Yes, Let's Keep Boomers Working

I read a very great article this morning called I Brake for Boomers in the Workplace. Go here to read it all: http://www.fistfuloftalent.com/2008/06/dont-be-bum-rus.html?cid=120556616#comment-120556616

The point of the article is to acknowledge that many boomers are a) not ready to retire yet and b) that companies still need their input. It alludes to the fact that companies also need the technology talents of the Gen Xers. That's true as well.
The key here is that age needs to not be a divider, but rather we need to highlight the strenths of both and learn from one another.

One of my driving passions is to work with companies to improve on the culture and thus the productivity and team spirit of their employees. I mostly work with managers. I see that there is a substantial need for management teams to address the ways that the generations can work together AND to really focus on how to engage the boomers -- to keep them working as long as possible.

While there is often reference in recent articles that boomers HAVE to keep working because of the economy being tenuous at the moment. Let me make a statement here about that. I REFUSE TO BUY IN TO THE ECONOMY BEING BAD. The more the media tries to scare us about the economy, the more they drive us into panic. I'm not going there. We are an incredibly resilient country. We've been in lean times before and we always come out strong. This is not a time for companies to tighten their belts and stop offering growth experiences to their employees.But, rather, it's a perfect time to get creative, look for new and effective techniques to "bring out the best" in their teams. An analogy is the employee who gets fired and instead of panicking about unemployment, he takes his savings and goes back to school to expand his talents. Companies should do the same.Focus on expansion and growth. Get more creative.

If you'd like to see more ideas about how to engage the boomers and keep them longer, go to http://www.itsboomertime.com/reports.php and download my special report. It's filled with ideas.

So, boomers -- keep on trucking and working and teaching and mentoring and being fulfilled. You are the knowledge base of your companies, the backbones. Don't leave before you're ready and by all means, don't let them push you out of the nest before you're ready. Instead, be a mentor, a teacher, a leader and help to ensure that the succession will have an easy transition.

Have a great Sunday.
Ann

I Will Never Understand Men

You know, it's a lovely Saturday morning and I'm stuck in thoughts about a man, and a date I had and why I don't hear from him. I feel like I'm 16. It's ridiculous... but I want to get it out of my system.

For more than 10 years, I stayed in a loveless marriage and I held my tongue, didn't speak up much and just settled for a mediocre life. When I left that life, I promised myself I wouldn't do that. So, I'm more outspoken.But, when it comes to relationship, I seem to lose my tongue, for fear that if I say the wrong thing, I'll end the possibility of being with that person.

Well, here it's "up" for me again. I've had a few dates with a man I like a lot. He's attractive, he's smart, he does meaningful work in the world, he knows himself, works on himself. He's great... not to mention he showed a lot of interest in me at first.
Our last date was nice. We inched a bit closer to knowing each other better... got a little more intimate. When he left, however, I felt he might not be back. I couldn't really put my finger on it, but just my gut saying something.

I sent him a thank you email in the morning for the dinner, the date and told him I look forward to doing it again. I didn't hear back at all.... until a week later. He sent a text saying he was confused and apologized for the silence. I wrote back that I respect that and asked to talk. Now, it's two days later.... no response.

A couple of years ago I read that dreaded book, "He's Just Not That Into You." I hated it. But, you know, when someone doesn't call or really keep in touch, I guess I have to assume they're just not into me. But here's the rub. I'm a big girl ... fairly secure with myself. If he's not that into me, he should just say it and we can both move on. But, if he is still interested and wants to have some breakthroughs in relationship with me, then he might tell me that. With nothing, little communication, I know nothing.

Now, yes, I'm reasonably secure, but like many women, when a man stops being around me, I immediately wonder and judge what I've done and how I look. Obviously he didn't stick around because of those 20 extra pounds ... I'm not attractive to him. Or, my big mouth got me in trouble again. I totally move into the fact that if he's not interested then it's "all about me." How stupid is that. It could, of course, just be his own "angst" and issues. Maybe I remind him of someone else that he didn't like, or maybe he really does like me but is afraid of getting hurt. The list could be endless.

Here's the point: When you are in a relationship with someone, even if it's new -- it would be great to start off with open, clear and honest communication. Let each other know where you stand. It's pretty simple.

Life is too short!
Two nights ago, I went to the symphony. It was awesome. As my girlfriend and I were leaving, I lost my footing and fell down half a flight of stairs. I was embarrassed and have huge bruises on my arms and legs to prove it. BUT.... we never know from one moment to the next what will happen to us. Yes, we ARE in charge of our lives, but I still think that the unexpected happens.

I want to live life for the NOW. I want to enjoy my experiences with people and not over analyze (as I'm sometimes accused of doing.) I just want to love, be loved, give and receive and most of all have fun.

I wish this man could let me know what he's thinking. I hope he does. I'm giving him space -- to connect further or to move on ... but it would be nice to know what he chooses.
Me... I'll continue working on living and enjoying for the moment and relinquishing expectations (not an easy task.)
Life is about discovering, learning about ourselves and LIVING with passion and ease.
Have a glorious weekend.
thanks for letting me vent.
Ann

The Hula Hoop Experience

Morning,
I just read that it's the 50th anniversary of the invention of the hula hoop. (See story here: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2008/06/post-2.html
All I can say is WOW! Sometimes I feel really old.... but that's not my focus here.

I remember playing with my hula hoop for hours. And, I remember being good at it back then. I tried it a few times in recent months -- don't remember where or with whom. But, it wasn't as easy. That's a mystery though. My hips are definitely more defined (that's a nice way of saying it) now, with more of a groove between them and my waist, so why didn't it work as well? I don't think my rhythm has changed.. so what's the deal? When was the last time you took on a hula hoop ... and how did you do?

The larger issue is -- how much do you allow yourself to play? What do you do to create the laughs and chuckles? There's two parts to the hula hoop kind of experience. There's the fun factor and there's the physical/exercise factor.

Many of us boomers have discovered exercise. Many of us either hate or love it, but we do it because we want to be healthier or skinnier or for acceptance or to impress someone -- who knows. But, are we also connected to FUN?

I'm lucky. My work is fun... literally. Companies hire me to bring fun into the workplace. That's the focus of my company Humor University. But, the reason I started doing that sort of work is because I have a very playful side of myself that isn't happy when I'm not having fun. So, fun is important. (How many more times or ways can I say that?)

Last night, my girlfriend Tina came over to my apartment. We cooked a great, healthy vege pasta together. Then, we went to a pub in the Times Square area for Zydeco dancing. The band was definitely cajun, the music lively and the room packed.... with mostly BABY BOOMERS. We danced the night away. What a blast. I love to go dancing. The Zydeco experience is maybe twice a month, but every Wednesday night there's a 12-person swing band at a club on the Upper Westside that plays just for a boomer and above group. It's awesome. And, let's not forget, dancing carries with it the physical and the FUN.

Today, for fun, I'm taking the subway downtown... way downtown and then starting to walk back uptown along the Hudson River. It will be hot, probably crowded, but that walk is beautiful and much more fun then the treadmill at the gym.

What are you doing for fun today. If you're having any trouble figuring out how to do it, watch some kids playing at the playground and remember how it was to be young and playful.
Have a wonderful Saturday.

It's Not the Economy Stupid

Morning,
I expect I'll be ranting here a bit, but then I'll have some solutions or at least ideas.
First, more than ever before, I realize how much the constant news feeds the "worry frenzy." I visited my sister last week and while staying with them, they had the news on ALL DAY LONG. It was CNN and MSNBC -- and they continually talked about all that is "wrong" with the world -- from the political stuff, to the enconomy, to the bad weather trends, to who knows what. There were no positive stories -- only anxiety-producing material.

Now, I also know that some people accuse me of wanting to stick my head in the sand and NOT face some of the reality. Hey -- it's better than doing drugs -- I'll put my head in the sand as long as I can breathe.

I realized that when I hear all this How Bad it is stuff -- I get anxious. And the only reason I hear it is because of the media frenzy that highlights it.
When I'm at home, I watch the morning news or check online just to see if there's anything important to know about and to get the weather report. After that, it's quiet while I work ... or maybe I play background music.

Are there some challenges about the economy how? Yes ... of course. Have we seen economic challenges before? Yes, ... of course. Have we overcomed, moved through, moved on past them before? Yes.... of course. Will we again? Yes.... of course.
It's NOT the ECONOMY --- it's the frenzy.

Instead of talking about how expensive gas is, why don't we report on solutions or things each one of us can do individaully? Like, carpool, take trains or buses. How about working an hour or 45 minutes extra each day so that one of the 10 days in a two week period could be done from home? Wouldn't even not driving one day make a difference? How about people consolidating their errands to conserve drive time? How about families working together about how to consolidate or take public transportation together (where possible). It's back down to what can each of us do?

In other aspects of the economy -- food prices for example. How about people start eating at home more? How about families coming together with potluck meals... more sharing and stretching to make food go further. These are great idea and great for building family connections as well.

The point: Each of us can take personal responsibility to do things a little differently in order to impact our own pocketbooks. Boomers are great at this -- we are the acitivists from the 60's and 70's -- let's remember how we loved to make a difference and tap back into that spirit.

And my last point --- what have you done for someone else lately? You know, when you spend all your time whining about how bad it is for you, you forget that it's much worse for others. How about a commitment to volunteering in some way -- as a work team or as a family team -- to help those less fortunate. The upside -- it helps them, of course, but it also helps you. There's no better cure for depression (except "legal, prescribed" drugs maybe) than getting outside of yourself and being of service to others.

Boomers -- align. Go out and do some good.
End of rant.

Struggle for Self

I awoke today with the concept of how much we "struggle just to be who we are" ... which I'm calling the Struggle for Self.
Even though many of us are beyond the child-rearing parts of our lives and perhaps have even lost our parents, we still find ourselves striving to caretake wherever we can.

I've been a caretaker my entire life. I mean, I'm a social worker -- the ultimate caretaker -- taking on the needs of everyone who needs me. I was a professor and cared for students, I had my therapy practice for over 30 years. Now, I coach and train others to create "more or better" in their lives.

And. let's not forget that yes, I'm still a Mother and have a "creative" son ... which is polite for a "struggling musician/singer" son ... who still needs much from his Mom. With my parents long gone, I've become the family "matriarch." So, when the family has issues, it's me who is called upon. Or, when it's time for a gathering or reunion, it's me who makes it happen. In other words... I'm the dependable, responsible, caretaking one. Now I say this without feeling at all like a victim. I choose it all and I hope to NOT be a martyr about it.

What I do want to make a point about, however, is that the one I don't take enough care of is ... MOI! Me! Please don't misunderstand. I don't engage in wild and irresponsible behaviors. I think think things through. I have fun and great experiences. But, I don't get enough sleep, I don't floss absolutely every day, I don't cleanse my face every night.

I am, currently, eating well, walking and working out -- a huge commitment to myself and I feel great about it. I hope to keep it up. The reason it's working so well is because I'm home much more. In fact, I'm barely traveling again til September.Wow.

So, I raise this issue because it all relates to my struggle with myself. I not only have the issue of not always taking great care of me, but I also struggle with the typical questions we all do, e.g. Why am I here? What's my purpose? Who am I supposed to be and what should I be doing? Am I making a difference? We could go on adinfinitim .... you get the drift.

Perhaps many of the boomers are struggling with these issues.
Perhaps instead of calling it a struggle, we should call it the proverbial "Opportunity!"

Point: Where do you need to focus on who you are and what you're about and what you need? Do you take the time to do that? It's important to figure out the WHO.

One of my all time favorite sayings, which seems timely here is:
"Take care of yourself so you can take care of others." And, I'll add -- BUT, don't take so much care of others that you forget to take care of you!
Happy Sunday,
Ann

Women Today

I had the privilege last night of attending a special one-time performance of a play about the beginnings of Women's Rights. It was put on as a Fund-raiser for a Feminist Organization.

The performance was wonderful. It gave a progression of events from the 1800's with Susan B. Anthony carrying the torch, through to the early 1970's. Very educational and informative.

There was one very interesting piece of knowledge that came across that's timely to the recent events here politically. In the 1800's, Male Negroes, as they were called, got the right to vote before women of any race. A woman was still "on the bottom" so to speak. The play did not discuss anything current, but in discussions following, we realized we saw that in motion -- Barack Obama won the primary over Hillary Clinton. A black male has the potential to be president before a woman.

This makes me wonder about the sexism that probably does still exist here, in our country. We know about third world countries, but what about here? We find ourselves wondering about racism and I wonder about ageism, BUT, is there still a lot of anti-women sentiment? I consider myself lucky. I don't remember ever feeling discrimination by virtue of being a woman. I've had wonderful jobs and opportunities -- I've been in corporate management, I've been hired over men for speaking and consulting jobs. I feel respected. But, I know that's certainly not true for many other women. We also know that having a good education helps, but is it naive to think that it's enough? I only raise questions here.

It's unbelievable to me that men would discriminate against women -- I mean we have the children. Men could not exist without us. Everyone knows this. What would happen if women stopped procreating? Would there be less or more respect? Just a wild card thought.

Anyhow, I reach no conclusions -- just raise the issue.
Being one who likes to fight a good fight or take on a good cause, this wasn't one I expected to show up. It did, last night. What I do know is how many women disempower themselves, don't stand up for themselves and don't know the capacity of opportunity they can have. Now that's a cause I am up for.

Women boomers -- unite -- there's a big, beautiful world out there and many of you have yet to discover your purpose for existence. I'm here to help.

Point: Remember, again ... don't die with your dreams inside. Begin to differentiate how you want to live the rest of your life.

Stay tuned for my teleclasses and workshops on transition, empowerment and adventure.
Stay cool in this grueling heat.
Ann

Election Lessons

Howdy on this warm Saturday afternoon in NY.

I realized today, as Hillary Clinton formally stepped aside to Barack Obama, that there are so many wonderful lessons we can take from this experience... as boomers and just as human beings.
1. When you really, really want something, you MUST, no matter what, go for it. Hillary has had the dream of running for President since she was a young adult. Obama, although much younger, has had the dream as well. John McCain, from decades past, has always had the desire and even though he was struck down before, he is going for it again.
2. Don't let anyone else try to dissuade you from going after what that is that you want. Don't let anyone burst your bubble. There have been and will always be those folks that tell you all the reasons why it's a bad idea and why you shouldn't go for it. Tell them to go stick their criticism where the sun don't shine -- give them no "buy in."
3. No matter what sex or age you are -- you're a viable person to lead! This is so monumental and yet so clear that I don't need to add to it.
4. When what you want doesn't work out, bow out gracefully! Regardless of whether or not you supported Hillary, she did something that is historic -- the first woman to run on a major platform. How dare people not allow her a few extra days to grieve, pull it together and then, when ready announce her intentions for what's next.
5. Stop criticizing all that is different about people and start acknowledging what we share in common and what we want for the common good. What if we became a nation of people that only acknowledged (even when we don't agree) rather than "tore down" others for how they differed. Could a campaign actually be run that way? What a concept.
6. Be proud to share your opinion and to debate with your friends and family -- everyone is entitled and has the constitutional right to do that. How awesome.
7. We saw the ages come together here and we were on the same page, working together side-by side. This primary attracted more voters than ever and that included many young ones. What if we could bring this inter-generational cooperation to the workplace and to our families. Wow!

Now I'm sure that in days to come, I'll think of many more lessons and applications to boomers, but for now, let me sum it up.
Both Hillary and Obama are boomers -- she had the upper end and he at the bottom end. But, they represent US. We, the 77+million of us are the main folks to vote -- we count. Let's never take that role lightly. Make your voice heard. There is history in the making and we're part of it. We will either have the Oldest man in office ever OR the first Afro-American man in office. It's cool! Boundaries are being broken.
Keep the momentum -- for just a few more months.

I know I'll continue to tire of the debates, the ads that cut each other down, the news being dominated by all this. But, if I can remember that we have the right to select in this process and that I can speak my mind and cast my vote ... I won't complain much.

Have a glorious weekend.
Ann

Getting in Shape

Good Monday morning,
Well, I've truly made the commitment -- it's time to get in shape. I'm tired of feeling droopy, saggy, chubby and all that goes along with it. Now, I've been tired of it for a long time, so why now?

Who knows what brings us around to the "right time" for anything. Maybe it's an ad we see, or something someone says, or one more glance in the mirror.It doesn't matter.

So, here's what I am committed to and I invite you to make your own plan.
1. I've found a chiropractor/kinesiologist -- we'll have regular visits, which also include meal planning, detoxing, etc.
2. I'll be eating healthy meals -- following the plan and cooking in more, rather than always eating out.
3. I'll be walking for a minimum of 45 minutes at least 5 days a week. (I might even try riding a bike again... who knows.)
4. I'll be dancing as often as possible ... at least 2 x per month (and maybe I'll take some lessons too)
5. Although I have a gym membership -- I rarely use it, but might get myself back in there.
6. I'm enrolling my friends to keep me focused on the goal --- to firm up, lose at least 20 pounds and look fabulous and feel good.

So, come on and join me. This Head Boomer needs to look "hot" for the jacket cover of my book .... coming out this Fall.

Have a great week.
Ann

Sex in the City

Wow, I just saw the new Sex in the City movie. It was terrific. It truly made me laugh and cry... all within 2 1/2 hours. It hit home in many ways, hitting on all the big issues we have as women. And, of course, because I live in NY, it seems more real.

I was never a regular viewer until the last year. And, I've caught many reruns over the years. I love the characters -- especially their vulnerability. We really get to know them.

So, back to the movie last night. First, I expected the viewers to be noisy and involved, but you could hear a pin drop (except for the times we cackled.) The story was so packed full and brought everything to completion.We would be fine if there was never another episode AND, there are definitely jumping off points if they want to do another.

The highlight for me, as a boomer -- Carrie is 40 and Samantha reaches her 50th birthday. She is so gorgeous and sexy and outrageous. Of course she's 10 years (actually 12 years) younger then me -- but a boomer. She's my idol. She is so sexual and in touch with her body and her desires. She's gutsy beyond belief -- saying whatever needs to be said. In fact, we get insight into what she's like when she suppresses -- and it's not good.

Point: Be who you are -- no matter what. Don't try to be anyone else.

Point: Even women who seemingly have it all together -- money, status, etc ... they still experience disappointments and have to learn to handle them.

Point: Getting older can still let you be vibrant, amazing, beautiful and sexy.

To celebrate the beauty of womanhood and sexuality, I recommend you grab your girlfriends and go see this movie. Then, go out to dinner or for a drink and talk about it. It's rich.

As for you men -- there were several of you in the audience -- they liked it too. AND, we see some very vulnerable men in the characters in the film.So there's something there for you to learn too.

Have a wonderful Sunday.
Ann