Summing Up the Year ... on the Last Day of the Year

Good Morning,
Well, here we are, the last day of 2008. What a year, what a ride.
I don't consider myself to be someone who keeps track of all the trends ... I'll leave that to the media pundits, reporters, sociologists, etc. I do know a few things though, and want to address them from the baby boomer perspective .. and of course, throw in some of my opinions and personal experiences.
Here we go:

This is both a glorious time and a maddening time for boomers. For years, we've celebrated the magnificence of our generation. However, in the last year, we've drastically "slipped" from grace as we are now being blamed for all the greed and failures of our society. The articles abound.
Comment: Screw them if they can't take a joke. How dare the reporters throw out all the good we've done by trying to blame us for the atrocities we face now. We are still the best generation... we know how to do things at the grassroot level, to impact our society, to make a difference. Clinton and Bush, both at the top of boomer gen were president. One brought our country to surplus and the other brought us to debt. We obviously can't put all boomers in the same pocket. I do know, however, that if we were to reconnect to our 60's roots, we could mobilize the sort of efforts needed to make things better.

The economy has brought the thoughts of retirement to a halt for many OR driven people to joblessness before they were ready.
Comment: My sources tell me mostly, that they are not ready to retire. They feel like they still have years of value to give. However, that being said, being forced to stay in work because of 401 losses is a nightare for some. Remember, all who do retire do not just enter the ozone .. they actually take on projects, self-employment, volunteering in ways that are helpful. Much of this will be put on the back burner. And, for those who wanted to stay and work for years, well they may be the first to be shoved out.... and they will flail around a bit trying to figure it all out. It's a tough time.

We made history politically this year. We had two women on the ticket ... one an older boomer and the other not quite a boomer. And, we had the oldest candidate and a very young candidate who also happens to be an Afro-American. We have a President-elect who seems to be creating hopefulness. He's a very young boomer... barely one... but let's give him a chance.
Comment: It's fascinating to watch history be made .. to see things we never thought we would see. And, in many ways, to me, it's interesting to pass the baton over to the next generation. I also love that so many millenials voted in the last election -- that's huge.
Personal Comment: My son, age 30, is the lead singer of a band. His band was among many others that urged the youth of the nation to vote ... great to see them all becoming dedicated to how our country can be.

As for the turning of the year to 2009, I'll probably write tomorrow, but briefly, I want you to know that I'm filled with hope. The country has been in a rut, many of us have been in a rut personally. Well, it's time. When you want things to be different (my byline) ... then now is your chance to make them different. It's up to each of us to do that. Otherwise, you can't complain. If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always gotten. Period.

So, when I go to sleep tonight, after watching the ball drop (and even though I'm in NY, there's no way I'll be downtown in that mess) I'll be a year older. Remember, I'm the Head Boomer -- your leader of sorts, born first day of our generation. I'll be 63 in the morning at 8:16 a.m..... not the first, but still pretty early.

Happy ringing in the New Year.
And, if anyone wants it, I have an assessment for the year. You can sit down in a little quiet moment and reflect over the past and the future. If you want it, email me at ann@annfry.com and put New Year Assessment in the subject.

Have a blast tonight.
ann

The Mid-Holidays Blues

Hi Everyone,
Hope you had the Christmas/Hanukkah, and any other holiday celebration that you desired. There certainly are many choices and experiences you could have had, so I hope you enjoyed the ones you made.

I spent much of the last week in solitude .. working on the final chapters, edits and rewrites of my book (which will hopefully be out by end January.) And, in between going crazy at the computer, I went to movies. I've seen many of the blockbusters and enjoyed them.
In fact, let me recommend: Doubt, Frost/Nixon, Milk, Slumdog Millionaire, Benjamin Button. Fine, compelling movies. There are many academy award nominees here and the choices will be tough to make. Some of the finest movie-making releases in quite some time... at least in my estimation.

So, we've completed one holiday and there's another to come. The heralded New Year celebration is upon us. I wanted to crawl under the blanket and avoid it... for two reasons: 1) I have no man in my life to kiss at midnight of new year's eve and 2) My birthday is New Year's Day and I'm turning 63 and it feels really old.

I have many girlfriends, but they have parties, families and plans lined up ... except for one and we finally made a plan to do something that night. WE're going to see a special NYE edition of the Best of Gilbert and Sullivan. Should be fun... it'll be over at 11:00, so lots of time to get home, turn on the TV for the ball dropping OR brave into a local bar, hoping it's not just filled with happy couples, and toasting in the NY as friends and with whomever might be watching TV at the time.

Then, finally, we'll be on to the new year and hopefully my spirits will perk up.
2008 has been challenging to me personally, but also to all of us collectively. If we have any money socked away, we've seen it collapse, dwindle, disappear -- might as well call a blanket a blanket ... it's true. Many of us have lost jobs or if we're freelancers, seen our opportunities go down. There's lots of fear swirling and who knows when it will end.

Does 2009 call for a prettier future? Who knows. I do know that our new President carries much hope for a new future. Those that didn't support him have their doubts about that ... but overall, after the past 8 years, the dreadful shape we're in .. the idea of new blood and youth and vitality seem to be carrying that glimmer of a better future. Time, of course, will tell. Would anyone want to be Obama right now? Not I, for all the tea in China.

So, baby boomers ... let's cheer on 2009 as our best year yet. Let's celebrate, dance, sing, and explode with fun and happiness.

From me to you ...onward and upward!!

Anticipating Holidays ... with mixed emotions

Good evening (almost morning),
I remember many things from my childhood, about the holiday season. I remember celebrating Hanukkah and getting presents for 8 nights. I also remember my Mother giving us a little hint of Christmas to celebrate so that we wouldn't feel neglected or left out. For example, she set up a little Christmas scene on an end table in the living room. She got a miniature little tree (I mean, as in dollhouse miniatures), a sled and reindeer and a Santa. She set it out on a sheet of cotton. Then, she put out cookies and milk and told us Santa would stop in and leave us one gift for the morning. And it was true. Santa did leave us a gift AND the cookies were eaten.

I also remember a lot about the New Year celebration, some good and some not so good. My younger brother (by 5 years) was born on Dec. 30th and I was born on Jan. 1st. So, as children, my Mother would throw one party for us... we had to share it... on Dec. 31st. It wasn't until I became a teenager that I rebelled against this. I finally realized that I didn't want to have a party with my baby brother and his friends, co-mingled with my friends. I also realized as a "teen" that New Year's Eve was a more special event... and started having my boyfriends and thus dates.

In my marriage, Christmas became a really big deal. My husband wasn't Jewish. The very first Christmas of my married life was just like I'd always seen in the movies. The tree at my in-laws home was huge and the presents filled the whole living room. It was breath-taking. I wondered what I'd lost out on all those years. And, my in-laws were well-off financially, so the gifts were expensive. We also started having a tree in our house, especially when our son was born. And, of course, New Year's eve and my birthday were always a big-deal with my ex-husband. Even if we didn't go out, we'd celerate together at home and we'd always go out on my birthday.

Now, in my years being single (the past 7), each holiday has had some challenge to it. While I still lived in TX, my son would come to my apartment in the morning and then later to his Dad's. But, I certainly didn't have him around for much of the day. Since moving to NY, each year has had some challenge. This year, however, seems to be the one that is really difficult for me.

This year, I have no "man" in my life, many of my friends are unavailable or traveling. My son is staying in TX and I'm not flying there -- mainly due to the economy. And, speaking of the economy, I seem to have less work, so I'm not spending much. Therefore, I'm not going to Broadway plays or doing much at all.

Suffice it to say... after 62 years on this planet, I wish I could be more adaptable. I wish I wasn't concerned with what is seemingly "just another day." I wish I could be okay with just staying home or taking myself out to dinner for these special events. But, I find holidays to be the most challenging times as a divorced woman.
That being said, however, I would never want to be back in the marriage I was in.

So, this year is my opportunity to learn to be on my own, not feel sorry for myself and figure out a way to make it good and fun and meaningful. I'll search around for soup kitchens or some place to volunteer. I'll buy myself a couple of good books. I'll put out a call to friends who might be around. And, I'll learn to be a "big girl" and handle it. I'll watch sappy movies that make me cry and maybe some funny ones too. I'll take myself to some of those great end of year movies. I'll cook something new and exquisite for myself. I'll even go to the yarn store and buy some yarn and make myself a new scarf for the cold.

When you're on a path to "reInvent" yourself... there are the tough times right alongside the great stuff. It's all part of the mix.
Wish me luck AND if any of you are in the same boat, let me know. Maybe we'll plan a telephone discussion group OR if you're in NY, maybe we'll plan a gathering.
Thanks for listening.
Ann

Remembering the 70s

I just came back from seeing the movie Frost/Nixon. It was compelling. Funny, many of us lived through those time and yet, 30+ years later, there's much that I forgot.

The audience was so quiet and so wrapped up in the movie ... it was that compelling. Frank Langella played Nixon in a surreal way and the English actor who place David Frost did an excellent job. Apparently I liked it.

We feel like we are in such a confused state right now ... having the end of 8 years of a terrifically disappointing president and a new one coming in that has much to prove. We see egregious acts of greed stoking our failing economy ... the rich getting richer, the disenfranchised getting poorer. We see CEOs of failing companies still flying around in their private planes and taking huge payments as part of their bailouts. We wonder if we're going to hell in a handbasket ..... but, you know what ... it's not new.

Watching the movie play out, seeing the illegal and manipulative things that Nixon and his administration did, reiterated the fact that people in power often don't have it any more together than the rest of us OR that they abuse their powers. He said, "being President means it's NOT illegal" .. referring to many of his acts and behaviors.

While he shows some unhappiness over his actions, he never really did apologize for them. He showed the same lack of accountability that we see today. Think... when have you seen a person in power take responsibility and say, "it was my fault" ? It's always another country's fault, or another person, or the Congress.

While feeling pretty damn worried about our future as a country and about my own and that of those close to me ... I must admit that in some ways the movie about the 70's and the Nixon actions and subsequent behaviors somehow reassured me. I know it's a stretch. Let me explain. If we could overcome all of that crap... then we will somehow overcome where we are today. Things will get better. Thay always do. And, many say that the greed that pulled us down will evolve into a different and better system. That's something to look forward to.

So, baby boomers ... let's learn from the past, use that knowledge to improve the present and take our skills out to the world of the future and make a difference. Let's tap into our sense of action and power and advocacy and make things better.
I suggest you start by going to a movie and let it push your buttons.

Thanks for letting me express myself.

It's So Interesting to be a Woman... and at this age!

Good afternoon,
Yesterday was a medical day. That is, I had two medical appointments. I always try to take care of all that stuff at the end of the year (after my deductible is met) and before out-of-pocket costs start again. So, first I went to the rhuematologist to find out why my knees hurt so much. I figured it is just old age and arthritis. So, we took xrays and found a little of that stuff, but not a lot. Verdict: need to lose weight (only 15 pounds), exercise more and work on getting the joints to me more limber. (of course, I remember joints of another kind, but we won't go there.)

Then, I went for my annual mammogram. Now, men, I know you've always heard your women complain about the mammogram and it's totally true, whatever they say. So, I got into my little hospital gown and sat in the waiting room, where it was freezing. It was about 40 degrees outside, but they had the AC on inside where it also felt like 40 degrees. I had goosebumps on my arms, not to mention elsewhere. So, it's time to go into the room and take the positions. Yes, boobs on the cold xray shelves, with the attendent moving my boobs around to be positioned correctly, then getting squished down so I won't move and then told to stop breathing. What joy. So, we did both sides and I got sent back to the waiting room to wait while they made sure the film came out okay.

The doctor came out and said that because my breasts are so "dense" (and I don't think he meant as in stupid) we were going to do an ultrasound to make sure there was nothing lurking underneath. So, into another room we went. Here, the nurse slathered gel all over my boobs (and it was freezing cold gel). Then, she went all over the territory with the ultrasound wand or whatever they call it. When done, she left me covered with gooky gel and didn't give me anything to clean up with but said, "don't worry, it's made with water, doesn't stain and has a built in moisturizer." How wonderful is that. It was still sticky and cold and wet.

Why do I write all this? I'm not sure. I think there's the dignity piece ... and I'm sure men feel it as well when they go to the proctologist or urologist. For me, I'd much rather someone I like be messing with my body parts AND I also know it's really important to have this all done. So, it's a mixed bag.

Point: Regardless of how unpleasant in might be ... it's important to do all the necessary things to keep yourself healthy.

Within the last month, I've had a check up, a gynecological exam, an abdominal ultrasound, a bone density test. Good news: I've got the bones of a 35 year old and no osteoporosis, no breast tumors, clean PAP smear and little arthritis. Bad news: my knees still hurt. But, I guess that's a small price. I can control that with more walking, bicycling at the gym and losing weight. One problem ... do I have to give up eating everything that's good?

Anyhow, wanted to rant a bit, and laugh about it all. If anyone is reading this .. maybe give you a chuckle.

Make sure you do what you need to do to be healthy .. you know, those self-exams, those medical tests. Treat yourself to wellness. it's worth it. It keeps you young and vital so that you can then go out in the world and accomplish all that you're up to.

Two last point: 1. Do yourself a favor. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you want to stay healthy (at least mentally) turn off the TV news!!! End of sermon. Watch too much of that and you'll be jumping off the rooftops. 2. Remember to laugh as much as you can ... even when it's hard to find something to laugh at. It's so curative.

Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Ann