Nearly Two Weeks of Shaping up

Well,
It's Sunday ... two days before the 2 week mark of my bootcamp workouts.
How am I doing? Not well. First, I haven't gained control of my eating yet. I'm still eating poorly ... well, not as badly as before, but still too much and still not all healthy.
Second, I'm walking a lot in between the workout... but probably not enough.
I'm walking around my apartment avoiding the mirror, feeling flabby and concerned that I'll never lose it. I'm wondering if I'll ever be thin again and all that goes along with that ... like, will I be attractive to men, will I ever feel confident about my body again? And, of course, will I be healthy?

I wonder if I'm becoming my Mother, who was heavy and never exercised or my older brother who died earlier this year ... very heavy and in bad shape. I don't want to copy this pattern.

I wonder what it will take for me to make this happen. Help???
I also wonder if my knee/leg hurting is related to the heavier body work I'm doing. That would be entirely unfair ... like, I finally start getting more physical and then I can't? Definitely not fair.

I think, well, if I was really in a relationship with a man... THEN I would be motivated to be thin. I know that's hogwash AND I also know that if a man is ONLY attracted to me for what I look like, I'd be insulted .. that would be small-minded. But, am I lying to myself? Sure, I definitely want to look good for a man.

I don't want to wait for a diagnosis of something that would then "demand" that I lose weight. I want to be proactive ... so again .. if anyone can help me with this, please......

Actually, I see this is a pattern in my life... it goes like this: Why is it that I don't do what I know I should do to get the results I want? It's a sabotage thing. Well, there you have it .. I'm not perfect.

I'd love your comments.
And, remember, I never, ever, ever give up ... so keep tuned.
Have a great week.
ann

Check out Joshua at www.mindovermatternyc.com

It's been a Week and a Day

Hi all,
Boy do I hurt. Yesterday was one week since I started my fitness routine and I gotta say ... I'm really hurting.

I walked to Central Park at 6:00 last night for my 6:30 workout. She worked us really hard and by the end, I was in agony .. my knee hurt, my feet hurt, my chest hurt. I practically limped home. Well, first I stopped at the grocery store to get some protein for dinner, came upstairs, took off my workout clothes and sneakers. My knee was blown up, so needed ice... with helped.

I awoke this morning and pumped myself full with Motrin and Glucosomine ... I mean, look, I knew I was going dancing tonight and a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And, to make it worse, I had plans to go to IKEA today and I knew that meant at least a couple of hours on my feet on a concrete floor ... then, dancing.

I might not be losing weight yet, I might be bitching and moaning and complaining ... but no matter what, I will continue.
Yes, I did go to IKEA ... the meds kicked in, so no problem.
I did go dancing ... forgot to take more meds and wow... didn't take long for the knee to swell up and my legs to ache. I did, not, however let that stopped me .. I kept on dancing. then, of course, I had to walk home.

It's late, I'm ready to go to bed and will take my ice pack into the bed with me.

Yes, it sounds like all I'm doing is complaining ... but the truth is...it's just a form of expression. And, the one thing you should all know about me is that I don't give up. I know I'll turn a corner (soon I hope) where I'm happy about working out. I'll start to see some results to reinforce it. I'll be dancing the "yahoo" dance where I'm excited and celebrating my looking good.

Keep tuned. Tomorrow I'll have time for a nice walk along the Hudson (unless it pours).

In other news ... I had my fourth date with a great guy. He's the one I went dancing with and to IKEA .... and he likes me. that's cool!!

Have a great couple of days.
Ann

Day 5 .... Getting Fit

Happy end of weekend,
Well, I went to my second bootcamp yesterday morning at Central Park. It was really tough. I did as much as I could and I limped home...my arthritic knee feeling the results of too much fitness. What can I say ... I'm not 25.. I'm 63. My body doesn't do all those things that many younger then me can do.

I don't bend, fold or contort that well. And, I breathe really hard when trying to run up and down the stairs at the Fountain in Central Park ... not to mention the push ups, etc. But, the important thing here .. I AM taking it on!!!

I followed up with eating everything in site ... burger, fries, chocolate cookies .. and that's after committing to my health counselor that I would change my eating habits.
What always happens when I commit to changing my food regimen is that I immediately go into deprivation ... I know the things I love will be removed from the OKAY list So I crave them more than ever. It's like a squirrel gathering his acorns ... just in case there won't be enough for the Winter .. only with me .. I eat it all, in ALL seasons!

My excuse: I don't do drugs, I hardly drink, I'm NOT having sex these days ... so DON'T take away my food. I mean, a girl's got to have some pleasure in life.

So, what to do?
I finally went to the grocery store today. I bought fruit, veges, healthy 7grain bread, and all the rest of the recommended foods. I stocked up. Now, the trick ... eat what's in my frig rather than eating poorer choices in restaurants.

Wish me well.

Meanwhile, I walked all over this city and I thought positive thoughts ... "I'm sexy, I'm happy, I'm open to being in love, I'm great, I'm successful, etc." I must admit the little hop in my step was greater with these thoughts.

So, I invite you to take on yourself ... commit to whatever you want to achieve.
Let's do it together.
Remember, I'm doing it with Joshua .... www.mindovermatternyc.com
Happy New week!!!
Thanks,
Ann

Day 2 of Getting Fit -- Ouch

Hi All,
Well, last night was the night I had my first workout at the bootcamp. It was really great and I felt very proud of myself.
I woke up this morning and barely felt any pain. it was my intention to go dancing tonight and get some momentum on this workout thing. But, the rain was awful, I was tired, so day 2... I was a slug.

Now, I have to report, that at 11:30 p.m. (about 28 hours after completing the workout) I HURT. MY muscles that spread across my chest from one armpit to the other .. wow! And, my calves. As long as I don't have to raise my arms, I'm fine. I'm going to go to bed early.

My trainer, Joshua, is excited to see how I do. As of this moment, I'm not happy with him. I mean, I never like those that hurt me. :) Seriously, he's excited to take me on and to see my progress.

Today I also agreed to start watching my diet. I had a session with a health counselor and agreed to start keeping a food diary tomorrow. I also agreed NOT to lie. So, I guess I'll have to either eat well so I feel good about telling the truth OR, I'll have to bear the burden of disclosing my putrid eating habits. Guess I'll see what comes out. Of course, I'll be starting that first day with a breakfast networking deal, a coffee business meeting, a fund-raising event at 6:00 and then a dinner date at 8:00. I'll be interested to see how I do. Cross your fingers for me that I'll make some good choices ...

Other than the getting healthy deal ... there's always the news. But, since I rarely read or listen to the news these days, I have little to react to.

Sad about the "lost" airplane that blew up. Seems there's more to this one then we see.
There's the story coming out tomorrow about Bernie Madoff's sons and their continued statements of knowing nothing. We'll see.
Conan O'Brien is doing night 3 as the new Tonight Show host.

Thaaaaat's all folks.
Have a great sleep.

Okay ... so I'm Taking it on ... My Fitness ... Ugh!

Hi Everyone,
So, for months I've been bitching and moaning about how chunky/ chubby I'm getting. And, of course that's all I've been doing. I haven't been taking any real action to change that concern. Well, I have taken action in the realm of eating ... but in the opposite way ... eating way too much.

But, I let me digress. About 14 months ago, I had knee surgery. It fixed the tear, which was great news. I was now able to walk much better, and without a lot of pain. While there was some residual arthritis, I was really motivated to get stronger and more fit. So, last Summer I was committed. I started walking .. a lot, not just city walking here in NYC, but speed walking along the Hudson River in Riverside Park. I also started eating in a more healthy way. Result: I lost 10 pounds and I felt sexier and healthier and had a lot more energy. That lasted from last March/April through the end of November. Then, along came holidays ... and Winter.

Suffice it to say, I ate too much, walked too little and have now noticed that I added that 10 pounds I lost back on, plus a couple more. Ugh!!! I feel sluggish, really chubby and don't have a lot of confidence about my sexual attractiveness because of it.

Now, back to the purpose here: I got an email about a Boot Camp for boomers that started tonight. Yup, every Tuesday night, along with other baby boomers here in Manhattan, we're meeting at the beautiful fountain in Central Park and participating in an excruciating hour of upper, lower body exercises plus lots of aerobic walks around the fountain in-between. It's killer and I know it will make a difference for me.

Now, for me to get to Central Park first is about a 25 minute walk ... then the one hour workout and then 25 minutes back. That's a lot. I worked muscles I didn't know I had ... and then some. I'm very confident that I will hate Joshua in the morning when I find it difficult to get out of bed. Now, it's nearly midnight and the pain hasn't set in yet, but he definitely promised us that it WILL show up.

I'm going to blog several times a week about this new adventure I've taken on .. The Bootcamp that will turn this 63 year old into a gorgeous, sexy creature so that men will be crawling all over me.

My previous excuse... "I don't do drugs, I hardly drink, I'm NOT having sex ... so don't take my food away from me"... will no longer work. In other words, I'll replace exercise as something pleasureable (granted that will take a bit of time) ... But, I'll have the hope that someday I'll have a sexy body once again ... sex-worthy .. and the need to eat will Go AWAY.

Keep tuned.I'll be tracking my progress with pictures and videos.
If you want more information (and if you live in NY) join me. Check Joshua out here: www.mindovermatternyc.com
Thanks
Ann