Thoughts on a Saturday Night

Wow, what a week. Political craziness, Wall Street crises, Bailouts.... what does it all mean, how will it impact all of us?

I've lived in this country my entire life (well, except between 1970-72 when I lived in Japan) and I've been on the planet a lot of years.I've voted in a lot of elections, I've been through tough economic times. I'm not sure why, but I feel more "angst" and discomfort with all this now and thought I would explore some of these feelings with you. Chances are you feel some of it too.

While I was married, I didn't depend on my husband for financial support. I was actually more of a breadwinner than he was. But, none-the-less, he did contribute and did provide health insurance. So, being on my own creates a bit more uncertainty and insecurity .. financially.

As a self-employed person, there is anxiety about whether the work will steadily come in. I'm way to "old" to seek a job ... haven't been in the job market for over 20 years AND what I do is valuable and necessary ... but will corporations and associations still pay for me to Speak and coach? Or, will the economy impact that?

As for politics, will the candidate I support get into office? And, if he doesn't will the one I don't support come around to the position I think we need to turn things around? And, before we even vote in 6 or so weeks, will I be so turned off by the negative campaigning that I'll even care?

I truly dislike the election process. I hate that they both campaign with the intent of destroying the reputation of the other and not on what they plan to do. They both seem to be talking heads to me now -- saying what they think we want to hear. Saying what they think based on what the other says. Don't they get how we dislike it all? Is there any way that we, as average citizens, can tell them how much we want them to stop that?

So, I guess I've succumbed (at least for now) to the negativity. Truthfully, I haven't been watching the news. I get depressed. I prefer to keep my head in the sand as much as possible. Now, I know that's not what I "should" be admiting. I'm a highly enlightened and transformed woman ... and here I am admitting that I'd rather avoid looking at the world around me right now. But, hey, it is what it is. I'm being honest and authentic with you.

I'm wondering how you feel about all these things? What's important to you and on your mind as we go into week two of some truly tough times?
Please comment and let everyone hear from you.

Keep the faith. I also know from being on the planet for 62 years that everything eventually works out. The market swings back up, the election happens and ends campaigning for another several years. I know that if the "other" candidate gets in, I'll survive. No, I'm not threatening to leave the country and live elsewhere ... so I'll learn to cope. I've done it before. I'm resilient and so are you...
Onward an upward. Keep your chin up and have a great week.
Ann

Sunday night in San Francisco

Hi all,
Hope you had a marvelous weekend. I'm in San Francisco and have just completed an incredible all-weekend seminar. I haven't been outside the hotel since Thursday night when I arrived. I've been engaged in an inspiring conversation about what it takes to be a Remarkable Human Being ... and one who takes on a project to make a difference in the world.
This is how I spent my weekend. I was in the meeting room with about 130 people from all over the world on the first weekend of a 9 month course. We'll be meeting again every other month through May of 2009.
I was and am blown away by the stature of the people who attended AND by their intentions to do amazing things in the world.

I'll be checking in with you all when I'm back home in NYC ....where I'll arrive late Monday night.

In the meantime, ask yourself -- if I were take on a project to do something positive in the world, what might it be? And why would it be important to me?

Back to you soon.
Ann

I'm Flying on September 11th ... It Feels Weird

Good morning everyone,
I hope you feel renewed and refreshed after the weekend AND the short week.
It's Monday morning and we're back in the trenches of our work... and hopefully our passion. I am.

As I got organized for my week, I realized that I'll be flying cross-country on Thursday, September 11th. I don't think I've flown on that date in the past 7 years. It made me wince... for a moment and then it generated some memories of that fateful day.

Although I live in NYC now, I was living in Austin,TX on that day. However, the impact was one of the strongest experiences of my lifetime. First, my sister has lived in NY for 30 years. Frankly, she's the first person I called. Fortunately, she was NOT there that day, but was in WI, visiting a friend. Then, being alone in my house in the far suburbs (actually out in the country) outside of Austin, I called my husband and then my son -- they were both in Austin. My husband was at work; my son (the musician) was sleeping. They were both okay... thank God. Now, you might wonder why I would be worried about their well-being. Well, as I watched the horror on Good Morning America, the local news jumped in to alert Austin that it was a "target" because it's the capital of TX and home to President Bush. They were evacuating government offices and then telling everyone else to stay off the roads and not drive home.

My husband had put his car in the shop the night before and had my car that day. I was scheduled to work at home. So, there I was, alone, far away from anyone I loved, wondering if the world would come to an end that day. I was pacing, frantic, on the phone to anyone that served as a lifeline ... glued to TV for each new piece of news.

NOTE: I think we ALL suffer from Post Traumatic Shock from seeing the videos of those planes hitting the towers, the towers going down, people jumping out, etc. They are etched. In fact, within weeks of moving to NY, I was sitting in my apartment when I heard a loud plane fly by. This was unusual, because planes don't fly low over NYC since that event. I panicked momentarily (that's how Post traumatic stress works .... you're easily triggered.) It was an airforce jet ... it was fleet week in NYC, but I didn't know.)

Anyhow, that week of September 11th is blur. As a clinical social work therapist, all I wanted to do was fly to NY and be of service and help with the families. There were no flights AND after that I had too many work commitments get in the way. I always felt guilty for not helping.

But, here's the purpose of this column today. It was September 11th that was the catalyst for my entire Re-Invention of my life. My lesson that day became my motto:
"Life is way too short ... to be unhappy." It was within weeks of that day that I finally told my husband that I wanted to separate. We'd been unhappy for many years and had just fallen into complacency. it was time for us to go separate ways and search for what might be more fulfilling.

That was the beginning of my life now ... which is dedicated to YOU ... to helping each of you figure out what you yearn for, how to get it and to reach fulfillment.
Please don't misunderstand -- I'm not telling anyone to get divorced. That's what I needed. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be living in NY. I wouldn't have this company. I wouldn't be writing a book that will inspire others to Re-Invent, etc.

What decisions do you have to make ... that will add joy, happiness, contentment and fulfillment to your life for the rest of your life? What are you waiting for?

We don't have tremendous losses of lives from things like 9/11 and the War ... only for you to be complacent. It's time to WAKE UP ... be of service to others, contribute to the world being a better place, tap into your talents and LIVE life to the fullest.

Point: Make this the year, the month, maybe even the day that you make some decisions to improve the quality of your life! I urge you. You and all your loved ones will be happier for it.

And, I'm here if you need me. Have a wonderful week.

I'm off to San Francisco on Sept. 11th to begin an amazing course called Power & Contribution. It's a one-year course, where I will be gathering with 130 people from all over the world. We will meet every other month for a long weekend in S.F. Each of us will take on an "impossible promise" for the world -- in other words, each will take on a huge project to truly make a difference. Not sure what my promise will be yet, although I know it will have something to do with people being passionate and fulfilled and aging with dignity. (I'm sure I'll be writing about it all as it goes on this year.)

Til next time,
Ann

Joyful Weekend and Random Thoughts

Happy SAturday,
I'm sitting at my computer ... catching up on lots of small pieces of business and then hopefully, will edit another couple of chapters in my book.
I'm choosing to work all day today. Here in NYC we're expecting some aftermath of the hurricane moving up the coast. It is dark and dreary and will probably storm all afternoon and evening. It's a great day to hang out at home.

I had a fabulous experience this week. I got to be an Over 50 model on the Today show on Wednesday morning. I just responded to an email, and voila ... I was selected as one of five. It was a blast.
The limo picked me up at home at 6:15 a.m.and took me to NBC. We didn't go on til after 10:30 ... but there were outfits to be tried on and picked and then make up and hair. What a wonderful makeover. I felt trendy, youthful and excited. We were treated very well, lavished with food and snacks and then a limo to take me back home.
If you want to see me ... I'm the second on this video: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/26526790#26526790

Anyhow, the best part was I wore this beautiful purple trench coat from Banana Republic. I think I'm going to beg them to donate it to me .... in exchange for posting my picture and that it's their coat. Wish me luck,

So, after feeling like a celebrity for 5 minutes on Wednesday, I returned to life as usual....

I lost most of that day, so am working today. It's fine. Tomorrow looks to be a beautiful day and I'm heading out of town for the day with a girlfriend.

My Summer is winding down. I'm beginning my traveling next week... off to San Francisco for 4 days, then home for a week, then to New Hampshire,Albany and Austin, TX... whew!

I'll check in here periodically as the mood hits and I have something to say.

Meanwhile, the campaigning continues, is escalating and getting nasty. I think I'll stop watching. I'll vote, I'll engage in conversation about it all, but I'll keep my thoughts to myself in public... I hate the arguments. And, I'm as opinionated as the next guy.
In summary ... we have two older guys on the tickets -- one for president and one for vice president. We have two young boomers on the ticket -- one for president and one for VP. And, we have a woman. It'll be really interesting. My only hope is that they continue to work on making this a better place to live for US .. the people and not just for their own agendas. We'll see.

Have a fabulous weekend. I'd love to hear from you about things you're interested in or want me to write about.

Ann

The Day after Labor Day

It's another beautiful morning in NYC ... bright sunshine, moderate temperature. WE've had an incredible Summer. Hard to believe that within about a month it will begin to get colder and Fall will be in the air.
For now, however, I'll enjoy what's here.

There was a great deal that happened over the weekend. There was Gustav .. a raging hurricane that had the audacity to ravage the Gulf Coast, especially The Big Easy area yet again. Fortunately, lessons from the previous mistakes made it much safer this time. Now, they will be back to repairing yet again. My heart goes out to the community and the friends I have there.

In politics, we got new-found information on Sarah Palin and her young daughter. In previous times, people would have been more outraged about a 17 year old getting pregnant. In fact, she would be sent away and it would be a big secret. Now, we're so much more open and understanding ... although it puts her Mother in jeopardy.
We also saw Obama indicate that judging Sarah's daughter is off-limits -- a sign of respect. So, let's move on and see how politics play out.

It was a "holiday" weekend with an extra day off (for a few) ... funny how retail makes it a big SALE day and many people work on this non-work day.

I had a wonderful weekend. If you remember, on SAturday, I worked all day, but then I played the rest of the weekend. I went to two movies in one day with a friend and then yesterday took a friend out for lunch for her birthday and went shopping for new clothes -- took advantage of those great retailers who worked when I didn't.

It was also a struggle day for me. My webmaster is changing my server and I couldn't access email ... basically still can't. I get so frustrated. I sometimes wonder if my "age" ... growing up without computers limits me in my capacity to understand and deal with them. Anyhow, maybe even by the time I finish writing this .. it will all be working again and I can get back to "normal" ... not that I'm ever normal.

So in the midst of so much happening, I got upset about a tiny conversation with a man. Thought I'd share it .. it's so a part of the dating scene and the struggle to feel good about myself as a woman.

I had two dates with a man who was a lot older -- well, he's 72 -- so that's 10 years older. He was nice and polite and even made me laugh a bit. Both dates were short -- one for dessert (maybe 1 1/2 hours) and one to visit the museum and then have a drink (maybe 2 hours). Yesterday he called to see if I feel any "chemistry." I explained that I need a bit of time to figure that out. Yes, sometimes I feel chemistry immediately and get that tingling feeling. But other times, it develops, as I get to know someone. I told him I didn't know yet, but wondered why he was asking. He said he wanted to know if I'm suppressing it or resisting it. I said, all you've done is "hug" me -- there's been no contact to know. He said he doesn't feel it and let's just move on. I couldn't believe it. This "old" man is not attracted to me. Excuuuussse me?
I took it so personal .. well, not to his face.... I wondered, as I always do, if there's something wrong with me, am I really that unattractive, is it still the extra 10 pounds (remember I've lost a few). What's the deal and why should I care.

I mean, people have lost their homes, their city, people are 17 and pregnant, the country is going to hell in a handbasket and I'm worried about a 72 year old man, that I could care less about, saying he doesn't feel any chemistry AND I take it personally. I definitely have to "get a grip."

I share this because I know other singles feel this way. Attracting a person for romance and relationship is such a big deal for many of us and we just don't get it.
Intellectually I know that people have chemistry with each other or they don't. I know about pheromones. Truthfully, I'm not attracted to too many men - in fact, most that I meet -- it doesn't mean they aren't nice men .. they're just not my type. So, then why do I take it personally?

What does it take to have such high self-esteem that things like that won't bother me? Should I just STOP dating all together and enrich my life so much that it doesn't matter? Will a man I like ever find me attractive in a lasting way?

Truth: I look pretty damn good. I guess I have to keep saying that over and over until I convince myself.

Oh, but let me not forget -- I do have a 40 year old lover. He finds me very attractive. I love it. BUT, I constantly expect that he will meet a cute young thing and toss me aside... especially when I don't see him for weeks. This is one of those times. He's been gone for a month and won't be back til next week and we have little contact. So, I wonder. He's probably just using me ... but then again, I'm using him as well. It's okay.

As for other men -- I have no clue. If the lover goes away, I might just purposely become celibate. I'll keep you tuned in.
Meanwhile, I'll get back to the matter of finishing my book, which I course I think will be a bestseller and of building my business and of enjoying the magic of NY, with or without a male companion.

You have a great week!
Thanks for letting me rant!
Ann