Time to be EXCITED about your life!

Hi Everyone,
Wow, it's been a month since I last posted... I can't believe it. So much has happened and I've been so busy. Glad to be back sharing with you.

I hear from so many people, especially many who are aging, that they are still "settling" for mediocrity ... still living life as others expect them to. It makes me so sad. In my own "Pollyanna" way, I just want people to be happy and fulfilled. I want you to do whatever it takes to have the life you want.... AND, I know I can't make anyone take the steps. I can cheer you on, I can get you going, ask the questions, help you see who you can BE... but you have to do the work.

Question: Who do you want to BE?

Three weeks ago, I spent 4 days alone, in retreat, writing 3/4 of my new book about HOW TO ReInvent yourself. It was bliss .. to be away from my normal environment, writing daily ...and now I'm nearly done.
FYI: The new book is called: When You Want Things to be Different: 7 1/2 Steps to Transcend the Status Quo. YOu'll be thrilled with it.

After writing for 4 days, I went off on a Spiritual, meditation retreat .. to bliss out and relax. What a fabulous week.

POINT: I can do all this because I work for myself .. doing what I love. I make my own schedule, I don't get on a train or in a car and work elsewhere from 9-5. I'm so blessed. Perhaps, you can figure out how to create that sort of freedom for yourself!


To continue. The last 2 weeks, I've been a crazy person, putting together REInvention flyers for workshops in NY, in London and building my repertoire of offerings. (Yes, I do have to earn a living ... dont' have a trust fund.)

Now, here's what I really want to write about today. I got an email from my old business coach. He raised the question .... What are you excited about? And, he made the point that life is so much richer when you have things to look forward to.
I felt motivated to send him some of the things I'm exicted about right now in my life.
Here they are:

1. My last book came out in March. It's about my reinvention ... divorce, move to NYC, etc. It's called Sixty,Sexy, Sassy and Free: A Real Woman's Story of ReInvention.
It's a memoir and juicy. Read an excerpt at www.sixtysexysassyandfree.com
2. My next book is due out in September ... it's called: When You Want Things to be Different: 7 1/2 Steps to Transcend the Status Quo ..... it's the "how to" ReInvent.
3. I'm now positioned as the ReInvention Hotshot!... love it.
4. I'm speaking in Iowa in September, in NYC the next day and then doing a REInvention workshop in London on Sept. 29th.
5. My son's band (he's the lead singer) has found an "angel investor" ... they'll be crossing over into the bigtime this year. It's a miracle I produced by doing a FREE talk in Boston 2 years ago for a charity group ... met this man, hooked him up with Gabriel and now 2 years later it's come to this.
Check them out at: www.myspace.com/distantlightsmusic --- Gabe is the hunky cute one in front with the white shirt. So, I'm excited to be the Mother of a Rock Star.
6. I have so many new opportunities everyday and I live in NY having a blast. Life is Good... and I'm always excited.

Question: What are you excited about?

I'd love to hear from you.
Have a wonderful Summer day!
Hugs,
Ann

Wow ... Life is So Vulnerable ... Savor the Moment

Hi Everyone,
Well, I just returned from a quick weekend in Austin, TX. I went there to surprise one of my best friends for her 60th birthday party AND, as always, to spend some time with my son and friends who live there. It was a fabulous weekend ... well, mostly.

There is much to say about that visit and about what happened just before and just after.

Most of the time, I feel really young in spirit and attitude and in health. Sure, I have the perennial 20 pounds to lose, but overall, look and feel pretty darn good for age 63. However, some of the time, I feel ancient .... aches, pains, low endurance and mentally, well, feel like I suffer from CRS (can't remember sh-t!).

Let' me start at the beginning.
Well, actually, it was a tough start to the year. I lost my last brother. His name was Shelly, he was 74 and he died after a long battle with metastatic cancer. It was tough in the end. I miss him. He loved me unconditionally and was always there for me ... especially late at night when I just wanted to talk. Then, within weeks, I lost a "surrogate" Mother -- a woman I've known from my youth. She died of a heart attack on an airplane, on her way to Israel, from Miami.
Now, I suppose that as we age, we expect we'll lose more people. It's normal; but never easier. I lost many when I was young too and have never done well with death.

Anyhow, more recently, a friend (really an acquaintance) died suddenly of a heart attack. I'd seen him less than a week prior. It was a shock to us all. He was a great man, a benefactor, a loving husband, father, etc.

So you can see .... lots of death ... and then ... the day before I went to Austin, was the dual loss of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Both boomers, both icons from my youth and young adulthood. Both too young. Farrah from cancer ... bravely; Michael from that which kills many celebrities ... drugs and hard living. No matter what people thought of Michael ... I always liked him and felt sorry for him. He was an unhappy man who never had a childhood, was awkward in his skin.. and yet so incredibly talented.

Message: We never know from one moment to the next what will be next. There is only the moment.

So, now to this past weekend. My friend was totally surprised by my presence and honored that I would fly in for her. I spent great time with my son and I saw my sister-in-law after not seeing her for 7 years (since my divorce.) While it was nice to see her, it was unsettling .. reminded me of much unpleasantness. She talked of the death of her husband, her sister .... lots of sadness.

I know I digress .. but I'm getting to a point here.

While in Austin, I developed a severe cold and dreaded flying home with plugged up ears and congested head. Ugh! I had two flights ... one to Chicago and then another to NY. I bought little ear screw in plugs to open the passages and it helped. But, about an hour into my first flight, I had an "incident." I tell you, with a little embarrassment ... but there's a point.

I was sitting in my seat. I felt myself overcome with something ... My body was fluttery, my hands shaking and numb, I was sweating and I could barely breathe. I headed to the restroom... thinking I might vomit. (Yes, I know this is graphic.) I didn't. I asked the flight attendant for water and juice and they let me sit in the rear jumpseat. They gave me a damp cloth to put on my head/neck. I was able to relax and I determined it was a panic attack (something I've experienced at other times in my life.) I eventually returned to my seat, slept and was fine.

While at Midway Airport in Chicago, I debated ... should I take the next flight or stay in a hotel overnight and relax? I decided I wanted to get home to my own bed. It was a good call. I didn't have another panic attack. I did have a lot of ear pain with this dumb cold... but I got home safe and sound. I went to bed immediately and slept for 10 hours.

Now, why do I write all this?
There's much.
These are tough times. I admit I have less business then I've had in years and am striving to figure out what else to do to create more. I'm 3 years in NY in my new home and although I have friends here, I'm not "as" close as I am to my lifetime friends who are elsewhere. I'm sort of "alone" in a big city. It's daunting at times.

Now, here's the point. NO MATTER WHAT ... I AM THRILLED TO HAVE RE=STARTED MY LIFE... I have NO regrets.

ReInvention is never easy .. it can be anxiety-producing. Stuff happens all around us .. some we can control, some we cannot. The important thing .. I NEVER give up .. I put one step in front of the other and I keep on trucking. I do what I know how to do. I network, I write, I promote. I know I'm here because I'm supposed to be AND I know I'll find my way in staying here and I'll figure out what my next steps are.

I could let the panic deter me. I could curl up and get under the covers. I could move back to Austin, even though I no longer love it there. But, I don't.

And now .. for you. What is it you want to really be doing in your life that you're willing to be anxious about and yet do anyhow?
As I often say... Aw, what the heck ... do it anyhow!

So, live life today to the richest level ever. Don't watch the news too much.. it's unpleasant and unsettling. Make sure you love those you choose to... and tell them so every time you speak to them.
Live the moment .. it's the only one you have.
Grow old with grace, take care of yourself as best you can.. but also make sure you laugh and have tons of fun along the way.

Thanks for letting me rant on. Yesterday was the first time I actually felt vulnerable .. like I could die on an airplane. I was in touch with my mortality. It was not fun AND, it was enlightening.
Now, it's about living... as fully as I can.

Have a great day.

Okay ... so I'm Taking it on ... My Fitness ... Ugh!

Hi Everyone,
So, for months I've been bitching and moaning about how chunky/ chubby I'm getting. And, of course that's all I've been doing. I haven't been taking any real action to change that concern. Well, I have taken action in the realm of eating ... but in the opposite way ... eating way too much.

But, I let me digress. About 14 months ago, I had knee surgery. It fixed the tear, which was great news. I was now able to walk much better, and without a lot of pain. While there was some residual arthritis, I was really motivated to get stronger and more fit. So, last Summer I was committed. I started walking .. a lot, not just city walking here in NYC, but speed walking along the Hudson River in Riverside Park. I also started eating in a more healthy way. Result: I lost 10 pounds and I felt sexier and healthier and had a lot more energy. That lasted from last March/April through the end of November. Then, along came holidays ... and Winter.

Suffice it to say, I ate too much, walked too little and have now noticed that I added that 10 pounds I lost back on, plus a couple more. Ugh!!! I feel sluggish, really chubby and don't have a lot of confidence about my sexual attractiveness because of it.

Now, back to the purpose here: I got an email about a Boot Camp for boomers that started tonight. Yup, every Tuesday night, along with other baby boomers here in Manhattan, we're meeting at the beautiful fountain in Central Park and participating in an excruciating hour of upper, lower body exercises plus lots of aerobic walks around the fountain in-between. It's killer and I know it will make a difference for me.

Now, for me to get to Central Park first is about a 25 minute walk ... then the one hour workout and then 25 minutes back. That's a lot. I worked muscles I didn't know I had ... and then some. I'm very confident that I will hate Joshua in the morning when I find it difficult to get out of bed. Now, it's nearly midnight and the pain hasn't set in yet, but he definitely promised us that it WILL show up.

I'm going to blog several times a week about this new adventure I've taken on .. The Bootcamp that will turn this 63 year old into a gorgeous, sexy creature so that men will be crawling all over me.

My previous excuse... "I don't do drugs, I hardly drink, I'm NOT having sex ... so don't take my food away from me"... will no longer work. In other words, I'll replace exercise as something pleasureable (granted that will take a bit of time) ... But, I'll have the hope that someday I'll have a sexy body once again ... sex-worthy .. and the need to eat will Go AWAY.

Keep tuned.I'll be tracking my progress with pictures and videos.
If you want more information (and if you live in NY) join me. Check Joshua out here: www.mindovermatternyc.com
Thanks
Ann

Sunday in New York

Happy Sunday,
I was gone from NY for 2 weeks, and have now been back for 4 days. I love being back. NY is amazing.

I moved here 3 years ago to appreciate what this city has to offer and the Summer is the time to be here .. for many reasons. 1. There are lots of free things to do outside -- concerts, fairs, carnivals, parks. 2. Many people who live here go away weekends to their summer homes, leaving the city less crowded (except for the tourists.) 3. I have the privilege of living between the two greatest parks that I walk in -- 3 blocks from Central Park and 2 blocks from Riverside Park (my favorite) which goes along the Hudson River, with Jersey across the water ... and connecting all the way down to Battery Park at the tip of Manhattan. 4. All the wonderful cafes where we can sit outside and drink wine or eat a great meal ... and watch people. 5. $6.00 movies every Friday, Sat. or Sun morning before noon -- what a bargain.

While I was at my conference in San Francisco, I hardly left the hotel. While I was in Austin, I did enjoy outside cafes, but it was already boiling hot and to walk someplace interesting, I had to get in my car and drive a distance.

Why do I share this? Well, life is what you make it. I suggest you live where you want to live. As a boomer, perhaps you've created some of the freedom to be able to live the life you want OR perhaps you're ready to start planning it for the near future.
There is no reason to stay where you're now living UNLESS it is where you choose to live.

Much of life is lived as a default. We're born someplace, to a certain set of parents and a lifestyle. Many stay put. They live where they've always been, they work in the arena of what that place offers or in the "family" business. Many do not stretch beyond the familiar.

Many of you know that one of my favorite sayings is: "don't die with your dreams still inside you." So, if you're longing for something different, make sure you begin to create it as a possibility in the upcoming years. Life is meant to be lived full-out. Sometimes, we don't move forward because we think we need to stay for the sake of the kids or the grandkids .. well, you know what, that's just not so. Ask yourself this: Do I want my kids to settle for a mediocre life (like I did) or do I want them to live a rich, full, exciting life filled with fulfillment?

When I decided to leave Austin, TX to move to NYC, my son said, "you go for it, Mom." He encouraged me. He knew that airplanes, and computers and cell phones can keep us connected -- and they do. We have an even richer relationship because we are both where we want to be. And, I'm proud to be able to set the example for him ... I don't ever want him to just "settle."

So, what will you do today to plan your life as you'd like it to be?
Let me know if I can help.
As always, I'd love your comments.

Happy Sunday.
Ann

I'm Flabbergasted AND I'm Inspired

Cheers from Austin, TX, where I've been for the last 9 days ... part work, part vacation. Before that, I was in San Francisco for 4 days, but more about that in a moment.

So, I've just spent 9 days in the city that I lived in for 20 years and have been gone from for 3 years. I come here often, for clients, but most importantly, to visit my son and my friends. I love it here, well, except for the hot weather and humidity and traffic. It's beautiful and relaxing.

While here, I had several events to help launch my book and my new directions. I invited literally hundreds of people -- to a private party to celebrate, to a workshop on ReInventing and to an "official" book signing event at a local, independent bookstore. The workshop was a success -- 7 wonderful women came together to explore where they are in their lives and where they still hope to go. There were tears and there was laughter and there was a palpable sense of "wow"... so many possibilities and there was "oh, my God, how can I ever have that?" They bonded in under 5 hours and will continue to support each other. It was so gratifying to be part of that experience.
One woman signed up and then called that day to say her husband wanted her to stay home and help him work on the roof. So, she didn't come, even after signing up with a sense of urgency and desperation and a comment of "I have no passion in my life." Go figure.

The other events is what flabbergasted me. I have so many friends here and I really wanted to see them and share my excitement ... hardly anyone came to either event. I was hurt, disappointed and it triggered my issues of "nobody likes me" "everyone forgets me or rejects me" "what I'm doing isn't important." Amazing how quickly I can take it personally and feel small and insignificant.

Now, compare that with why I was in San Francisco: I attend the final weekend of a year-long course called Power & Contribution AND a Conference for Global Transformation. There were people there (like over 500) from all over the world. I've been in a class with 150 of them all year. Each of us has taken on a promise to change the world in some significant way and to devote our lives to that cause.

My Promise: By the year 2025, all people will be "reinventing" themselves for happiness and fulfillment and be inspired to make a difference in the world."


So, imagine .. I go to a global conference, I'm working to inspire people to take on FULFILLMENT in their lives and then I come to Austin and hardly anyone comes to see me and celebrate my launching of my book and my promise. That's the context. Now, here's the "what I see"/ the points of understanding:

1. People do what they do, and it has nothing to do with me -- so stop taking it personally. Sometimes people can't be with the excitement and celebration of others, especially if they are not excited and happy on their own.
2. As I move forward to have a global impact, I must realize that many (make that MOST) people will not be interested .. it's part of the challenge.
3. I need to get ahold of myself and stop being so sensitive and keep focused on what's really important to me. And, stop distracting myself with insignificant things and stop "settling" for less than what I deserve.
4. Never give up!!! When what you are about is important to you ... NEVER, ever, give up.

My message to you this day Boomers -- go after life with gusto, don't let what people think of you have any negative impact on you and keep taking one step after another.

Have a glorious week.
Ann

Wake up and Smell the Roses

Hello there,
I've just watched a you tube video that brought tears to my eyes. As I explain and then send you to the link you'll certainly understand.

My friend sent me this link and just said to watch it. And I did, and I was.
What we see is a 47 year old woman making her stage debut on England's version of American Idol. The panel looks at her with humor and cynacism and expects her to be some sort of crazy woman. Then, she begins to sing and we are mesmerized.

As I watched, I wept ... for all the boomers ... and for all of everyone ... who has a dream and suppresses it. This woman struts out onstage and says, "I'm going to make that audience watch." She belts it out and you see the look of shock across the faces of Simon and his panel.

Many of you who know me, know that in my heart.. all I want is for people to feel passion and go for fulfillment. We all have talent, knowledge and dreams that are bursting to come forth.

I watched the video tonight after speaking to a professional group this afternoon. The name of the group doesn't matter. What does matter is that I hit a homerun. I know that as I walked that stage, making them laugh, getting them to think...that I got through. Following my speech there was a reception. Many people approached me with kind words. They told me that I made them think .. about things they want. One young woman sat down with me and for about 20 minutes told me how much she wants to move to Italy. Another person told me of her reinvention from one place to another and how she found love. All of my conversations led me to remember what life is really about: it's about creating life as you want it .. going for the gold, finding passion.

I know I sound redundant. I just can't help it. I'm excited. I'm also frustrated because when I run my workshops, I have a hard time attracting enough people. When I try to sell my book about my own reinvention ... few people buy it. I don't know how to break through to the masses and wake them up. How do I tell people to stop settling for less? How do I encourage them to go after life with zest?

That's my dilemma. I thank Susan Boyle for going after her desire.

(Go here to see the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY )

I'm so grateful I've been able to go after my dream. Now, what about the rest of you? Can I challenge you to take a few steps towards something new? What will it take?

Please ... wake up, smell the roses and go for it.
Ann

Wow, What Have I Been Up To

I can't believe it ... I haven't made an entry in about 3 weeks. 20 lashes with a wet noodle. Remember that saying .. it's makes me feel like I"m 16.

I've been out of commission. I'm so sorry. I was traveling for 11 days .. to San Francisco, Denver and then Reno, NV and then back home in NYC for the past 5 days.
I was busy, overwhelmed, jet-lagged.

And, now I'm back in commission, ready to rock and roll and take on life.
Here are some random thoughts.

1. I loved going to San Fran for this great seminar I take .. it's about making a huge promise for the world. My promise: That all people as they age find passion, courage, fun and fulfillment and use that as a catalyst for action for making a difference in the world.
All of my work is committed to this promise and sets forth my agenda for the rest of my life. It's exciting.

2. I spent a couple of days with my niece and her husband in Denver. I loved being with them and the time was short. I ended up leaving early to go to Reno because of a huge snowstorm moving into Denver. Point: Somethings just can't be controlled.

3. I went to Reno to be the opening speaker at a Baby Boomer Festival. While it was exciting, it turned out to be a "bust." Hardly anyone attended. I was disappointed. However, I'm sure a few people were moved and inspired by my talk and will hopefully begin to shift their priorities for their lives. I made up a new saying: Make the REST of your life, the BEST of your life.

4. Since returning to NYC, the weather has gone from upper 60's and sitting outside to low 30's and windy. No wonder we all walk around sick. It's so windy today that it's hard to even walk.

5. I'm feeling frustrated and challenged as to how to get people to buy my book. I'm open to all ideas for making that happen. I know there are at least 30-40% of those 77 million boomers who could benefit.

6. I'm feeling anxious and worried about the economy; however, I'm eternally optimistic. The challenge of being self-employed with no real safety net creeps into my consciousness.

So, that's it for a windy, cold Saturday afternoon in NYC. Just wanted to make an entry.
Let me know what's on your mind.
ann

A Really Special Day ... Another Milestone

Hi Everyone,
Well, even though it's after midnight in NYC while I write this, please pretend that it is still March 17th... Saint Patrick's Day. This is important, NOT because I'm Irish... I'm not and not because we wear green today .. I'm NOT.. .I'm in my pajamas actually and there's no green. What makes this day important is ... drumroll here. It's my 3rd Anniversary. I moved to NYC 3 years ago today. Yes, I rolled over the George Washington Bridge around 9:30 in the morning on March 17th, 2006. I was crying, my son was driving and the cats were yowling in the back of the van.

Here's the backdrop of the story. I left Austin, TX on March 14th, in a van loaded with 2 cats, my computer, printer, small desk, a couple of suitcases packed with clothes and whatever I could fit in the back. My son, Gabriel, was driving. We had an adventure of driving cross-country together. It was like Gabe was taking Mom to college. Yes, he was bringing me to NYC to live, which was the fulfillment of a life-long dream. Now, he, of course, was thrilled that Mom would have an apt. in NYC; he wasn't even thinking he might miss Mom on a regular basis. I mean, truly, do you think that even entered his mind?

So, here I was, 3 years ago, naive, soft-skinned, "nice." And, here I am after 3 years in NYC. I'm definitely more "on top" of my experiences and I don't fall for every Tom, Dick and Harry/ I'm more tough-skinned emotionally and my skin is flaky as hell from Winter. And, well, let's just say, "I've been working to develop my 'inner bitch'.. becoming much more assertive and not so nice. Wow, I have a great deal to be proud of.

Point: I followed my dream. I moved at age 60 to where I've always want to live... and I'm thrilled and I love it.

There's much more to the story. You can read it ALL if you order my new book. Read about it here: http://www.sixtysexysassyandfree.com

So, that's it for now. It's waaaay past my bedtime and I'll be wiped out in the morning if I don't get some sleep.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
Sleep well.
ann

A Milestone Day

Greetings,
Wow .. this was really a special day for me.
First, my book finally arrived .. it's done, on sale, out there.
Second, I took myself out for dinner ... at a nice restaurant. Let me explain.

I'm quite successful. I travel all over, I speak at conferences in front of hundreds of people, I've written two books; BUT, I have a hard time taking myself out to dinner alone. Funny, huh?

I can go out to breakfast or lunch on my own and even out to dinner at a salad joint or diner; but to go to a "real" restaurant is a problem. Why? Usually, there are couples and groups eating out in restaurants. You don't see too many people on their own. So, it feels lonely and I wonder what people think about me when they see me sitting alone. Of course, they're probably not thinking about me at all, but rather, are engaged in conversation with whomever they are with. But, in my imagination, I think they're wondering... "Gee, she must be a loser, or poor thing -- she's alone, or she probably doesn't date, etc." Weird. NO, I"m not a loser and I'm not a poor thing.. and I do date; but I don't always have a date or a friend to go with and sometimes I just want a good meal out. At those times, instead, I usually order in (in NYC anyone delivers) or buy something prepared from a local grocery.

Tonight, however, I wanted to celebrate receiving boxes of my book. My new book: Sixty, Sexy, Sassy and Free: A Real Woman's Story of ReInvention is about a brave woman starting over at age 60.(Go here: http://tinyurl.com/bn62hh) Notice it doesn't say in the title: "she can't go out to dinner alone."

So, I walked across the street to a great, trendy restaurant, sat at the bar, ordered a glass of Proseco. I've been there for a drink a couple of times and the bartender remembered me. I told him I was celebrating. He congratulated me. I was only going to have a drink and maybe an appetizer. But, I said, "aw what the heck ..." and I ordered dinner. Okay, I did eat it at the bar, not at a table ... but still .. I conquered the issue. And, I'm all the better for it.

So, I ask you .. what do you have to overcome? What new chance do you need to / want to take? I invite you to take the step and do it.

So, indeed, it was a milestone day. I received the finished copies of a book I've worked on for 3 years AND I ate dinner alone at a trendy restaurant.
I'm a boomer who takes risks and shares that with the world to encourage them to do the same.

Thanks for checking in.
Have a good night.
Ann

Don't Panic ... Just Think and Do Something Different

Hi Everyone,
Hear me out ... "we're gonna be okay." We absolutely need to join the revolution that says not to be consumed by the negativity and fear. I know it's hard, but you can do it ... and you want to do it. Your future depends on it.

Here's the deal. The economy is tough, we have a new President, the world is in a scary place, people are losing jobs, money is scarce, yada, yada, yada. We know all the bad news. Time to be cognizant, but not to succomb.

Baby boomers are strong, resilient and resourceful. We'll figure it out. I hate to say it, but money is not the most important thing in the world. Think about it ... what about health, children, friends, spouses or significant others (if you are lucky enough to have one), beauty, art, music, literature. there is so much more than just money. Yes, we need money. I haven't figured out how to pay my bills without it; however, when there's not enough, we figure it out. Can you hear a theme here: It's "figure it out."

The good news: You're not alone. We're all in this together ... everyone... in the whole friggin world is in this together. It's global.

New and innovative ideas are bursting forth exponentially. Cooperative living is coming back around. My back up plan: My sister and I and some friends all plan on living together and taking care of each other. We'll share expenses and be there for help and guidance and assistance. It'll work. Hey, it beats moving in with the kids. Unless, of course, my knight in shining armor shows up and whisks me away on his white horse and we're rich in the kingdom of plenty (I know ... I have a weird imagination.)

I strongly urge anyone reading this to be inventive. Start asking the question: What do I want to be different? Play with that question: What do I want to be different about my self, about my relationships, about my work situation. What can I DO differently that might impact myself of others in a new, improved way? Just talk this through with yourself or others ... have discussions. You'll be amazed at what will begin to come forth from your cobweb brains. Time to be ingenious and think out of the notorious box.

Lose your job? Great. Now what? What talents and interests do you have that other people need and how can you deliver it?

In my 6 STeps to ReInvent yourself, the third step is to Never, ever, ever, ever let anyone tell you what to do or not to do. Follow your own heart ... see what you have to offer and soar with it.

If this moves you.. then email me. I'm starting new ReInvention teleclasses and doing some in person.... it will help you figure it out.
I don't know about you, but when I try to figure something out on my own, I'm not nearly as effective as when I talk it out with others. The synergy of the conversation is much more productive.

So, get off your whiny horse, talk things out, think big and different and see what starts to emerge.
I'm here if you want me.
Have a great day.
Ann

It's Publishing Time

Hi Everyone,
I've been on hiatus, truly, but only from this. I've been working my butt off finishing my long promised book on my own personal story of reinvention. The book, Sixty, Sexy, Sassy and Free: A Real Woman's Story of ReInvention is DONE.

These last few weeks have felt like the last month of a pregnancy... when you are so ready to get that little darlin out of you and be done with it. I alternately loved the book and hated it. I've been filled with doubt about whether anyone will like it or not. I spent lots of money working with a real writer to help me turn my story into a readable story. He was masterful -- yes a man, with a woman's story .. .in taking my journey and my jounal and turning it into a readable story. Now, will you like it, I have no clue.

Here's the scary part. It's the story of a boomer woman, turning 60 and deciding she's ready to leave Austin, TX and move to NYC and start over. So, I sold everything and did just that. Now, I've been here 3 years and it's time to get it out there. My mission is purely to help boomers (especially women) look inside, reassess and figure out how they want the rest of their life to go. I've been "driven" to write this story to inspire others. In order to do that, I've had to put it all down ... the good, the bad, and the ugly and expose all my warts, indecision, angst, fear, mistakes, etc. By the time you turn the final page, you'll know way more about me than I would have ever thought possible. But, how can I inspire you if I'm not authentic and honest?

Please don't judge me for my mistakes, poor decisions, dating and sexual escapades. In many ways, after being married for 25 years, I feel like I'm a 16 year old teenager trying to figure it all out.

Most importantly, read this to encourage YOU to take a stand for having your life be all it can be. Check it out: www.sixtysexysassyandfree.com

I'd love to hear your comments and of course, I'd be thrilled to have you order it.

I Just Saw A Movie that Tells me I'm on the Right Track

Hi Everyone,
I know this is a very long title... but it says it. Although I needed to be home working on the manuscript for my nearly finished book, Sixty, Sexy, Sassy and Free... I did, instead, go to the movies this afternoon. Given the timing, Revolutionary Road was about to start.

I knew it would be sad, heavy and uncomfortable to watch; afterall it's about the disintegration of a marriage. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are reunited from their Titanic movie of over 10 years ago. They are awesome. They've matured AND their chemistry is still amazing.

As I watched the unravelling of their relationship, I couldn't help but see myself and my own experience, not to mention that of many others.
But, the thing that struck me the most was the underlying "cause" or theme beneath the obvious. Here it is: Here's a man who settles to work at a job he doesn't like so he can make it -- e.g. support his family, pay the bills, be responsible. Here's a woman, frustrated by the boredom of the suburbs AND frustrated by her inability to excel in a career she was interested in. At some point in the movie, they climb out of their doldrums, develop a plan to alter life as they know it and REINVENT themselves. They get excited, take all the steps to start over. Their love returns, they're happy. Then, of course, they reneg on the deal and go back to feeling unfulfilled, unhappy with each other. It's awful.

They aren't even baby boomers, so why am I writing this? It's easy. I am so keenly aware of how many people are living lives of quiet desperation ... settling, giving in, daydreaming, but taking no action. In the husband's case, he had no clue of what he really wanted to do with his life. I can't tell you how many people I know that fit that bill. They don't even allow themselves to consider WHAT would make them happy, where they'd like to devote their time and energy. They're just too immersed in doing whatever it is they do. And, here's the worst part. They don't see that their own misery bleeds over into the misery of those around them.

So .. I'm on the right track. I'm writing, speaking and coaching on Re-Energizing, Re-Purposing, Re-Inventing .... in business and in life. My goal is for all people to be engaged in purposeful work and to feel a sense of fulfillment.

I invite you to continue on this journey with me.
My book is nearly done ... stay tuned for announcements.
If you're in the NY area, attend my workshops. If you're not in NY, let's talk -- gather a group of folks, pay my expenses and we'll split the fees. I'll come and do my workshops where you live.

Together, let's help people feel that sense of achievement ... let's make our hearts sing and feel passion.
No time like the present.
Thanks,
ann

Happy New Year 2009 & Happy Birthday to Me

Good afternoon everyone,
I trust you got the sleep you needed after the partying you may (or may not) have done last night. Whatever you did, I hope it was fun and fulfilling.

Today is my birthday ... and the only reason I tell you is because it's a milestone for us all ... all of us boomers, I mean. Remember, I call myself the Head Boomer because I'm born on this day ... the first day of the baby boomer generation. Yes, Boomers begin turning 63 today, just like me.

Funny, 63 sounds old, but I don't feel old and I don't look old. Most people think I'm quite a bit younger and sometimes I have to swallow hard when I admit my age. But, here's the rub. I can't call myself Head boomer and declare my age so publically and then lie about it at other times. So, for example, on dating sites .. I have to be honest. Does that get me less attention... probably. I mean, clearly, how many men are chomping at the bit for a 63 year old woman? So, if I lied by a few years, maybe I'd get more traffic. But, so be it. I'm sure, that one of these days, the man of my dreams will show up. I know he's out there looking for me too. In fact, I might have already met him and it's just a hop, skip and jump til it's declared and we realize it and relationship starts.

Point: You never know what the next moment in time brings you!

So, now for the specialness of today.
It's follows last night, which turned out to be nicer than I expected, altho frightfully cold in NYC.

Today is laid back for now. I took myself to brunch, ate too much (which has to stop happening very soon.) I'm home for a bit, then I'll have a few friends joining me for Happy Hour this afternoon. (Hoping the freezing weather doesn't keep them away.)

I'm reflecting a lot on how I expect this year to be.
Of course, I'm concerned, as we all are, about the impact of the economy. I'm a bit worried about work and contracts and "gigs" and finances. But, I'm also truly optimistic about the fact that I have talents, skills and information that's very timely and helpful. So, getting that word out will help.

I've been self-employed for 22 years now and have ridden waves before. I'm sure I'll be fine. We're all in this together, so let's hold on tight.

Meanwhile, throughout the day, and the weekend, I'll continue reflecting, intending, creating my future. It's nice to have a 4 day time period to do that in. I'll be working, yet relaxing and playing as well.

How about you?
If any of you reading this would like my FREE New Year's Assessment guide, please send me an email ... ann@annfry.com I'll send it right out. It's an opportunity to reflect on this past year and to prepare for this new one. It would be my pleasure to share with you.

So, take a deep breath, hug yourself, tell yourself how wonderfully marvelous you are, take another deep breath, sit down and write your goals/intentions for the year, DON"T make resolutions (you know you never keep them), take another deep breath, then go out and do something fun.

Remember the people who love you, remember all that is working well for you and all that you have to be grateful for.

Keep your optimism in check... you'll need it. Figure out where you are and where you want to be. Perhaps this is the year you REALLY do regenerate or reinvent yourself. If that's your goal, make sure you're on my mailing list at www.itsboomertime.com I'll be starting my ReInvention teleclasses very soon... you won't want to miss them

So, here's to 2009 -- may it be your best year ever ... the year you reach peak fulfillment in all areas.
For me .. I want a great man/relationship this year, I want lots of speaking engagements and coaching clients and I want my book to be a best seller. Of course, I also want health, wellness and wealth.

I raise my glass of Proseco to you and wish you all your dreams!
Happy New Year... from me to you.
I'd love your comments.
Hugs,
Ann

Summing Up the Year ... on the Last Day of the Year

Good Morning,
Well, here we are, the last day of 2008. What a year, what a ride.
I don't consider myself to be someone who keeps track of all the trends ... I'll leave that to the media pundits, reporters, sociologists, etc. I do know a few things though, and want to address them from the baby boomer perspective .. and of course, throw in some of my opinions and personal experiences.
Here we go:

This is both a glorious time and a maddening time for boomers. For years, we've celebrated the magnificence of our generation. However, in the last year, we've drastically "slipped" from grace as we are now being blamed for all the greed and failures of our society. The articles abound.
Comment: Screw them if they can't take a joke. How dare the reporters throw out all the good we've done by trying to blame us for the atrocities we face now. We are still the best generation... we know how to do things at the grassroot level, to impact our society, to make a difference. Clinton and Bush, both at the top of boomer gen were president. One brought our country to surplus and the other brought us to debt. We obviously can't put all boomers in the same pocket. I do know, however, that if we were to reconnect to our 60's roots, we could mobilize the sort of efforts needed to make things better.

The economy has brought the thoughts of retirement to a halt for many OR driven people to joblessness before they were ready.
Comment: My sources tell me mostly, that they are not ready to retire. They feel like they still have years of value to give. However, that being said, being forced to stay in work because of 401 losses is a nightare for some. Remember, all who do retire do not just enter the ozone .. they actually take on projects, self-employment, volunteering in ways that are helpful. Much of this will be put on the back burner. And, for those who wanted to stay and work for years, well they may be the first to be shoved out.... and they will flail around a bit trying to figure it all out. It's a tough time.

We made history politically this year. We had two women on the ticket ... one an older boomer and the other not quite a boomer. And, we had the oldest candidate and a very young candidate who also happens to be an Afro-American. We have a President-elect who seems to be creating hopefulness. He's a very young boomer... barely one... but let's give him a chance.
Comment: It's fascinating to watch history be made .. to see things we never thought we would see. And, in many ways, to me, it's interesting to pass the baton over to the next generation. I also love that so many millenials voted in the last election -- that's huge.
Personal Comment: My son, age 30, is the lead singer of a band. His band was among many others that urged the youth of the nation to vote ... great to see them all becoming dedicated to how our country can be.

As for the turning of the year to 2009, I'll probably write tomorrow, but briefly, I want you to know that I'm filled with hope. The country has been in a rut, many of us have been in a rut personally. Well, it's time. When you want things to be different (my byline) ... then now is your chance to make them different. It's up to each of us to do that. Otherwise, you can't complain. If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always gotten. Period.

So, when I go to sleep tonight, after watching the ball drop (and even though I'm in NY, there's no way I'll be downtown in that mess) I'll be a year older. Remember, I'm the Head Boomer -- your leader of sorts, born first day of our generation. I'll be 63 in the morning at 8:16 a.m..... not the first, but still pretty early.

Happy ringing in the New Year.
And, if anyone wants it, I have an assessment for the year. You can sit down in a little quiet moment and reflect over the past and the future. If you want it, email me at ann@annfry.com and put New Year Assessment in the subject.

Have a blast tonight.
ann

The Mid-Holidays Blues

Hi Everyone,
Hope you had the Christmas/Hanukkah, and any other holiday celebration that you desired. There certainly are many choices and experiences you could have had, so I hope you enjoyed the ones you made.

I spent much of the last week in solitude .. working on the final chapters, edits and rewrites of my book (which will hopefully be out by end January.) And, in between going crazy at the computer, I went to movies. I've seen many of the blockbusters and enjoyed them.
In fact, let me recommend: Doubt, Frost/Nixon, Milk, Slumdog Millionaire, Benjamin Button. Fine, compelling movies. There are many academy award nominees here and the choices will be tough to make. Some of the finest movie-making releases in quite some time... at least in my estimation.

So, we've completed one holiday and there's another to come. The heralded New Year celebration is upon us. I wanted to crawl under the blanket and avoid it... for two reasons: 1) I have no man in my life to kiss at midnight of new year's eve and 2) My birthday is New Year's Day and I'm turning 63 and it feels really old.

I have many girlfriends, but they have parties, families and plans lined up ... except for one and we finally made a plan to do something that night. WE're going to see a special NYE edition of the Best of Gilbert and Sullivan. Should be fun... it'll be over at 11:00, so lots of time to get home, turn on the TV for the ball dropping OR brave into a local bar, hoping it's not just filled with happy couples, and toasting in the NY as friends and with whomever might be watching TV at the time.

Then, finally, we'll be on to the new year and hopefully my spirits will perk up.
2008 has been challenging to me personally, but also to all of us collectively. If we have any money socked away, we've seen it collapse, dwindle, disappear -- might as well call a blanket a blanket ... it's true. Many of us have lost jobs or if we're freelancers, seen our opportunities go down. There's lots of fear swirling and who knows when it will end.

Does 2009 call for a prettier future? Who knows. I do know that our new President carries much hope for a new future. Those that didn't support him have their doubts about that ... but overall, after the past 8 years, the dreadful shape we're in .. the idea of new blood and youth and vitality seem to be carrying that glimmer of a better future. Time, of course, will tell. Would anyone want to be Obama right now? Not I, for all the tea in China.

So, baby boomers ... let's cheer on 2009 as our best year yet. Let's celebrate, dance, sing, and explode with fun and happiness.

From me to you ...onward and upward!!

Remembering the 70s

I just came back from seeing the movie Frost/Nixon. It was compelling. Funny, many of us lived through those time and yet, 30+ years later, there's much that I forgot.

The audience was so quiet and so wrapped up in the movie ... it was that compelling. Frank Langella played Nixon in a surreal way and the English actor who place David Frost did an excellent job. Apparently I liked it.

We feel like we are in such a confused state right now ... having the end of 8 years of a terrifically disappointing president and a new one coming in that has much to prove. We see egregious acts of greed stoking our failing economy ... the rich getting richer, the disenfranchised getting poorer. We see CEOs of failing companies still flying around in their private planes and taking huge payments as part of their bailouts. We wonder if we're going to hell in a handbasket ..... but, you know what ... it's not new.

Watching the movie play out, seeing the illegal and manipulative things that Nixon and his administration did, reiterated the fact that people in power often don't have it any more together than the rest of us OR that they abuse their powers. He said, "being President means it's NOT illegal" .. referring to many of his acts and behaviors.

While he shows some unhappiness over his actions, he never really did apologize for them. He showed the same lack of accountability that we see today. Think... when have you seen a person in power take responsibility and say, "it was my fault" ? It's always another country's fault, or another person, or the Congress.

While feeling pretty damn worried about our future as a country and about my own and that of those close to me ... I must admit that in some ways the movie about the 70's and the Nixon actions and subsequent behaviors somehow reassured me. I know it's a stretch. Let me explain. If we could overcome all of that crap... then we will somehow overcome where we are today. Things will get better. Thay always do. And, many say that the greed that pulled us down will evolve into a different and better system. That's something to look forward to.

So, baby boomers ... let's learn from the past, use that knowledge to improve the present and take our skills out to the world of the future and make a difference. Let's tap into our sense of action and power and advocacy and make things better.
I suggest you start by going to a movie and let it push your buttons.

Thanks for letting me express myself.

It's So Interesting to be a Woman... and at this age!

Good afternoon,
Yesterday was a medical day. That is, I had two medical appointments. I always try to take care of all that stuff at the end of the year (after my deductible is met) and before out-of-pocket costs start again. So, first I went to the rhuematologist to find out why my knees hurt so much. I figured it is just old age and arthritis. So, we took xrays and found a little of that stuff, but not a lot. Verdict: need to lose weight (only 15 pounds), exercise more and work on getting the joints to me more limber. (of course, I remember joints of another kind, but we won't go there.)

Then, I went for my annual mammogram. Now, men, I know you've always heard your women complain about the mammogram and it's totally true, whatever they say. So, I got into my little hospital gown and sat in the waiting room, where it was freezing. It was about 40 degrees outside, but they had the AC on inside where it also felt like 40 degrees. I had goosebumps on my arms, not to mention elsewhere. So, it's time to go into the room and take the positions. Yes, boobs on the cold xray shelves, with the attendent moving my boobs around to be positioned correctly, then getting squished down so I won't move and then told to stop breathing. What joy. So, we did both sides and I got sent back to the waiting room to wait while they made sure the film came out okay.

The doctor came out and said that because my breasts are so "dense" (and I don't think he meant as in stupid) we were going to do an ultrasound to make sure there was nothing lurking underneath. So, into another room we went. Here, the nurse slathered gel all over my boobs (and it was freezing cold gel). Then, she went all over the territory with the ultrasound wand or whatever they call it. When done, she left me covered with gooky gel and didn't give me anything to clean up with but said, "don't worry, it's made with water, doesn't stain and has a built in moisturizer." How wonderful is that. It was still sticky and cold and wet.

Why do I write all this? I'm not sure. I think there's the dignity piece ... and I'm sure men feel it as well when they go to the proctologist or urologist. For me, I'd much rather someone I like be messing with my body parts AND I also know it's really important to have this all done. So, it's a mixed bag.

Point: Regardless of how unpleasant in might be ... it's important to do all the necessary things to keep yourself healthy.

Within the last month, I've had a check up, a gynecological exam, an abdominal ultrasound, a bone density test. Good news: I've got the bones of a 35 year old and no osteoporosis, no breast tumors, clean PAP smear and little arthritis. Bad news: my knees still hurt. But, I guess that's a small price. I can control that with more walking, bicycling at the gym and losing weight. One problem ... do I have to give up eating everything that's good?

Anyhow, wanted to rant a bit, and laugh about it all. If anyone is reading this .. maybe give you a chuckle.

Make sure you do what you need to do to be healthy .. you know, those self-exams, those medical tests. Treat yourself to wellness. it's worth it. It keeps you young and vital so that you can then go out in the world and accomplish all that you're up to.

Two last point: 1. Do yourself a favor. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you want to stay healthy (at least mentally) turn off the TV news!!! End of sermon. Watch too much of that and you'll be jumping off the rooftops. 2. Remember to laugh as much as you can ... even when it's hard to find something to laugh at. It's so curative.

Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Ann

Random Thoughts at the end of Thanksgiving Weekend

Good Sunday morning,
Wow, what a week this has been.
In our country, we celebrated what I consider to be our most beautiful, wonderful holiday, Thanksgiving. In India, there were many lives lost, lots of scary moments and their world will never be the same. In Long Island, NY, an employee was trampled to death as frenetic shoppers bombarded a Walmart store for bargains. What's the world coming to?

Personally, I flew to Portland, ME, just a 50 minute flight from JFK, so I could spend Thanksgiving with my sister. I mean, who wants to be alone on turkey day? And, she's a great cook. Even though vegetarian, she makes the best turkey dinner. It was fabulous. The only things missing for me .... I couldn't take any leftovers home with me AND my son was far away and not with me. Other than that, it was a great trip. I even got to shop at LLBean ... what a store.

Now, on the international front ... how do I feel, how does it all impact us, the baby boomers?

Although I like to keep my head in the sand, I occasionally have to look up, turn on the TV, buy the NY Times and be a realist. I see my funds dwindling, I see some of my clients pulling away due to their need to trim budgets. As a self-employed person, I can't deny that it's a bit daunting...even scary. But, if I give it a lot of power, I'll hide under my blankets and not come out. So, yes, we are in an economic decline and that IS impacting most of my boomer counterparts.... big time. And, I am remaining as calm and optimistic as I can. I occasionally rant, have a negative thought and then go to a funny movie or hook up with friends to laugh and enjoy my life.

Boomers, many of whom are not ready to retire, are really between a rock and a hard place. First, many of them are being forced to retire as companies face massive lay-offs. Second, their pensions are dwindling and they would prefer to continue earning for as long as possible. Third, they are sometimes caught in a need to continue supporting adult children who are also losing their jobs, watching their savings dwindle... and all in a holiday season.

Speaking of holidays. How about if we actually put a limit on folks about their idiotic spending? I mean, do your kids/grandkids really need 10 new toys? Can they do with 5? You know, when I was a therapist, I used to urge families to be honest with their kids about financial, health and other concerns. I don't believe in keeping it secret. I'm not saying you should scare them to death... but I am saying that you should be realistic with them. For example, you could sit them down and say something like this: "We want you to know that we are having a bit of a tough time financially. (If one of the parents has lost a job, say so.) So, we're asking you to be patient and understanding with us. Please limit your Christmas/Chanukkah lists.. keep them small. Please understand we can only buy a couple of things for you. And, we're going to eat at home more and not eat out so much. How about you help us come up with other ideas to save money?"

And, speaking of holidays, please remember that some people have nothing AND are experiencing great pain at this time. Although you might be juggling, don't stop being generous with others. Adopt a family for the holiday, invite the "strays" to share their day with you. Drop food off to an elderly neighbor. You get the picture. There's an important fact here: When you shift your attention to others less fortunate, reach out and help them, it's amazing how much smaller your own issues become AND you feel good. End of sermon.

About the shopping thing: If the bargain is here today only, DON'T push and shove... be patient. If you don't get the buy, wait a few days .. it will go on sale again. Is getting the best bargain worth stampeding and killing someone? And, here's a question for you: Who's fault is it that the employee at WalMart got killed? Is it Walmart's fault? Was it their greed to open at 5:00 AM with the draw of bargains and get people worked up? Or is it merely the fault of the individuals who in their desperation acted in despicable ways? I'd love your comments....

So, I guess this is a long enough rant. I've been gone a few days and am clearly making up for it all.

I'll be more connected to you.
Please share this with your friends. I truly want to build my readership.

Have a great Sunday and an even better week!
Ann

Get a Grip -- We Can Overcome the Tough Times

Morning,
Well, let's see. Obama has been President Elect for nearly a week. Whether you voted for him or not... he's it. Will you help or hinder? Witch hunts are going on to figure out how he got in office. The finger of blame is all over the place, the pundits are still covering it all. Help -- when will it all stop? When can we just settle in with other things going on? And, NOT the economy.

I'm really tired of all the bad news. I learned a long time ago that "what you think about expands." It's a metaphysical dynamic. If you think bad things, more bad things happen; on the flip side, if you think more positively, more good things occur. What if we, in our collective consciousness all started to focus on what's good in the world, in our country, in our city, in our community, in our family, in our lives? What if we ONLY look at the upbeat things? Is it possible we could shift the current occuring in the world?

Point: STOP buying into all the negativity. START focusing in on what you have to be grateful for, how you can help another human being, how you can make the world a sweeter spot!

At this moment in time, I'm inundated by my own experiences of what's not working as well and by desperate calls from others about "what should I do ...?" I feel myself getting sucked into the "what's missing syndrome" and it can consume me.
So, what to do? How to handle it?

Here's the truth: You have NO control over much that happens around you ... NONE. But, you have total control about how you react to it, or how much energy you give it. So, start with you. Examine how you're reacting. What are you taking into the world and creating that is having negative impact? What MUST you do differently?

Take time to be still and quiet, maybe even meditate.
Take time to walk and breathe in the fresh air.
Take time to smile and laugh.
Take time to create a gratitude list ... what are you truly grateful for.
Take time to look around and see that there are many who have so much less than you.
Take time to tell someone you love them and be there to support them

Get the focus off of you and reach out.
Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
Remember the law of reciprocity -- if someone does something nice for you, respond in kind -- do something nice for them OR pay it forward.

In other words ... take action.
Baby boomers were/are the activists of the century. Our activism made many wonderful things happen. In fact, if we were to mobilize our energy ... we could solve many of the problems impacting the world. I truly believe that.

I've been in total action these past couple of weeks. I've been on the phone promoting myself and my work, I've been writing, I've been teaching, I've been helping. I haven't been just trying to escape or hide under my blanket.

Ask yourself... in the words of John Kennedy: Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!!!

Stop reacting, start doing what you CAN.
End of sermon.
Go out and make it a wonderful week ... for yourself and for others.

It's a new Era in the USA

Last night, our country elected a new president. Barack Obama, a 47 year young baby boomer is now the 44th President-Elect of the USA. What's interesting about this, is not just that he is an African American, and the first to be elected to this position as an African American, but also that he somehow has acquired the trust of more than 50% of the general population. He also managed to carry 2x the number of electoral votes, having carried the most urban and highly populated states. What's even more interesting than that is that he brought out the highest number of voters in recent history ... especially among the gen Xers and millenials.

Now, why did that happen and what does it mean for the baby boomer generation?
First, he obviously moves huge numbers of people. That's obvious whether you voted for him or not.
Second, he heralds in the generations that followed us. Notoriously, in the past, younger people did not vote in large numbers. They seemed almost uninterested. My own son, age 30, has voted since he was told enough to register; however, he never had as much interest or excitement about it.
Third, it appears to me that we are now passing the torch. John McCain, although not a boomer, is married to one; but, he represented someone who seemed "antiquated" to the youth. He also seemed uncomfortable in his skin.
Fourth, the people who did support Obama seem to have a new level of "hope and inspiration" than has been felt in recent years. Despite your party of choice, our current President has been a disappointment. People decided they wanted something new ... they wanted someone they think will produce "new and different."

It remains to be seen how this will all turn out. Either Obama will produce. He'll make his supporters and citizens proud. Or, he'll be a huge disappointment, in over his head as many have said.

However, under any circumstances .. we're in for an interesting ride. And, I, as a boomer am accepting that the generations that followed us are now moving into more meaningful roles and taking more responsibility.

Let's see where this takes us.
I wish President Obama the very best as he takes on the biggest challenge of his time. And, I hope he is open to hearing what we, the experienced generation that preceded him, have to say.

My last wish is that Obama bring stability in the world ... that other countries will see us, the USA, in a more positive way.

Here's to change.
Ann

It's the Night Before Halloween

Hi there,
Well, it's Halloween Eve .. tomorrow night the gremlins will all be out. But, we don't need Halloween to be scared ... many of us are scared on a daily basis these days. It will actually be a relief to just watch the kids and their costumes.

I doubt I'll go down to the Village in NY and watch the parade. I just don't fancy being in big crowds like that. But, I'll watch it on TV and then that way, I'll be in my apartment for the kids that Trick or Treat here. Guess I better buy some candy and be prepared.

I don't know about you, but I used to love Halloween as a kid and when we were kids, there was no danger. WE could go anyplace and never be afraid. Even when my son (now 30) was young, we didn't worry much. There was the occasional reference to a razor in an apple, but I've heard since that it was an urban legend. So, he had a blast. The best part for me was to raid his goodie bag after he went to sleep. I'd pull out all the great chocolate that I loved and left all the rest for him. He never discovered that his mother was a thief.

It seems that the weather in NYC will cooperate. although it's been in the 40s, it seems it will get to about 60 for the goblin night. Yahoo.

All of this makes me yearn for some easier times. I feel nostalgic. Remember leaving our doors unlocked and our cars unlocked and we never worried? We didn't need to worry about the economy; our parents just seemed to handle it. And, we certainly didn't worry about gas for our cars. I remember it was 32.9 cents a gallon.

In a time like we're experiencing now, I yearn for times past. I wish my Mother were still on this earth -- I could use a little comforting. For those of us that are single at this time of our life ... who do we get the hugs and comfort from when we're worried or concerned or even a little blue? I suppose I could "rent myself out" or "buy someone else" ... but that's not my style.

The other thing on my mind is that Halloween really ushers in the Holiday season. While I'll be spending Thanksgiving with my sister in her 2nd home in Maine, my Christmas and New Year will be here in NYC... without family. Hopefully I'll find some other single friends to hang out with. But, my, my .. I am getting ahead of myself. Time to reel myself back in, be in the present moment and leave the future to it's time.

Have a wonderful Halloween. Let yourself get into it .. maybe dress up. Just have fun.
See you soon.
Ann

The ReInvention conversation

It's funny, but no matter where I go, and who I talk to, people are enthralled by the ReInvention conversation. When I present myself as a REInvention expert, it raises a lot of curiosity. I mean really, who says, "I'm a reinvention expert?" People say, I sell insurance, I'm a financial planner, I have an organizing business, etc.
I love the reaction.

Then, when I start talking about how I work with companies that want to reinvent their culture and with individuals who want to reinvent their lives, their eyes dilate wide open.
The concept has been around for a long time... so why do people think it's a novel idea?
I don't know the answer to that question, but I'll take a stab at it.

The boomers, especially. Well, we have just done what we do ... forever. A few of us have taken a chance on some entrepreneurial effort, but most have worked in corporate America or in some other capacity. We haven't focused on doing what WE want .. but rather on what was/is expected or to take care of our families. When I say... hey, you can do whatever you want to do ... I get these perplexed looks. They wonder, "really?"

What do I need to say to convince people to take some chances and begin to go after their dreams? Can you help me out?
What would grab you to want to make a shift?
Truthfully, deciding is part of the process ... but then, there's the follow-through. So, you decide you want something to be different .. you want to reinvent a portion of your life. But, then how do you do it?
Well, it's best to have a great support team or maybe a coach to walk through the process with you.

Keep posted. there's a 6-part series of teleclasses coming your way, If you don't already get the It's BoomerTime newsletter, go to www.itsboomertime.com and sign on. I'll be announcing the dates soon.

Enjoy thinking about what you want different and begin talking about it out loud as a possibility. that's part of the first two steps.

Enjoy!

Kindness -- It's so nice in these hard times

Good morning,
I had such a great experience this morning and wanted to share it with you.
Lately, people's spirits have been a little downtrodden. People are anxious... well, downright worried about the economy and if we're going to hell in a hand basket.

I've wondered if that anxiety might begin to impact people negatively in terms of how they might be around others. I live in NYC. We're around people all day long. There are hundreds on the subway together and on the streets. Usually, despite what outsiders sometimes think, people here are pretty friendly and helpful. So, I've been concerned about whether it would stay that way ... given the times.

Well, this morning I had an early appointment with a coaching client. I normally don't have to leave my apartment early and ride the subway (since I work at home) .. but today, I had to be at his office at 9:00 a.m. When I got to the subway station and ran my metro card through the slot -- it didn't work. I realized my monthly card had expired and I needed a new one. I started to step away from the entry and the man behind me (a baby boomer aged person, by the way) said ... "I"ll give you a swipe." I thanked him.

Now, why is that a big deal? First, one single ride is $2.00. He had to be giving away one of his slots. Second, it was such a gesture of kindness. The train was pulling in and he genuinely wanted me to make it. Third, there was no expectation of anything in return -- we would most likely never see each other again. Fourth, in a time when people could be "contracting" inward ... he reached out with generosity. I was impressed.

So, now, my responsibility is to "pass it forward."

As I returned to my neighborhood from my appointment (yes, having purchased a new metro card)... I didn't just walk past the contribution jar on the table on the street which collects for the homeless. I stopped and put something in the jar.

Point: No matter how difficult it seems, if we reach out with generosity, it will spread like wild fire. And, it's important to always be grateful for what we do have and to be of assistance to those who have less.

Here's another case in point. I currently have several very close people I care about who are not doing well. They are experiencing grave financial issues and are threatened to lose their domiciles. It's scary for me to be around them. I go into that fear of "there but for the grace of God go I." Now, I'm not religious and I don't know why that pops into my head, but it does. I'm often fearful about the "what ifs..." You know, what if I don't get new clients or new speaking gigs or what if I run out of money? What if I need to find a job ... after not working for anyone else for over 20 years ... what if I'm not hireable or I'm too old ...... and on and on.

However, when I get to a space like that ... I take a deep breath, allow myself to feel the fear (for a short time) but not dwell in it. Then, I get into action and do something. I either focus on creating a result -- e.g. pick up the phone and call a prospect or write an article or something OR I take time for a distraction, e.g. take a walk, run an errand, have lunch with a friend.

One last point -- when I reach out to others and am generous in spirit ... it goes a long way. I feel better, they feel better. That man swiping his card for me this morning ... well, it made my day. I'm so appreciative.

Go forth and be generous ... think beyond yourself and your immediate needs ... see how it spreads and generates spirit.

Have a lovely day.

Living in the Land of Not Knowing

HI there,
Well, it's been about a week since my last entry. I've not been watching too much TV, but I did watch the debate last week.
I can't wait for the presidential election to happen, be decided and be over.
I also am anxious for all the bad news about the economy to be over. I JUST Want to have some peace from worry.

I don't know about you, but I spend my entire life these days in the place of "NOT KNOWING!" In other words, I'm always on the edge. For example ... I don't know when my telephone will ring with the offer of some new work. OR, I don't know when I might meet my next new man or friend. Or, I don't even know what the weather will be tomorrow.

Truthfully, if we're honest, none of us really knows what's next. Now some of us probably have fairly predictable lives. For example, if you have a job, you can probably predict when you'll get up in the morning, when you need to leave for work, the best way to get there. You know you'll work certain hours and then return home at a usual time, go to bed at a usual time and then repeat. Your days are structured. And, you probably know when to expect your paycheck and probably how much it will be (unless you work on commission.)

Well, my life is nothing like that. I go to bed at night and check my calendar to see what appointments I have the next day. That determines what time I get up. For example, tomorrow, Tuesday, I have a coaching call at 10:00 a.m. So, I'll sleep til I wake up and will be ready for that. I don't have to set an alarm. Beyond that, I have writing to do tomorrow, someone coming at 3:00 and then a 6:00 dinner meeting. Beyond that, my time is unstructured. Then, at night I go to bed whenever I want. Like, here I am tonight, at 12:23 a.m. writing this.

I know I have to travel in mid-November. I know I have a few coaching clients that call in during the week. I don't know when I'll have another speaking engagement scheduled or when someone new will hire me. I don't know when I'll make more money. I live with all the uncertainty that comes from being an entrepreneur ... everyday.

Now, I must admit, there's much about that ... that I love. I love being unstructured. I love the freedom of going out during the day and working late when I want to. I love the "serendipity" of an unexpected call with a new opportunity. I love traveling to new places. I'm really happy with all that I do.
I DO not like an unsteady paycheck, periods of time that I make little to no money and the insecurity of it all.

Point: We all choose our lifestyles. If we're lucky, it's great and we love it AND even with the best life possible, there are worries.

For me, I'd rather be doing what I'm doing, but sometimes I pine for security and vacation leave and sick leave and a 401K.

Perhaps it's unrealistic to think one can "have it all."

Let's hope that in the land of knowing ... that soon we'll have a new president and that soon the stock market will close really high and stay there, and that soon we'll see a positive upswing in the stock market.

For now, let's do our very best to cope with the uncertainty.
In fact... if you didn't already know ... I've made a couple of videos for YouTube. You can go to YouTube.com and search for: annfrynyc --- take a peek.

Happy serendipity.
Ann

Random Thoughts ... the economy, the election and more

Hi there,
Well, I can't believe it's been about two weeks, actually a little longer, since I last wrote. I have no excuses .. altho I could make some. I was traveling, speaking, entertaining a house guest from Tokyo, having some anxiety about the economy, watching the political debates. But, other than that, no excuses.

Because of all my involvement with personal transformational seminars, I am no longer able to make excuses. I always take responsibility for things that happen in my life. Sometimes I hate that ... I want to blame others; but alas, it's all up to me.

Let's talk about the economy. For the last two weeks, I've been avoiding the television and newspapers; only wanted to hear the basics and no detail. But, alas, I'm not able to avoid it any longer. So, I've sent an email request to talk to my financial planner tomorrow and see where I stand. I'm afraid ... but I guess I need to be a big girl, grit my teeth and just know the truth. I'm also worried about my work. I don't have a lot in the hopper in the moment ... need to book more speeches, get a marketing plan in place, get on the phone. But, I seem paralyzed.

I spend a lot of time living in the place I call "the land of not knowing." I've written of this before. In my steps to reinvent myself ... I talk about having a plan to be with "uncertainty." Well, for all of us .. that's where we're at. We don't know when the market will bounce back. We don't know who will win the presidential election and if that person will be able to make an impact. Heck, we don't even know if it will rain tomorrow. There's a lot that is out of our control and our emotions are volatile. My classic question .. how do we handle it all?

I ask you ... what's your plan for dealing with it all?
Mine ... easy. First I do whatever I can to create some laughter ... to engage my sense of humor. But, when I'm on overload or feeling like I can't get a handle on it .. I go to a movie. Sometimes it's a comedy so I can laugh. Tonight, it was a tear-jerker, so I could cry. Either way, it taps into emotions and gives me a release. I come home more energized and focused to work.

What's your coping strategy?

As you face difficult decisions of the time ... what to do with your money OR lack thereof, who to vote for, what to make for dinner -- engage your coping strategies. Take time to laugh, love, experience, do something different yet meaningful.

Remember, we're the boomers. We are adventurous, daring, risk-taking, compassionate, focused and purposeful. Let's help the other generations tap into those aspects of themselves.

I'll be back at you soon.
Ann

Thoughts on a Saturday Night

Wow, what a week. Political craziness, Wall Street crises, Bailouts.... what does it all mean, how will it impact all of us?

I've lived in this country my entire life (well, except between 1970-72 when I lived in Japan) and I've been on the planet a lot of years.I've voted in a lot of elections, I've been through tough economic times. I'm not sure why, but I feel more "angst" and discomfort with all this now and thought I would explore some of these feelings with you. Chances are you feel some of it too.

While I was married, I didn't depend on my husband for financial support. I was actually more of a breadwinner than he was. But, none-the-less, he did contribute and did provide health insurance. So, being on my own creates a bit more uncertainty and insecurity .. financially.

As a self-employed person, there is anxiety about whether the work will steadily come in. I'm way to "old" to seek a job ... haven't been in the job market for over 20 years AND what I do is valuable and necessary ... but will corporations and associations still pay for me to Speak and coach? Or, will the economy impact that?

As for politics, will the candidate I support get into office? And, if he doesn't will the one I don't support come around to the position I think we need to turn things around? And, before we even vote in 6 or so weeks, will I be so turned off by the negative campaigning that I'll even care?

I truly dislike the election process. I hate that they both campaign with the intent of destroying the reputation of the other and not on what they plan to do. They both seem to be talking heads to me now -- saying what they think we want to hear. Saying what they think based on what the other says. Don't they get how we dislike it all? Is there any way that we, as average citizens, can tell them how much we want them to stop that?

So, I guess I've succumbed (at least for now) to the negativity. Truthfully, I haven't been watching the news. I get depressed. I prefer to keep my head in the sand as much as possible. Now, I know that's not what I "should" be admiting. I'm a highly enlightened and transformed woman ... and here I am admitting that I'd rather avoid looking at the world around me right now. But, hey, it is what it is. I'm being honest and authentic with you.

I'm wondering how you feel about all these things? What's important to you and on your mind as we go into week two of some truly tough times?
Please comment and let everyone hear from you.

Keep the faith. I also know from being on the planet for 62 years that everything eventually works out. The market swings back up, the election happens and ends campaigning for another several years. I know that if the "other" candidate gets in, I'll survive. No, I'm not threatening to leave the country and live elsewhere ... so I'll learn to cope. I've done it before. I'm resilient and so are you...
Onward an upward. Keep your chin up and have a great week.
Ann

I'm Flying on September 11th ... It Feels Weird

Good morning everyone,
I hope you feel renewed and refreshed after the weekend AND the short week.
It's Monday morning and we're back in the trenches of our work... and hopefully our passion. I am.

As I got organized for my week, I realized that I'll be flying cross-country on Thursday, September 11th. I don't think I've flown on that date in the past 7 years. It made me wince... for a moment and then it generated some memories of that fateful day.

Although I live in NYC now, I was living in Austin,TX on that day. However, the impact was one of the strongest experiences of my lifetime. First, my sister has lived in NY for 30 years. Frankly, she's the first person I called. Fortunately, she was NOT there that day, but was in WI, visiting a friend. Then, being alone in my house in the far suburbs (actually out in the country) outside of Austin, I called my husband and then my son -- they were both in Austin. My husband was at work; my son (the musician) was sleeping. They were both okay... thank God. Now, you might wonder why I would be worried about their well-being. Well, as I watched the horror on Good Morning America, the local news jumped in to alert Austin that it was a "target" because it's the capital of TX and home to President Bush. They were evacuating government offices and then telling everyone else to stay off the roads and not drive home.

My husband had put his car in the shop the night before and had my car that day. I was scheduled to work at home. So, there I was, alone, far away from anyone I loved, wondering if the world would come to an end that day. I was pacing, frantic, on the phone to anyone that served as a lifeline ... glued to TV for each new piece of news.

NOTE: I think we ALL suffer from Post Traumatic Shock from seeing the videos of those planes hitting the towers, the towers going down, people jumping out, etc. They are etched. In fact, within weeks of moving to NY, I was sitting in my apartment when I heard a loud plane fly by. This was unusual, because planes don't fly low over NYC since that event. I panicked momentarily (that's how Post traumatic stress works .... you're easily triggered.) It was an airforce jet ... it was fleet week in NYC, but I didn't know.)

Anyhow, that week of September 11th is blur. As a clinical social work therapist, all I wanted to do was fly to NY and be of service and help with the families. There were no flights AND after that I had too many work commitments get in the way. I always felt guilty for not helping.

But, here's the purpose of this column today. It was September 11th that was the catalyst for my entire Re-Invention of my life. My lesson that day became my motto:
"Life is way too short ... to be unhappy." It was within weeks of that day that I finally told my husband that I wanted to separate. We'd been unhappy for many years and had just fallen into complacency. it was time for us to go separate ways and search for what might be more fulfilling.

That was the beginning of my life now ... which is dedicated to YOU ... to helping each of you figure out what you yearn for, how to get it and to reach fulfillment.
Please don't misunderstand -- I'm not telling anyone to get divorced. That's what I needed. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be living in NY. I wouldn't have this company. I wouldn't be writing a book that will inspire others to Re-Invent, etc.

What decisions do you have to make ... that will add joy, happiness, contentment and fulfillment to your life for the rest of your life? What are you waiting for?

We don't have tremendous losses of lives from things like 9/11 and the War ... only for you to be complacent. It's time to WAKE UP ... be of service to others, contribute to the world being a better place, tap into your talents and LIVE life to the fullest.

Point: Make this the year, the month, maybe even the day that you make some decisions to improve the quality of your life! I urge you. You and all your loved ones will be happier for it.

And, I'm here if you need me. Have a wonderful week.

I'm off to San Francisco on Sept. 11th to begin an amazing course called Power & Contribution. It's a one-year course, where I will be gathering with 130 people from all over the world. We will meet every other month for a long weekend in S.F. Each of us will take on an "impossible promise" for the world -- in other words, each will take on a huge project to truly make a difference. Not sure what my promise will be yet, although I know it will have something to do with people being passionate and fulfilled and aging with dignity. (I'm sure I'll be writing about it all as it goes on this year.)

Til next time,
Ann

Random Thoughts on a Sunday

Good Sunday morning,
It's a gorgeous day in NYC ... and I'll be in all day... working.
Just to catch you up on the busy schedule of an aging boomer. Remember, I don't ever intend to retire ... I LOVE my life and all the things I get to do.The price to be paid for that -- sometimes I'm busier than I can shake a stick at. And, I consider myself a "balance and stress management" expert ... so even when I'm busy, I try to take time to play.

Yesterday, a gorgeous Saturday, I got up, took myself to breakfast, then cut from the Westside to the Eastside of NY and walked for an hour down Park Avenue. (For 3 Saturdays in a row, Park Avenue has been shut off from cars from 9-1 so people can bike, skate and walk nearly the length of the city.) Then, exhausted, I slithered into a movie theater, ate popcorn, drank a coke (yes, a weakness), watched a movie and most importantly, rested my tired knees. Following that, I went home, cleaned up and met a friend for dinner. So, I "played" all day.

Today, I get to work all day! I'll be teaching two courses in the Professional Studies department at NYU this semester (yes, I'm proud of that.) So, today is the day I create the syllabi for those courses. And, if I get it done, my reward is to go dancing tonight. If not, I'll be home working. Period.

Point: Always get done what you commit to doing AND try to do it in a timely enough way that you reward yourself with some fun and or relaxation! Balance is the key.

On another note, I've had the television on in the background (and will probably sneak out and buy the NY Times Sunday paper.) It's an exciting time... political conventions are kicking off, campaigns are heating up. Wow. What a monumentally important time.

We have a young boomer (47) running and he's the first Afro-American to run for president. And, he's selected a senior (65? I think) to run with him to balance the team.
We have a senior (72) running for president frantically trying to decide on the "best" running mate...but the lead option is a boomer.
I've watched George Stepanopoulis this morning and 1/2 of Meet the Press. The news is all atwitter about all this. The sparks are flying, the negative campaign ads are airing.
Get ready for 2 full months of this stuff .. hard and nasty.

The most important thing here: no matter what your party and beliefs, there are some vitally important issues to cover. Make sure you keep your candidates accountable for these issues. Write them, call them out. Work with groups you want to help have a greater impact. In other words, don't shut down .. but rather, as a boomer, make your voice known.

As a boomer, I'm concerned about Health Care, the Economy (housing, jobs), the Environment. I want to see the war dwindle down and our troops home. I think I represent what we all care about. I know we agree, at the very least, that we'd like the future to be better for our children/ grandchildren. The important thing is ... who will understand our issues and be the most proactive in addressing them. That's where you come in. Support your candidate and in the areas where you might differ with them, tell them what you want.

Point: In this political campaign... BE INVOLVED. Don't sit back. Make sure you ask the important questions, keep the candidates accountable and by all means ... VOTE.
And, maybe you want to make some personal changes in your spending and your contributions to causes your believe in.

So, that's where I am on a Sunday .... working, thinking Presidential thoughts.
Where are you? Wherever you are... just make it a great day!
Ann

Election Buzz

Now, I have no intention of telling anyone who to vote for. That's an entirely personal decision for each of us to make. I'm also not going to tell you who I'm going to vote for. That's private.

But tonight, I went to see Swing Vote, with Kevin Costner. I like him, I wanted a laugh and movies are always great therapy for me when I am stressed out.

The movie is not an academy award quality film, to say the least. Kevin Costner seems to be playing an idiotic man (again) ... he's played that sort of role before. The young actress who plays his daughter is wonderful and amazing. She's definitely on her way to stardom.

If you haven't seen the previews, let me clue you in. The presidential election occurs in November .... except that the ballot of one voter (you know who) never went through because of an electricity glitch. The voter officials call upon him to have to "revote" within 10 days. The ENTIRE election hinged on him.
So, now the President (running for re-election) and his openent show up to push for his vote. The little town becomes a zoo of papparazzi, reporters, and more.

The saving grace of the movie is what it tells us about our candidates and how they will do anything to WIN. They both woo him-- change their positions just to please him so he'll vote for them, they'll wine him and dine him. It was farcical and funny BUT a bit uncomfortable to consider.

Will we ever have an election where we get to truly know what the candidates stand for? Will they forever change their positions just for votes OR will they consistently stand for their positions?

I don't know about you, but I am so sick of the election process at this point. I hardly watch or listen any longer. I hate the negative campaigning ... more interest in tearing the other person apart then in actually sharing where they stand on the issues. And, I'm really tired of the press -- in my book -- they are capable of pushing the election to support whatever candidate.

Will I vote, of course I will. Will my vote count? I doubt it? Am I cynical / skeptical? You bet.I'm a boomer, with integrity and a commitment to be involved in the future of my county. But, it doesn't mean I have to like the process.

Just my two cents.
I welcome yours.
Have a great weekend.
Ann

Mama Mia --- A Fun Movie for Boomers

I just went to see the Mama Mia movie tonight... loved it. Now, first, I must admit, it's hokey and probably a woman's movie. I saw the play on Broadway and enjoyed that too. It's always weird to see a musical completely adapted into a movie ... but once you get past that, this is great, especially the music. Now, if you weren't around in the 60's and 70's or if you blinked, then you missed Abba. Mama Mia has given them a whole new audience.

What was really fun watching this tonight was that it stars Meryl Streep, one of the finest actresses of her time. Here she is singing and dancing and gyrating sex appeal... and she's in her 50's. It also stars Pierce Brosnan as one of her lovers... he's well in his 50's. There are several others ... all boomers. They sing, are sexy, dance. I love how we/boomers show up in this movie. We are vibrant, full of life, attractive. There's lots of kissy-face.

Kids might watch this and say "yuck .. they're old" ... but we will relish every moment.

Point: No matter what your age, you are still sexy, vibrant, funny and alive with spirit ... if you want to be.

Don't be afraid to flaunt your sexuality and your beauty. Don't let anyone else put parameters or boundaries or limitations on you being youthful and sexy. You have just as much right as anyone else. And, make sure you support the theater and films that give this message out as well. Spend your money to support our cause.

So, go out and see Mama Mia. Be ready to bounce in your seat. You won't be able to sit still. Be prepared to laugh and to cry.. and just know that you will leave the theater happy. Then, go out in the street just proud to be who you are.

We boomers rock!!!
Have a wonderful mid-week.
Ann

The Beauty of ReInvention in the Boomer years

Good Sunday morning to you,
Well, it is 11:40 a.m. and I have just returned from a long walk along the Hudson River here in NYC. For those of you who don't know me, I "reinvented myself" 2 years and 4 months ago (but who's counting). I moved to NYC, the city of my dreams, where I've always wanted to live. It's been an interesting journey, to say the least. But, one that has made all the difference to my life.

Take this morning , for example. I awoke in my cute little apartment in NYC, got dressed, got on the subway to head downtown. I got off at Houston Street and walked West to the Westside Hwy, crossed it and then walked along the Hudson River, dividing NY and NJ. It's a gorgeous walk. I walked downtown, towards Battery Park, which is at the tip of Manhattan Island. When I got closer to my destination, I just had to stop. It took my breath away --- As I stood, facing west, along the railing, I looked ahead and saw the lovely skyline of Jersey just across the river. To my immediate far left, I caught a view of Staten Island... and there, just in front of it, a perfect view of Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. The boats and ferries were crossing, the water was clear, the weather was sunny and the sky blue. It was an amazing moment.

Now, this is not the first time I've walked here or viewed this, and each time I marvel at how far I've come in my ReInvention.
(Lest you wonder, you'll be able to read all about my story in my book, due out late Fall, entitled "60, Sexy, Sassy and Free: Living Life on My Terms.)
Let's just say this. My first year was scary, my second a challenge and now, I'm reaping the rewards of my new life. I'm happier (even tho a little lonely at times). I have more work, I'm in the final phase of writing my book. I have so many amazing opportunities. I am getting very physically healthy -- having just recently lost 9 pounds (with at least 11 more to go) and I walk or work out nearly everyday. I feel fantastic.

Now, would that have happened where I lived before? Maybe.But NY forces you to be outdoors and to walk all over .. and up and down subway stairs, etc. It's pushed me to confront my limits and to be open to many new things.

Point: When we do something different and outside our comfort zone, with the goal of having life on our terms ... the results can be amazing IF you're willing to do whatever it takes.

As aging boomers, we can have the time of our lives. Our children are independent, we're mostly settled in our work/careers OR ready to retire and try new things. And, many of us are healthy enough to take on more.

I'm living my dream. I'm hoping you are at least considering living your dream... whatever it may be.

Have a fabulous weekend.
Ann

Independence Day Thoughts ... One Day Later

Yesterday was the Fourth of July... an important day to all of us. We live in a country that affords us freedoms that we take for granted. Once a year, however, it's important to remember how lucky we really are.

This isn't a sappy Patriotic statement, but said more from the standpoint of our personal everyday opportunities.

We have so many chances to do what we want in life. We can work for others, work for ourselves. We can live in houses or apartments or in communes, or cities or in the country. If we have a lot of money, we can live in more than one place. Now, before you get on your high horse, I'm talking about opportunities that I know are NOT available to everyone ... but not because they don't have the freedom. The down side is we are still a "class" system and there are many who don't feel the freedom and are barely able to survive. I am a social worker, I know that. And, I do what I can to help there, when I can -- to help people get a leg up so they feel they have more choices.

We also have an abundance of choices in the realm of what we can purchase and what we can do with it. We can shop in millions of stores, buy things from all over the world. We are far from limited in any way.

And, we can choose our lifestyles -- our sexual lifestyles, without fear of retribution (well, in most parts of the country), our fashion styles, the colors we paint our homes (except where neiborhood associations prohibit that), our use of language.We can choose to live where we need a car or where we can rely on public transportation. We cn choose to recycle or not (although we "should").

You get my drift. We live in a country where we have many chances to express ourselves and to be FREE. We can thank our forefathers for that, as well as many who followed them and passed legislation that fostered our continued growth.

I am grateful for my life. I am young for my years, I am healthy, I can buy whatever I need to help me be more attractive. I choose to live in NY, without a car -- doing my part to help the environment. I recycle all that I can. I volunteer to help others. I position myself in such a way that my voice sometimes inspires other.
Life can't be much better than this .... well... not entirely.
There are some things missing still: I'd love to be in a fabulous relationship with an amazing man, I'd love to have a bit more disposable income, I'd love to travel and explore this world more.

So, I urge you this weekend to look at the freedoms you have AND to acknowledge what you are grateful for. And, lastly, in the words of John Kennedy, "ask not what your country can do for you ... but what you can do for your country!" How can you volunteer in ways that use your talents to be of service to others. The right to volunteer is another of our freedoms. And, as baby boomers, volunteering is in our DNA.

Have a fabulous weekend.
Ann

The Hula Hoop Experience

Morning,
I just read that it's the 50th anniversary of the invention of the hula hoop. (See story here: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2008/06/post-2.html
All I can say is WOW! Sometimes I feel really old.... but that's not my focus here.

I remember playing with my hula hoop for hours. And, I remember being good at it back then. I tried it a few times in recent months -- don't remember where or with whom. But, it wasn't as easy. That's a mystery though. My hips are definitely more defined (that's a nice way of saying it) now, with more of a groove between them and my waist, so why didn't it work as well? I don't think my rhythm has changed.. so what's the deal? When was the last time you took on a hula hoop ... and how did you do?

The larger issue is -- how much do you allow yourself to play? What do you do to create the laughs and chuckles? There's two parts to the hula hoop kind of experience. There's the fun factor and there's the physical/exercise factor.

Many of us boomers have discovered exercise. Many of us either hate or love it, but we do it because we want to be healthier or skinnier or for acceptance or to impress someone -- who knows. But, are we also connected to FUN?

I'm lucky. My work is fun... literally. Companies hire me to bring fun into the workplace. That's the focus of my company Humor University. But, the reason I started doing that sort of work is because I have a very playful side of myself that isn't happy when I'm not having fun. So, fun is important. (How many more times or ways can I say that?)

Last night, my girlfriend Tina came over to my apartment. We cooked a great, healthy vege pasta together. Then, we went to a pub in the Times Square area for Zydeco dancing. The band was definitely cajun, the music lively and the room packed.... with mostly BABY BOOMERS. We danced the night away. What a blast. I love to go dancing. The Zydeco experience is maybe twice a month, but every Wednesday night there's a 12-person swing band at a club on the Upper Westside that plays just for a boomer and above group. It's awesome. And, let's not forget, dancing carries with it the physical and the FUN.

Today, for fun, I'm taking the subway downtown... way downtown and then starting to walk back uptown along the Hudson River. It will be hot, probably crowded, but that walk is beautiful and much more fun then the treadmill at the gym.

What are you doing for fun today. If you're having any trouble figuring out how to do it, watch some kids playing at the playground and remember how it was to be young and playful.
Have a wonderful Saturday.

It's Not the Economy Stupid

Morning,
I expect I'll be ranting here a bit, but then I'll have some solutions or at least ideas.
First, more than ever before, I realize how much the constant news feeds the "worry frenzy." I visited my sister last week and while staying with them, they had the news on ALL DAY LONG. It was CNN and MSNBC -- and they continually talked about all that is "wrong" with the world -- from the political stuff, to the enconomy, to the bad weather trends, to who knows what. There were no positive stories -- only anxiety-producing material.

Now, I also know that some people accuse me of wanting to stick my head in the sand and NOT face some of the reality. Hey -- it's better than doing drugs -- I'll put my head in the sand as long as I can breathe.

I realized that when I hear all this How Bad it is stuff -- I get anxious. And the only reason I hear it is because of the media frenzy that highlights it.
When I'm at home, I watch the morning news or check online just to see if there's anything important to know about and to get the weather report. After that, it's quiet while I work ... or maybe I play background music.

Are there some challenges about the economy how? Yes ... of course. Have we seen economic challenges before? Yes, ... of course. Have we overcomed, moved through, moved on past them before? Yes.... of course. Will we again? Yes.... of course.
It's NOT the ECONOMY --- it's the frenzy.

Instead of talking about how expensive gas is, why don't we report on solutions or things each one of us can do individaully? Like, carpool, take trains or buses. How about working an hour or 45 minutes extra each day so that one of the 10 days in a two week period could be done from home? Wouldn't even not driving one day make a difference? How about people consolidating their errands to conserve drive time? How about families working together about how to consolidate or take public transportation together (where possible). It's back down to what can each of us do?

In other aspects of the economy -- food prices for example. How about people start eating at home more? How about families coming together with potluck meals... more sharing and stretching to make food go further. These are great idea and great for building family connections as well.

The point: Each of us can take personal responsibility to do things a little differently in order to impact our own pocketbooks. Boomers are great at this -- we are the acitivists from the 60's and 70's -- let's remember how we loved to make a difference and tap back into that spirit.

And my last point --- what have you done for someone else lately? You know, when you spend all your time whining about how bad it is for you, you forget that it's much worse for others. How about a commitment to volunteering in some way -- as a work team or as a family team -- to help those less fortunate. The upside -- it helps them, of course, but it also helps you. There's no better cure for depression (except "legal, prescribed" drugs maybe) than getting outside of yourself and being of service to others.

Boomers -- align. Go out and do some good.
End of rant.

Election Lessons

Howdy on this warm Saturday afternoon in NY.

I realized today, as Hillary Clinton formally stepped aside to Barack Obama, that there are so many wonderful lessons we can take from this experience... as boomers and just as human beings.
1. When you really, really want something, you MUST, no matter what, go for it. Hillary has had the dream of running for President since she was a young adult. Obama, although much younger, has had the dream as well. John McCain, from decades past, has always had the desire and even though he was struck down before, he is going for it again.
2. Don't let anyone else try to dissuade you from going after what that is that you want. Don't let anyone burst your bubble. There have been and will always be those folks that tell you all the reasons why it's a bad idea and why you shouldn't go for it. Tell them to go stick their criticism where the sun don't shine -- give them no "buy in."
3. No matter what sex or age you are -- you're a viable person to lead! This is so monumental and yet so clear that I don't need to add to it.
4. When what you want doesn't work out, bow out gracefully! Regardless of whether or not you supported Hillary, she did something that is historic -- the first woman to run on a major platform. How dare people not allow her a few extra days to grieve, pull it together and then, when ready announce her intentions for what's next.
5. Stop criticizing all that is different about people and start acknowledging what we share in common and what we want for the common good. What if we became a nation of people that only acknowledged (even when we don't agree) rather than "tore down" others for how they differed. Could a campaign actually be run that way? What a concept.
6. Be proud to share your opinion and to debate with your friends and family -- everyone is entitled and has the constitutional right to do that. How awesome.
7. We saw the ages come together here and we were on the same page, working together side-by side. This primary attracted more voters than ever and that included many young ones. What if we could bring this inter-generational cooperation to the workplace and to our families. Wow!

Now I'm sure that in days to come, I'll think of many more lessons and applications to boomers, but for now, let me sum it up.
Both Hillary and Obama are boomers -- she had the upper end and he at the bottom end. But, they represent US. We, the 77+million of us are the main folks to vote -- we count. Let's never take that role lightly. Make your voice heard. There is history in the making and we're part of it. We will either have the Oldest man in office ever OR the first Afro-American man in office. It's cool! Boundaries are being broken.
Keep the momentum -- for just a few more months.

I know I'll continue to tire of the debates, the ads that cut each other down, the news being dominated by all this. But, if I can remember that we have the right to select in this process and that I can speak my mind and cast my vote ... I won't complain much.

Have a glorious weekend.
Ann

Getting in Shape

Good Monday morning,
Well, I've truly made the commitment -- it's time to get in shape. I'm tired of feeling droopy, saggy, chubby and all that goes along with it. Now, I've been tired of it for a long time, so why now?

Who knows what brings us around to the "right time" for anything. Maybe it's an ad we see, or something someone says, or one more glance in the mirror.It doesn't matter.

So, here's what I am committed to and I invite you to make your own plan.
1. I've found a chiropractor/kinesiologist -- we'll have regular visits, which also include meal planning, detoxing, etc.
2. I'll be eating healthy meals -- following the plan and cooking in more, rather than always eating out.
3. I'll be walking for a minimum of 45 minutes at least 5 days a week. (I might even try riding a bike again... who knows.)
4. I'll be dancing as often as possible ... at least 2 x per month (and maybe I'll take some lessons too)
5. Although I have a gym membership -- I rarely use it, but might get myself back in there.
6. I'm enrolling my friends to keep me focused on the goal --- to firm up, lose at least 20 pounds and look fabulous and feel good.

So, come on and join me. This Head Boomer needs to look "hot" for the jacket cover of my book .... coming out this Fall.

Have a great week.
Ann

Sex in the City

Wow, I just saw the new Sex in the City movie. It was terrific. It truly made me laugh and cry... all within 2 1/2 hours. It hit home in many ways, hitting on all the big issues we have as women. And, of course, because I live in NY, it seems more real.

I was never a regular viewer until the last year. And, I've caught many reruns over the years. I love the characters -- especially their vulnerability. We really get to know them.

So, back to the movie last night. First, I expected the viewers to be noisy and involved, but you could hear a pin drop (except for the times we cackled.) The story was so packed full and brought everything to completion.We would be fine if there was never another episode AND, there are definitely jumping off points if they want to do another.

The highlight for me, as a boomer -- Carrie is 40 and Samantha reaches her 50th birthday. She is so gorgeous and sexy and outrageous. Of course she's 10 years (actually 12 years) younger then me -- but a boomer. She's my idol. She is so sexual and in touch with her body and her desires. She's gutsy beyond belief -- saying whatever needs to be said. In fact, we get insight into what she's like when she suppresses -- and it's not good.

Point: Be who you are -- no matter what. Don't try to be anyone else.

Point: Even women who seemingly have it all together -- money, status, etc ... they still experience disappointments and have to learn to handle them.

Point: Getting older can still let you be vibrant, amazing, beautiful and sexy.

To celebrate the beauty of womanhood and sexuality, I recommend you grab your girlfriends and go see this movie. Then, go out to dinner or for a drink and talk about it. It's rich.

As for you men -- there were several of you in the audience -- they liked it too. AND, we see some very vulnerable men in the characters in the film.So there's something there for you to learn too.

Have a wonderful Sunday.
Ann

Sometimes You Just Don't Know

Morning,
"Sometimes life comes at you fast." I heard those words on a funny commercial on TV. I know it's true. You can be bopping along, things can be great, and then, Wham (clap of your hands) ... things change on a dime.

Now, at the risk of sounding too "new age," according to astrologists, Mercury is in Retrograde. What the heck does that mean? Well, it means things are unpredictable and often it feels like you have little control over what happens around you. For example, a description of Mercury in Retrograde says: Businesses, travels and communications tend to experience delays and different problems. Computers and other processes that work with information may experience crashes, unexpected failures.Don't enroll in courses, don't buy expensive Mercurian items (books, cars, mobile phones etc.), don't sign important contracts and do not marry.
The descriptions online offer many "warnings." Well, I don't like to really buy into this thinking .... But, the last few days have been interesting.
1. Two emails that I absolutely sent were never received by the recipients AND they are no where to be found on my computer (would usually be in my SENT box). They disappeared. In one case -- not a bad thing. I sent an angry email and now I'm glad it wasn't received.
2. A huge contract I had coming up in June was cancelled -- just all of a sudden. It devastated me. They blamed it on "the economy" .. e.g. not enough registrants for this conference. And, interestingly, they had never signed my contract. As a speaker, I send a contract and insist on 1/2 down on my fee in advance. I was slack about it ... knew they were doing something new and innovative on a shoestring... so... I'm out.
3. My son thought he had a really good "gig" lined up and it just fell apart.

These are examples of how Mercury in Retrograde works. Expect the unexpected. It makes me sort of want to do nothing, withdraw, be fearful, but I know those strategies won't work.

So, what do you do? Well, with my thinking cap on, using my sense of humor and my best coaching skills, here are a few thoughts:
1. Use the time to regroup -- take time daily to rethink where you are, where you want to be and what you think some good steps might be --- BUT DON'T DO ANYTHING (until Mercury is out of Retrograde -- on June 19th) * By the way, the next retrograde is in September .... so DO things between June 19th and September 24th.
2. As you're regrouping -- do it in fun places -- walk outside, go to a park, ride a bicycle, have a glass of wine in a trendy bar and enjoy the "scenery."
3. Whenever anyone mentions the state of the economy -- thank them for sharing but DON'T BUY INTO IT. You don't want to focus your thinking on the negative thoughts of the economy ..... it doesn't have to effect you or be true at all if we keep our thoughts positive.
4. Spend time with friends and family ... having FUN. Give yourself some breaks and DON"T PUSH yourself too hard. Relax

So, life comes at you fast. You feel like you can't control it BUT, you CAN control your reaction to it.
Have a wonderful weekend.

Ann

A Trapeze experience

My good friend Judy spent her Mother's Day on a flying trapeze. I, was there to be proud, supportive and just to watch. Now, it's not that I was afraid ... I might actually do it someday. But, my purpose that day was to support her.
And now, for the rest of the story.
You know that I'm a boomer Adventurer -- moved cross country at 60, starting over, yada, yada, yada. Well, it's part of my purpose now to help other boomers engage in their stories.
Judy has had a couple of tough years -- you know, "sandwich generation" issues -- her elderly Mother was quite ill, then passed on -- a hard experience for Judy. Then her daughter, just a couple years out of college had some challenges .. but is doing fine. You know, it's always something.
Well Judy, one of my very, very best friends is ALWAYS there for me. When I'm having a hard time with the "starting over" part of my life .. I call her first. I talk, she listens, she talks, I listen, etc.
So, when she told me she wanted to talk a Flying Trapeze lesson for her 60th birthday celebration, I shouted "Yahoo... you go girl." The hardest part was finding a time to do it when I might also be able to fly into Austin to be there and I was really disappointed that I might not be able to.
Well, it all worked out. She planned it for Mother's Day weekend. My son, who still lives in Austin, had a CD Release party that weekend and, hooray -- I got to go for both.

It was exhilarating to watch Judy. The truth -- she has an "issue" with heights. But, she didn't let anything stop her. Shaking like a leaf (after only a 1/2 hour of instruction -- verbally), she climbed that ladder up to the very high platform... then, she grabbed that trapeze and she did exactly what they instructed her to do. Then, after others went, she did it again and then lastly, she climbed, grabbed the trapeze and jumped to the hands of the trainer on the next trapeze who caught her ... Wow!!
She continued shaking for 2 more hours.

Fortunately, we all went out to dinner together. She drank a bit of wine and I think the shaking subsided -- or at least she didn't notice it any more.
Now, what does this story have to do with anything?
Well, what adventures have you taken lately? What are you still yearning to do that you haven't done yet? When might you think about GOING FOR IT?!
Think about it, plan it, ask for support ... do it.Then, sit back and be so fu....ing proud of yourself for your accomplishment! Wow
Point: Don't die with your dreams still inside you AND don't NOT do what you've always dreamed of doing AND don't let anyone else stop you. Go for it NOW!

Congrats to Judy. Thank you for the privilege of letting me share this awesome experience with you. I'm so proud of you. Now, onward to whatever is next.
Happy dreaming and doing everyone.
Ann

Thoughts on Memorial Day

Good morning,
From where I sit and look out my window, it's a gorgeous day in New York City. The sun is shining and the temperature is perfect. Soon, I'll leave the inside for a walk along the Hudson River, 2 blocks from my apartment.
For others, today, it's a day of remembrance. Many served in various wars and many had their loved ones serve. And, we cannot deny the many who succumbed to the wars, including the present war. Their families will be honoring their losses today. And, for those who served and returned, they too will honor their experience.

As the "head boomer" ... born on the first day of the boomer generation, WWII was already over. I didn't know anyone who served in Korea, at least not to my knowledge; however, I knew people who served in Viet Nam. In fact, my college boyfriend was a medic. We wrote everyday for a year. Thankfully, he made it back, we broke up. Then, about 3 years ago, we found each other on the internet and have become friends. Interesting!

I'm not going to write here now of my opinions of war. Suffice it to say that I was a "typical" 60's generation person who protested, BUT, I was very conflicted. I was against the war in Viet Nam, but I wore a prisoner of war bracelet. Then, in the eearly 70's, I moved to Japan, compliments of the Dept. Of Defense Overseas Teaching Program and taught elementary and special education to military kids at Camp Zama . I had two wonderful years there. The interesting thing about Camp Zama was that it was the Army Headquarters for the region AND it housed the hospital where all severely wounded soldiers were sent to heal. I even dated some of those boys. Needless to say, I was very conflicted. I opposed the war, but supported the troops and I taught the children of many who served. In it's own way, all that influenced me to return back to the States and get my Social Work degree and then practice psychotherapy for 30 years. It was my way of dealing with human suffering, conflict and more.

So, while we all honor those lost today, we get in touch with how their sacrifice impacted our lives ... and maybe contributed to who we are today. For that, I lift my hat in thanks!

I intend to spend the day ... first walking outside, enjoying Nature. Then, I'll have a serendipitous day -- it's unplanned and I'll see where my walks take me.
I wish you the sort of day that will feed your soul, honor your loved ones and help you see all that you have and can be grateful for.
Ann

How Can I Be So Enlightened AND So Stupid at the Same Time?

Do you ever feel like you've done a lot of work on yourself -- that you're evolving, that you're spiritual, that you're on that road to enlightenment AND yet..... you make really stupid choices, behave in very non-enlightened ways, and feel you utterly suck at this whole growth thing?
Well, I do.

Over the last dozen or so years, I've made strides. I have good integrity, I take responsibility for my actions, I practice non-attachment (well some), I use the processes of intentionality and attraction. I'm a good person. It's been an arduous climb and one I'm very much still on. I've never felt that I mastered these ideals, but I feel I'm definitely on the journey. I also feel I have age and wisdom and experience on my side.

But then, life happens and I still react in old ways and cause lots of messiness in my relationships. I get dramatic, I judge (particularly myself), I whine, I get pessimistic and I doubt and question everything. What's a girl to do?

I suppose the clue here is: be gentle with myself ... know that as a human being I won't have it all together all the time. And, then, too, of course .... make better choices OR catch my poor choices earlier, as in more quickly. That would be a good one.

Point: Don't expect yourself to be perfect all the time. Do your best, love yourself, utilize your experiences to help you grow and know that everything, absolutely everything, is an opportunity to grow and learn and evolve.

From a practical standpoint ... this speaks to a sense of purpose and fulfillment. To best know yourself you need to be open to evolving and growing. Then, you'll be in a position to find what fulfills you, what gives you juice and how you want to spend the rest of your wild and crazy life. Happy searching boomers.

Funny How Life Is

Good Morning,
Well, I am back from traveling more .. in fact, a bunch. I'm exhausted. I've missed entering here and have lots to talk about.
I'll be back here much more often again.

My thoughts this morning are interesting. I ended my new relationship of 3 months. I thought it was going to be "it!" It wasn't. In fact, it was a challenge in an area I didn't expect. I thought I had mastered the art of being powerful and self-expressed. What I realized in the past few weeks was how much I still do what I used to do -- I gave up much of myself to be who he wanted me to be. Amazing. All this growth and progress I've made and I let it go to be with someone.

Well, not anymore. From this day forward, when I see myself shrinking back or trying to be someone for someone else ... I'm outta there. I remember when I divorced, I said to myself, "I'd rather be alone than continue to be in a relationship where I'm not appreciated or I can't be myself." Well, I don't want to be alone AND I'm not suggesting I want to dominate. I just want a mutually respectful relationship where we honor our differences and share our similarities and where we don't make each other wrong. Is that too much to ask for? I think not.

So, how many of you do what I did? I heard on GMA this morning that single women in this country are now 51% of the population. Unbelievable. Maybe we don't need relationship, but maybe we want relationship. I do. And, I'm fine on my own, and strong, and more.

Point: Love who you are, be who you are and don't let anyone else try to change you... unless you want to make some improvements and have support to do it. And, accept how funny life is in giving you incredible lessons to learn.

Have a glorious day. I'll be back soon.
Ann

He insinuated that I was YOUNG

Well, believe it or not ... I"m back. I've been traveling all over, being crazy busy and just haven't taken time to write. I miss this process; so here I am.
I hope you're enjoying the beautiful Spring that is upon us. I can't guarantee that it's all over the country; but it's here in NYC and I'm loving it. So, I went outside this morning to run some errands and do some shopping. All the stores are outside here -- no indoor malls. So, when you're shopping you get to be outside walking between stores or subways to get to stores.

I went to a shoe store and it was mobbed. It's one of those wonderful shoe stores that carries healthy shoes (European and expensive). I tried on about a dozen pairs. At one point I checked out a pair that looked really comfy and the salesman looked at me and said, "no ... you can buy that in about 20 years... but not now." He was insinuating that it was "an old lady" shoe. I loved it. I told him I agreed and put it down. Now, he had no reason to say that. it could have even cost him a sale. He was being complimentary and I guess that's good for selling. He did sell me two other pairs -- one of which was probably more than I've ever spent on a pair of shoes before.

Point: One person's positive comment to me that acknowledged that I looked young made my day.
I'm lucky. I don't really look (nor act) my age. People are often shocked when they read that I was born in '46 and that I'm 62. Truly, I'm shocked too. Maybe it's the family genes; however, in some ways I hope not. Although my parents might have looked young, they both died young. I certainly don't want to experience that.
Truly, I think it's my attitude. I refuse to be old. My body feels old sometimes, my wrinkles are increasing, my energy isn't what it used to be; however, I still feel young.

What do you do to contribute to people's perception of your age? Do you stretch your attitude and experiences and keep on learning and trying new things? Are you playful and fun? Do you smile a lot? All of that helps.
I say we all take on being as youthful as we can... within moderation, of course. I don't think it's appropriate for us to wear hot pants and platform shoes. However, we can look elegant and attractive (especially when casual). But, most importantly put on the attitude of a young person. Life is a blast. Enjoy it.
Have a wonderful weekend.

A week in the life of this boomer AND the news

Wow,
What a week. The ups and downs both personally and in the news. Amazing how much can happen within a short time frame.
First, this boomer, meaning me. I traveled all last week. I spoke in Detroit, then twice in Houston, then in Abilene, TX and then spent a day in Austin, TX. I got stuck in several airports due to weather delays. To do a Keynote speech in Abilene on Friday morning, I had to fly to Midland. The people for whom I was speaking had to drive 3 hours to pick me up. I made it to the hotel at 2:30 in the morning, only to do an early morning keynote. But, I've never missed a speech. I ended up renting a car to drive from Abilene to Austin, rather than get stuck at yet another airport. Saturday night, I arrived back in NY at 2:00 a.m. and was finally safe and sound in my own bed at 3:30 a.m. But, I sure was glad to be home.
Point: Despite the setbacks, I was always willing to do whatever it takes to show up where I was committed to being. I was assertive, changed airlines, times, etc. to get where I needed to be. At times, I was unreasonable. It was all worth it.

Monday morning, I had knee surgery to repair a meniscal tear. It went well and I'm recovering nicely, but, it's still limiting my mobility for a few days. And, it's letting me listen to the news ... maybe more than I usually would. My sister came to NY to be my caretaker. I allowed myself to be taken care of.
Point: I was pretty exhausted going into the surgery, but I allowed myself the downtime and actually put my independence aside to let someone be there for me. I am getting better at asking for and accepting help. That's an important lesson for me.

Speaking of time for the news, however, I watched the whole debacle of Elliot Spitzer and the prostitution ring unfold. I was horrified. Let me explain.
Elliot Spitzer was an incredible prosecutor in NY. He put big people away for breaking laws. His popularity grew and he was elected Governor of the state in 2006. He was highly admired. Personally, I don't judge people for their individual behaviors and flaws. We all make mistakes and we all do things we're sorry for. In this case, however, he clearly broke several laws and he hypocritically engaged in activities he would generally have prosecuted others for. Given that, his only decision was to resign.
Now, putting on my old therapist's hat ... I see that he had some deep-seated needs to fulfill and he allowed his power to take him in directions not totally understandable to many of us. Is he a "sex addict?" Who knows. That's definitely not for me to judge. What I do observe, though, is that he engaged in activities without concern for the possible consequences and in the process lost his position and hurt his family and others. He caused a lot of shame. I feel deeply for him and for his family.

Now, why do I write about him? Well, first of all, he's newsworthy and he's a boomer. He's a young one (only 48). Is that relevant to anything? Who knows. Is there something we need to learn from his behavior? The boomers have been known for being somewhat self-serving. We were the generation of free sex and love and doing whatever made us feel good. Some of us have tempered that more to fit the constraints of society, our families and our lives. Evidently, he didn't. But, it doesn't make him a bad person. I hope he will learn about himself, get some help and then come back to us all with pearls of vision that will inspire us all.

Point: It's not so much our behavior, our poor judgements and our failings that count ... but rather, our ability to learn and redeem ourselves and pull ourselves back up. We don't live in the world in a vacuum. There are others to whom we are accountable. I hope I, and all of us, can remember that when we make some of the decisions we make along the way.

To Elliot: I wish him a way out and to his family I wish healing.
To all of us: I wish us an opportunity to learn from the experiences of others so that we might live full lives and be happy and contented with our directions.

Happy searching and growing for us all.
Ann

Divided we Fail

It's Sunday night and I'm in a beautiful little Bed and Breakfast in Detroit, Michigan. I'll be speaking at a conference in the morning; but for tonight, I'm relaxing and writing.

I just saw a bi-partisan video on www.dividedwefail.org
it speaks to the need for us to drop the pettiness of politics and urge our candidates to address the issues we're all concerned about -- Democrats, Republicans, young and old. There are some concerns sincerely needing attention: healthcare, the economy, the environment, the War, etc. Rather than making it party issues .. let's hold all candidates accountable for addressing the needs and make it issues for all.

Prior to viewing that site, I responded to yet another Boomer-related blog entry about how contentious the boomers are as a generation. We have lots of passion and lots of opinion to go along with that passion. We love to spout off and argue. Well, I don't know if we all do, but many of my peers and certainly "moi" ... loves to spout off.

I wonder sometimes if by being contentious I put people off rather than bringing them into alignment with me. Perhaps I need to listen more graciously and be more open to the thoughts of others. In the old days, when I was a psychotherapist, I was a superb listener. I wonder if I've lost that. I know I haven't lost my compassion, but have I lost my ability to really focus in on what others are saying.

Where is all this going? What's the point?
Point: For now, it appears that a key to everything is in how we "be" with another. If we "be" contentious, we'll get one outcome. But, if, however, we "be" compassionate and open and respectful with another, we'll get a different sort of outcome. If that's the truth, then we are certainly totally responsible for how things go in our life and the results we create across the board.
If we take that to politics, then perhaps the consideration is how we listen to those who have different ideas than we do rather than shutting down to them.

Point: I'm going to take on listening more openly and with less judgement. I'm inviting you to do the same. let's do it in all areas of our life. It's my intention to create more agreement than division.
Divided we Fail, Aligned we succeed.


Have a wonderful Monday. See you soon

Boomers RE-Inventing

Good evening everyone and I hope you had a fabulous weekend.

I happened to be on a phone call early this morning with a group I'm doing a seminar with. There were two men and two women.
An interesting phenomenon happened. Both of the women, upon hearing more about the work I do with baby boomers and re-invention, wanted to know more. One quit her job 6 months ago with the intention of not working for a year and figuring out what she really wants to do. The other has worked in the same industry for 30 years -- is wildly successful in her own business but is now looking at what's next, or what else she might do. I suggested the 3 of us meet for lunch or coffee and get to know each other better.

It made me realize how many zillions of baby boomers there are out there who want to re-invent but don't have a clue as to what, how, when, etc. Obviously there is much work to be done.

How do I, as one individual, reach out to these zillions and let them know I want to help? I mean, really -- I do want to help. I realize how lucky I am to do things I love. And, I know that so many people don't have that experience.

Even at the top of the boomer pack - turning 62, we are young and vibrant and still can do it all. Hillary Clinton is 60 and she's running for President. Look at the leaders of the top companies and the governmental leaders -- they're all boomers.

Last night, while watching the Oscars, I saw how fabulous Helen Mirren looked. She's 62, I think and she's radiant and full of talent.

So, what is it for you? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to work in an area you've never been involved with? Do you want to paint or act or write? Just make your list -- the list of all the things you've always had in your "someday, maybe" pocket. It's time to take it out of the pocket, dust it off and think about it for real.

You might be saying, "I don't wanna" ... do the work, take the risks, explain to those around me what I really want..If that's the case, join Susan Meyer and I for the "I Don't Wanna" teleclass. It'll be on March 12th at noon (EST). For one hour, we'll explore the I don't wannas that hold us back and how to navigate through them. To register, email me: ann@itsboomertime.com

Point: Don't die with your dreams inside you! Go for it!
I'm here for you. Feel free to contact me, ask me questions, post comments, etc.

Happy exploring.