It's the Night Before Halloween

Hi there,
Well, it's Halloween Eve .. tomorrow night the gremlins will all be out. But, we don't need Halloween to be scared ... many of us are scared on a daily basis these days. It will actually be a relief to just watch the kids and their costumes.

I doubt I'll go down to the Village in NY and watch the parade. I just don't fancy being in big crowds like that. But, I'll watch it on TV and then that way, I'll be in my apartment for the kids that Trick or Treat here. Guess I better buy some candy and be prepared.

I don't know about you, but I used to love Halloween as a kid and when we were kids, there was no danger. WE could go anyplace and never be afraid. Even when my son (now 30) was young, we didn't worry much. There was the occasional reference to a razor in an apple, but I've heard since that it was an urban legend. So, he had a blast. The best part for me was to raid his goodie bag after he went to sleep. I'd pull out all the great chocolate that I loved and left all the rest for him. He never discovered that his mother was a thief.

It seems that the weather in NYC will cooperate. although it's been in the 40s, it seems it will get to about 60 for the goblin night. Yahoo.

All of this makes me yearn for some easier times. I feel nostalgic. Remember leaving our doors unlocked and our cars unlocked and we never worried? We didn't need to worry about the economy; our parents just seemed to handle it. And, we certainly didn't worry about gas for our cars. I remember it was 32.9 cents a gallon.

In a time like we're experiencing now, I yearn for times past. I wish my Mother were still on this earth -- I could use a little comforting. For those of us that are single at this time of our life ... who do we get the hugs and comfort from when we're worried or concerned or even a little blue? I suppose I could "rent myself out" or "buy someone else" ... but that's not my style.

The other thing on my mind is that Halloween really ushers in the Holiday season. While I'll be spending Thanksgiving with my sister in her 2nd home in Maine, my Christmas and New Year will be here in NYC... without family. Hopefully I'll find some other single friends to hang out with. But, my, my .. I am getting ahead of myself. Time to reel myself back in, be in the present moment and leave the future to it's time.

Have a wonderful Halloween. Let yourself get into it .. maybe dress up. Just have fun.
See you soon.
Ann

The ReInvention conversation

It's funny, but no matter where I go, and who I talk to, people are enthralled by the ReInvention conversation. When I present myself as a REInvention expert, it raises a lot of curiosity. I mean really, who says, "I'm a reinvention expert?" People say, I sell insurance, I'm a financial planner, I have an organizing business, etc.
I love the reaction.

Then, when I start talking about how I work with companies that want to reinvent their culture and with individuals who want to reinvent their lives, their eyes dilate wide open.
The concept has been around for a long time... so why do people think it's a novel idea?
I don't know the answer to that question, but I'll take a stab at it.

The boomers, especially. Well, we have just done what we do ... forever. A few of us have taken a chance on some entrepreneurial effort, but most have worked in corporate America or in some other capacity. We haven't focused on doing what WE want .. but rather on what was/is expected or to take care of our families. When I say... hey, you can do whatever you want to do ... I get these perplexed looks. They wonder, "really?"

What do I need to say to convince people to take some chances and begin to go after their dreams? Can you help me out?
What would grab you to want to make a shift?
Truthfully, deciding is part of the process ... but then, there's the follow-through. So, you decide you want something to be different .. you want to reinvent a portion of your life. But, then how do you do it?
Well, it's best to have a great support team or maybe a coach to walk through the process with you.

Keep posted. there's a 6-part series of teleclasses coming your way, If you don't already get the It's BoomerTime newsletter, go to www.itsboomertime.com and sign on. I'll be announcing the dates soon.

Enjoy thinking about what you want different and begin talking about it out loud as a possibility. that's part of the first two steps.

Enjoy!

Kindness -- It's so nice in these hard times

Good morning,
I had such a great experience this morning and wanted to share it with you.
Lately, people's spirits have been a little downtrodden. People are anxious... well, downright worried about the economy and if we're going to hell in a hand basket.

I've wondered if that anxiety might begin to impact people negatively in terms of how they might be around others. I live in NYC. We're around people all day long. There are hundreds on the subway together and on the streets. Usually, despite what outsiders sometimes think, people here are pretty friendly and helpful. So, I've been concerned about whether it would stay that way ... given the times.

Well, this morning I had an early appointment with a coaching client. I normally don't have to leave my apartment early and ride the subway (since I work at home) .. but today, I had to be at his office at 9:00 a.m. When I got to the subway station and ran my metro card through the slot -- it didn't work. I realized my monthly card had expired and I needed a new one. I started to step away from the entry and the man behind me (a baby boomer aged person, by the way) said ... "I"ll give you a swipe." I thanked him.

Now, why is that a big deal? First, one single ride is $2.00. He had to be giving away one of his slots. Second, it was such a gesture of kindness. The train was pulling in and he genuinely wanted me to make it. Third, there was no expectation of anything in return -- we would most likely never see each other again. Fourth, in a time when people could be "contracting" inward ... he reached out with generosity. I was impressed.

So, now, my responsibility is to "pass it forward."

As I returned to my neighborhood from my appointment (yes, having purchased a new metro card)... I didn't just walk past the contribution jar on the table on the street which collects for the homeless. I stopped and put something in the jar.

Point: No matter how difficult it seems, if we reach out with generosity, it will spread like wild fire. And, it's important to always be grateful for what we do have and to be of assistance to those who have less.

Here's another case in point. I currently have several very close people I care about who are not doing well. They are experiencing grave financial issues and are threatened to lose their domiciles. It's scary for me to be around them. I go into that fear of "there but for the grace of God go I." Now, I'm not religious and I don't know why that pops into my head, but it does. I'm often fearful about the "what ifs..." You know, what if I don't get new clients or new speaking gigs or what if I run out of money? What if I need to find a job ... after not working for anyone else for over 20 years ... what if I'm not hireable or I'm too old ...... and on and on.

However, when I get to a space like that ... I take a deep breath, allow myself to feel the fear (for a short time) but not dwell in it. Then, I get into action and do something. I either focus on creating a result -- e.g. pick up the phone and call a prospect or write an article or something OR I take time for a distraction, e.g. take a walk, run an errand, have lunch with a friend.

One last point -- when I reach out to others and am generous in spirit ... it goes a long way. I feel better, they feel better. That man swiping his card for me this morning ... well, it made my day. I'm so appreciative.

Go forth and be generous ... think beyond yourself and your immediate needs ... see how it spreads and generates spirit.

Have a lovely day.

Living in the Land of Not Knowing

HI there,
Well, it's been about a week since my last entry. I've not been watching too much TV, but I did watch the debate last week.
I can't wait for the presidential election to happen, be decided and be over.
I also am anxious for all the bad news about the economy to be over. I JUST Want to have some peace from worry.

I don't know about you, but I spend my entire life these days in the place of "NOT KNOWING!" In other words, I'm always on the edge. For example ... I don't know when my telephone will ring with the offer of some new work. OR, I don't know when I might meet my next new man or friend. Or, I don't even know what the weather will be tomorrow.

Truthfully, if we're honest, none of us really knows what's next. Now some of us probably have fairly predictable lives. For example, if you have a job, you can probably predict when you'll get up in the morning, when you need to leave for work, the best way to get there. You know you'll work certain hours and then return home at a usual time, go to bed at a usual time and then repeat. Your days are structured. And, you probably know when to expect your paycheck and probably how much it will be (unless you work on commission.)

Well, my life is nothing like that. I go to bed at night and check my calendar to see what appointments I have the next day. That determines what time I get up. For example, tomorrow, Tuesday, I have a coaching call at 10:00 a.m. So, I'll sleep til I wake up and will be ready for that. I don't have to set an alarm. Beyond that, I have writing to do tomorrow, someone coming at 3:00 and then a 6:00 dinner meeting. Beyond that, my time is unstructured. Then, at night I go to bed whenever I want. Like, here I am tonight, at 12:23 a.m. writing this.

I know I have to travel in mid-November. I know I have a few coaching clients that call in during the week. I don't know when I'll have another speaking engagement scheduled or when someone new will hire me. I don't know when I'll make more money. I live with all the uncertainty that comes from being an entrepreneur ... everyday.

Now, I must admit, there's much about that ... that I love. I love being unstructured. I love the freedom of going out during the day and working late when I want to. I love the "serendipity" of an unexpected call with a new opportunity. I love traveling to new places. I'm really happy with all that I do.
I DO not like an unsteady paycheck, periods of time that I make little to no money and the insecurity of it all.

Point: We all choose our lifestyles. If we're lucky, it's great and we love it AND even with the best life possible, there are worries.

For me, I'd rather be doing what I'm doing, but sometimes I pine for security and vacation leave and sick leave and a 401K.

Perhaps it's unrealistic to think one can "have it all."

Let's hope that in the land of knowing ... that soon we'll have a new president and that soon the stock market will close really high and stay there, and that soon we'll see a positive upswing in the stock market.

For now, let's do our very best to cope with the uncertainty.
In fact... if you didn't already know ... I've made a couple of videos for YouTube. You can go to YouTube.com and search for: annfrynyc --- take a peek.

Happy serendipity.
Ann

Random Thoughts ... the economy, the election and more

Hi there,
Well, I can't believe it's been about two weeks, actually a little longer, since I last wrote. I have no excuses .. altho I could make some. I was traveling, speaking, entertaining a house guest from Tokyo, having some anxiety about the economy, watching the political debates. But, other than that, no excuses.

Because of all my involvement with personal transformational seminars, I am no longer able to make excuses. I always take responsibility for things that happen in my life. Sometimes I hate that ... I want to blame others; but alas, it's all up to me.

Let's talk about the economy. For the last two weeks, I've been avoiding the television and newspapers; only wanted to hear the basics and no detail. But, alas, I'm not able to avoid it any longer. So, I've sent an email request to talk to my financial planner tomorrow and see where I stand. I'm afraid ... but I guess I need to be a big girl, grit my teeth and just know the truth. I'm also worried about my work. I don't have a lot in the hopper in the moment ... need to book more speeches, get a marketing plan in place, get on the phone. But, I seem paralyzed.

I spend a lot of time living in the place I call "the land of not knowing." I've written of this before. In my steps to reinvent myself ... I talk about having a plan to be with "uncertainty." Well, for all of us .. that's where we're at. We don't know when the market will bounce back. We don't know who will win the presidential election and if that person will be able to make an impact. Heck, we don't even know if it will rain tomorrow. There's a lot that is out of our control and our emotions are volatile. My classic question .. how do we handle it all?

I ask you ... what's your plan for dealing with it all?
Mine ... easy. First I do whatever I can to create some laughter ... to engage my sense of humor. But, when I'm on overload or feeling like I can't get a handle on it .. I go to a movie. Sometimes it's a comedy so I can laugh. Tonight, it was a tear-jerker, so I could cry. Either way, it taps into emotions and gives me a release. I come home more energized and focused to work.

What's your coping strategy?

As you face difficult decisions of the time ... what to do with your money OR lack thereof, who to vote for, what to make for dinner -- engage your coping strategies. Take time to laugh, love, experience, do something different yet meaningful.

Remember, we're the boomers. We are adventurous, daring, risk-taking, compassionate, focused and purposeful. Let's help the other generations tap into those aspects of themselves.

I'll be back at you soon.
Ann