myself -- hey, you look pretty good for a 61 year old. That was true -- I certainly dress well, have a good sense of presence and know how to conceal the pounds. But, I knew. I ranted about getting older and how it's not fair and how the body isn't what it used to be, etc.

What I didn't do, however, was take responsibility at that point for all that had happened to me - my fall, my injury, my weight gain, my eating habits, etc. I just made excuses and whined. I dated some, but wasn't in a long-term relationship and not having a lot (or when I was having it, it wasn't "great") sex -- so I would say, "Look, I hardly drink, I don't do drugs, I'm not having sex -- don't take my fu....ng FOOD away from me." It was my joke --- but I didn't admit it was my joke on myself.

After my knee surgery, my doctor said, "you have to lose weight". I cried and felt it was a daunting task -- even though it's about 20 - 25 pounds (as opposed to people "really" overweight.)

This morning, I read an article about Jamie Lee Curtis ( the actress). She's turning 50 and will be in AARP magazine soon. Here's a quote: "I want to be older," she tells the magazine. "I actually think there's an incredible amount of self-knowledge that comes with getting older. I feel way better now than I did when I was 20. I'm stronger, I'm smarter in every way, I'm so much less crazy than I was then."

I love what she says. She goes on to take responsibility for how she looks. I'm doing the same.
I have a new boyfriend. He's a couple of years older than me. He's thin, fit, trim, athletic, a great/ healthy eater. What an inspiration. He's attracted to me as I am AND he's open about wanting me to be healthier so I can live longer and maybe share a longer life with him. How cool is that.

For the first time, in a long time, I'm motivated about looking good BECAUSE it will mean I'm healthier. I love to look good -- always have. Like I said, I dress well, am sexy and desireable (with my clothes on) ... but, I've fooled myself too long.
I'll keep you informed of how I'm doing.
To start, I'm walking longer each day as my knee heals, I'm making much better food choices. But, most importantly, I'm not making excuses ... just taking action.

Point: We, and only we, are responsible for how we age. We can approach it with disgust OR we can be delighted about the mystery and adventure of aging and face it with delight. I choose the later.
Happy aging with Grace!

Health Care concerns

Morning,
I just read a very disturbing article (see http://www.seguingazette.com/story.lasso?ewcd=d067cc6d0ccaab6e) about the healthcare concerns of aging boomers and seniors. The article also stated the following about the current administration's agenda to cut senior "entitlement" funds:
"It appears likely that the Bush administration will now put on a full-court-press to pass their proposed $560 Billion cut in Medicare benefits for current and about-to-become Medicare recipients during the next 10 years."

The article continues with data about the fact that "half of the Boomers will have arthritis; nearly 25-percent of them will have diabetes; over half will have more than one chronic condition; and … surprise … they’ll generally be overweight with a third being classified as obese." And then, the writer raises the question of who will care for us as we age? He further states that most of us have worked our entire lives with the expectation that there will be funds to rely on at the point in time that we turn 65.

Now, please know that I am NOT an alarmist. I tend to not over-react. Much can happen between now and a budget bill. And, with a change in administration, issues can be reversed. I do expect that because I'm close to 65, I'll still have access to medical cost help. Will the younger boomers or even the next generation? Now, that's another question.

I write this as a concerned boomer. I have worked since I'm 16 -- first as a teacher, then a social worker, a college professor. Then , for the past 20+ years for myself -- but still paying my taxes, etc. I've done good work and helped many along the way. I consider myself a valuable member of society. I've never made a fortune, but have always gotten by just fine.

I can tell you one thing though -- in the past 6 years since being divorced, and therefore needing individual health insurance ... I've had a hell of a time getting decent health insurance. I've paid obscene amounts of money for awful plans.
If you read my previous post, you'll see that I had knee surgery this week. Now, I must admit I have a good plan now.... but that's because I have a partner and am not a sole practitioner anymore. That helps. My knee surgery will swallow my $2000.00 deductible, but should cover everything beyond that. Not bad. If, however, I'd had my previous plan, it would have cost me a $5000.00 deductible. That would have hurt a lot. And, I'm one of the 50% of boomers who also has arthritis -- so who knows what the future holds. I'm working on losing weight (need to lose about 20 pounds), eating better to be healthy, will resume a work-out schedule when the knee heals. But, I'm not so naive to think I won't have a health issue or two as I continue to age. Will I have help paying for it? Who knows. Is that fair? Who knows?

All of the presidential candidates and the administration (all boomers, by the way) have no worries. They have the best health insurance available. John McCain is 71. I'm sure he supplements his government income with social security and I'm sure that medicare has helped pay for the melanoma and other conditions. Lucky guy. But, what about the rest of us?

POINT: Is there anything we can do, as a collective body of aging people, to alter the future of healthcare? Why aren't we marching in the streets to advocate for our needs? Can we be rallied? LET ME HEAR YOUR IDEAS!


I'm pretty angry. Are you?
Thanks,
Ann

A week in the life of this boomer AND the news

Wow,
What a week. The ups and downs both personally and in the news. Amazing how much can happen within a short time frame.
First, this boomer, meaning me. I traveled all last week. I spoke in Detroit, then twice in Houston, then in Abilene, TX and then spent a day in Austin, TX. I got stuck in several airports due to weather delays. To do a Keynote speech in Abilene on Friday morning, I had to fly to Midland. The people for whom I was speaking had to drive 3 hours to pick me up. I made it to the hotel at 2:30 in the morning, only to do an early morning keynote. But, I've never missed a speech. I ended up renting a car to drive from Abilene to Austin, rather than get stuck at yet another airport. Saturday night, I arrived back in NY at 2:00 a.m. and was finally safe and sound in my own bed at 3:30 a.m. But, I sure was glad to be home.
Point: Despite the setbacks, I was always willing to do whatever it takes to show up where I was committed to being. I was assertive, changed airlines, times, etc. to get where I needed to be. At times, I was unreasonable. It was all worth it.

Monday morning, I had knee surgery to repair a meniscal tear. It went well and I'm recovering nicely, but, it's still limiting my mobility for a few days. And, it's letting me listen to the news ... maybe more than I usually would. My sister came to NY to be my caretaker. I allowed myself to be taken care of.
Point: I was pretty exhausted going into the surgery, but I allowed myself the downtime and actually put my independence aside to let someone be there for me. I am getting better at asking for and accepting help. That's an important lesson for me.

Speaking of time for the news, however, I watched the whole debacle of Elliot Spitzer and the prostitution ring unfold. I was horrified. Let me explain.
Elliot Spitzer was an incredible prosecutor in NY. He put big people away for breaking laws. His popularity grew and he was elected Governor of the state in 2006. He was highly admired. Personally, I don't judge people for their individual behaviors and flaws. We all make mistakes and we all do things we're sorry for. In this case, however, he clearly broke several laws and he hypocritically engaged in activities he would generally have prosecuted others for. Given that, his only decision was to resign.
Now, putting on my old therapist's hat ... I see that he had some deep-seated needs to fulfill and he allowed his power to take him in directions not totally understandable to many of us. Is he a "sex addict?" Who knows. That's definitely not for me to judge. What I do observe, though, is that he engaged in activities without concern for the possible consequences and in the process lost his position and hurt his family and others. He caused a lot of shame. I feel deeply for him and for his family.

Now, why do I write about him? Well, first of all, he's newsworthy and he's a boomer. He's a young one (only 48). Is that relevant to anything? Who knows. Is there something we need to learn from his behavior? The boomers have been known for being somewhat self-serving. We were the generation of free sex and love and doing whatever made us feel good. Some of us have tempered that more to fit the constraints of society, our families and our lives. Evidently, he didn't. But, it doesn't make him a bad person. I hope he will learn about himself, get some help and then come back to us all with pearls of vision that will inspire us all.

Point: It's not so much our behavior, our poor judgements and our failings that count ... but rather, our ability to learn and redeem ourselves and pull ourselves back up. We don't live in the world in a vacuum. There are others to whom we are accountable. I hope I, and all of us, can remember that when we make some of the decisions we make along the way.

To Elliot: I wish him a way out and to his family I wish healing.
To all of us: I wish us an opportunity to learn from the experiences of others so that we might live full lives and be happy and contented with our directions.

Happy searching and growing for us all.
Ann

Divided we Fail

It's Sunday night and I'm in a beautiful little Bed and Breakfast in Detroit, Michigan. I'll be speaking at a conference in the morning; but for tonight, I'm relaxing and writing.

I just saw a bi-partisan video on www.dividedwefail.org
it speaks to the need for us to drop the pettiness of politics and urge our candidates to address the issues we're all concerned about -- Democrats, Republicans, young and old. There are some concerns sincerely needing attention: healthcare, the economy, the environment, the War, etc. Rather than making it party issues .. let's hold all candidates accountable for addressing the needs and make it issues for all.

Prior to viewing that site, I responded to yet another Boomer-related blog entry about how contentious the boomers are as a generation. We have lots of passion and lots of opinion to go along with that passion. We love to spout off and argue. Well, I don't know if we all do, but many of my peers and certainly "moi" ... loves to spout off.

I wonder sometimes if by being contentious I put people off rather than bringing them into alignment with me. Perhaps I need to listen more graciously and be more open to the thoughts of others. In the old days, when I was a psychotherapist, I was a superb listener. I wonder if I've lost that. I know I haven't lost my compassion, but have I lost my ability to really focus in on what others are saying.

Where is all this going? What's the point?
Point: For now, it appears that a key to everything is in how we "be" with another. If we "be" contentious, we'll get one outcome. But, if, however, we "be" compassionate and open and respectful with another, we'll get a different sort of outcome. If that's the truth, then we are certainly totally responsible for how things go in our life and the results we create across the board.
If we take that to politics, then perhaps the consideration is how we listen to those who have different ideas than we do rather than shutting down to them.

Point: I'm going to take on listening more openly and with less judgement. I'm inviting you to do the same. let's do it in all areas of our life. It's my intention to create more agreement than division.
Divided we Fail, Aligned we succeed.


Have a wonderful Monday. See you soon