Sunday in New York

Happy Sunday,
I was gone from NY for 2 weeks, and have now been back for 4 days. I love being back. NY is amazing.

I moved here 3 years ago to appreciate what this city has to offer and the Summer is the time to be here .. for many reasons. 1. There are lots of free things to do outside -- concerts, fairs, carnivals, parks. 2. Many people who live here go away weekends to their summer homes, leaving the city less crowded (except for the tourists.) 3. I have the privilege of living between the two greatest parks that I walk in -- 3 blocks from Central Park and 2 blocks from Riverside Park (my favorite) which goes along the Hudson River, with Jersey across the water ... and connecting all the way down to Battery Park at the tip of Manhattan. 4. All the wonderful cafes where we can sit outside and drink wine or eat a great meal ... and watch people. 5. $6.00 movies every Friday, Sat. or Sun morning before noon -- what a bargain.

While I was at my conference in San Francisco, I hardly left the hotel. While I was in Austin, I did enjoy outside cafes, but it was already boiling hot and to walk someplace interesting, I had to get in my car and drive a distance.

Why do I share this? Well, life is what you make it. I suggest you live where you want to live. As a boomer, perhaps you've created some of the freedom to be able to live the life you want OR perhaps you're ready to start planning it for the near future.
There is no reason to stay where you're now living UNLESS it is where you choose to live.

Much of life is lived as a default. We're born someplace, to a certain set of parents and a lifestyle. Many stay put. They live where they've always been, they work in the arena of what that place offers or in the "family" business. Many do not stretch beyond the familiar.

Many of you know that one of my favorite sayings is: "don't die with your dreams still inside you." So, if you're longing for something different, make sure you begin to create it as a possibility in the upcoming years. Life is meant to be lived full-out. Sometimes, we don't move forward because we think we need to stay for the sake of the kids or the grandkids .. well, you know what, that's just not so. Ask yourself this: Do I want my kids to settle for a mediocre life (like I did) or do I want them to live a rich, full, exciting life filled with fulfillment?

When I decided to leave Austin, TX to move to NYC, my son said, "you go for it, Mom." He encouraged me. He knew that airplanes, and computers and cell phones can keep us connected -- and they do. We have an even richer relationship because we are both where we want to be. And, I'm proud to be able to set the example for him ... I don't ever want him to just "settle."

So, what will you do today to plan your life as you'd like it to be?
Let me know if I can help.
As always, I'd love your comments.

Happy Sunday.
Ann

I'm Flabbergasted AND I'm Inspired

Cheers from Austin, TX, where I've been for the last 9 days ... part work, part vacation. Before that, I was in San Francisco for 4 days, but more about that in a moment.

So, I've just spent 9 days in the city that I lived in for 20 years and have been gone from for 3 years. I come here often, for clients, but most importantly, to visit my son and my friends. I love it here, well, except for the hot weather and humidity and traffic. It's beautiful and relaxing.

While here, I had several events to help launch my book and my new directions. I invited literally hundreds of people -- to a private party to celebrate, to a workshop on ReInventing and to an "official" book signing event at a local, independent bookstore. The workshop was a success -- 7 wonderful women came together to explore where they are in their lives and where they still hope to go. There were tears and there was laughter and there was a palpable sense of "wow"... so many possibilities and there was "oh, my God, how can I ever have that?" They bonded in under 5 hours and will continue to support each other. It was so gratifying to be part of that experience.
One woman signed up and then called that day to say her husband wanted her to stay home and help him work on the roof. So, she didn't come, even after signing up with a sense of urgency and desperation and a comment of "I have no passion in my life." Go figure.

The other events is what flabbergasted me. I have so many friends here and I really wanted to see them and share my excitement ... hardly anyone came to either event. I was hurt, disappointed and it triggered my issues of "nobody likes me" "everyone forgets me or rejects me" "what I'm doing isn't important." Amazing how quickly I can take it personally and feel small and insignificant.

Now, compare that with why I was in San Francisco: I attend the final weekend of a year-long course called Power & Contribution AND a Conference for Global Transformation. There were people there (like over 500) from all over the world. I've been in a class with 150 of them all year. Each of us has taken on a promise to change the world in some significant way and to devote our lives to that cause.

My Promise: By the year 2025, all people will be "reinventing" themselves for happiness and fulfillment and be inspired to make a difference in the world."


So, imagine .. I go to a global conference, I'm working to inspire people to take on FULFILLMENT in their lives and then I come to Austin and hardly anyone comes to see me and celebrate my launching of my book and my promise. That's the context. Now, here's the "what I see"/ the points of understanding:

1. People do what they do, and it has nothing to do with me -- so stop taking it personally. Sometimes people can't be with the excitement and celebration of others, especially if they are not excited and happy on their own.
2. As I move forward to have a global impact, I must realize that many (make that MOST) people will not be interested .. it's part of the challenge.
3. I need to get ahold of myself and stop being so sensitive and keep focused on what's really important to me. And, stop distracting myself with insignificant things and stop "settling" for less than what I deserve.
4. Never give up!!! When what you are about is important to you ... NEVER, ever, give up.

My message to you this day Boomers -- go after life with gusto, don't let what people think of you have any negative impact on you and keep taking one step after another.

Have a glorious week.
Ann

An "Accidental" Life

Good morning and Happy May,
I've been sooooo busy that I haven't entered anything in this blog in 2 weeks. Ouch.
So, I'm here to make up for lost time and ramble a bit.

First, I just completely burned and destroyed the hard-boiled eggs I was trying to boil. I often do that. I put them in a pot of water and then leave them on the stove ... and proceed to forget...until I hear this weird "popping" noise in the kitchen. Then I find them popped instead of boiled. Gross. I might as well throw the money in the garbage can rather than buy and waste the eggs. Now, why does this happen? Because I don't cook very much anymore -- been there, done that. And second, because I'm preoccupied.

Second, I'm sick of the news. Truthfully, I hardly turn on the TV. At age 63, more than 1/2 way through my life, I don't want to be scared to death every day. I'd rather live in lala land, with my head in the sand.

Third, I'm working as fast and as hard as I can ... just to create new opportunities for work AND to keep myself occupied. Don't know about you, but the economy is hitting many independents just as hard as those being laid off... and we don't have the benefit of unemployment compensation.

Fourth, I'm on a very strict 3-week food plan/ a nice way to say "diet." Yes, the dreaded "diet." I can't eat sugar, dairy, bread, rice, pasta, ketchup, vinegar... anything that creates mold or yeast. It's boring, challenging and so far, after 9 days, I haven't lost a pound and I'm feeling deprived. I'm craving popcorn, cokes, wine and chocolate, of course. Now, why am I doing this? Well, first, honestly, to be healthier ... need to definitely lose 20 to 25 pounds. But, there's more. As this 60+ single, boomer woman ... I want to be THIN ... so that men will be attracted to me. Is that sickening or what. You've heard me rant about this before. There's not a profile on Match.com where these men (often a bit overweight themselves) are demanding that their match be thin and fit (and being 30 would help too.) So, in my efforts to have companionship (well, that's one way of putting it)... I think I have to be thinner so that they will find me attractive. Besides, there's no way I'm getting into any kind of intimate relationship with a flabby body like this. And, if it would only stop raining and going back and forth to Winter weather, I'd get out there an start walking long distances to firm up that flab. Okay, enough about this one.

Fifth, and this is the one I really wanted to write about: The Accidental Life....
I do some work with clients in corporate America. I'm seeing many people, because of the layoff situation .. becoming Accidental Managers. What I mean is... they're working along, doing a good job, their boss gets the axe, they get asked to "step up" into that management position ... and voila.. they're a manager. And, they know not what to do!!! Well, many of us in our lives are being called into an accidental life. We had work coming in ... and don't now, so we're scrambling .. trying to figure out what to do to make money. We used to have some money to spend for extras and things we enjoyed... and well, we're down by double-digit percentages and we're accidentally now figuring out how to have fun without money. We've fallen into a "default" life and trying to fight our way out of a brown paper bag.

So, let's reframe that for a moment. Remember, I'm the head boomer -- old, wise, knowledgeable .. so they think. I can figure it out. When you have lemons, make lemonade, right?
So, when something unexpected befalls you, how do you react to it proactively and not be a victim of the Accidental Life? Easy: First, you cry.. if that's your nature? Second, you do an internal examination, remembering how you've coped in the past when things didn't go your way. Third, you "reinvent" your way of being. Example: Go through your closet and start a new image with what you have .. get funky, or more or less stylish, change your hairstyle (men, shave off or grow a mustache), be more or less colorful. Another example: Do the opposite of what you normally do. If you immediately get up and go on a rampage to find work .. then, instead, sit quietly and meditate or go for a walk... then come back and work. Or, if you find yourself complaining a lot (like I often do) then don't let anything negative come out of your mouth... demand only positive thoughts and words from yourself.

You get the point? Things might appear to happen "accidentally" and we all know we can't always control what happens... BUT, we can control how we react to it or handle it. Handle it with grace and ease and fun and laughter, being practical where you can and throw the rest up at the ceiling and see what sticks.

See the "accidental" as "serendipity" ... see what happens. Ride it out.
Have a lovely week.
Ann