The Reality Hits .. and a New Purpose Arises

Good morning everyone.
I have always been a woman of principle and purpose. I've spent my entire life in service to others. It's in my bones and DNA. For God sake, I'm a social worker by profession ... caring for the downtrodden, the emotionally ailing, etc. Years ago I was president of the board for the local hospice, have donated lots of time to others, etc.

I call myself an "empath." Empaths are highly sensitive. This is the term commonly used in describing one's abilities (sensitivity) to another's emotions and feelings. Empaths have a deep sense of knowing that accompanies empathy and are often compassionate, considerate, and understanding of others.It's a positive trait and a burden .. because empaths tap into the pain in the world. I often suppress it just to keep my head above water.

The least amount of empathy I have is for myself .... well, now that has to change.

AT 4:00 yesterday afternoon... just 15 1/2 hours ago, my doctor told me I have breast cancer. I "took it like a man." You see, as a social worker... I always do great in the moment... handle a crisis with ease ... but then fall apart later.
I had the usual thoughts ... how could I? No one in my family has had this. OMG, how will I take care of myself? and then immediately sprung to okay...what do I have to do?

I held it together .. didn't cry. I called my sister and then I called my son -- my only child... the love of my life (he's 31) That was hard.. telling him.

I spent last evening with a wonderful gentleman caller (who I allowed to not be gentlemanly) and it was perfect. A strong, gallant man to hold me, let me know I was still whole and complete. I slept well.

At 7:00 this morning, I bolted out of bed, said my morning little mantra..."I"m a soul, I'm a child of God, I'm a stand for Peace and Positivity in the world." And then, my mind screamed .... "I have breast cancer." I burst into body-shaking crying... for a moment. (My coaching clients know that I only allow them a few minutes of whining at the beginning of a session .. and then we get down to business. So, how could I whine for more than that?)

Between walking from my bedroom into my bathroom to brush my teeth... I realized now that I have a new purpose in life ... ME... and BREAST CANCER. OMG, maybe this is my "next" reinvention. It certainly can be a hook for people to not just glance at their life .. but to straight-on demand that their life be what they wish.. because, as we know, we NEVER know what's next.

So, here's my new STAND (like, position, like cause) in life ....
I'm going to blog about this as much as possible ... in addition to all my other work.

People have always known me as courageous .. well, this is just the next corner to get around. I'll still SPEAK, COACH and WRITE... AND, I'll take on MY cancer.

I recently saw the movie Julie & Julia. Julie starts a one-year blog to cover her commitment to cook every one of Julia Child's recipes in a one-year period... and to write about it in her blog everyday.

I'm gonna do that. The HEAD BOOMER is taking on Cancer ... for herself and for you.
It totally fits into my commitment in life ... That all people are involved in the process of ReInventing themselves ... for happiness and fulfillment.


I had a session with a psychic about a year ago. I was in the process of writing my book of my own reinvention memoir... Sixty, Sexy, Sassy and Free. The psychic said...I see a series of 3 books. I couldn't imagine. Well, book #2 is nearly done ... it's the process of reinvention and it's called: When You Want Things to be Different .... 7 1/2 Steps to Transcend the Status Quo

Perhaps this blog will turn into book 3 ... as I represent the boomer population dealing with change or illness or whatever ... and STILL having amazing, productive, fulfilled lives.

So, stay tuned.
I can't promise I'll write everyday ... there might be days I'm in surgery, or throwing up ... I have no idea ... but I'll write as I can.... this blog will be my journal ... for ME ... and a gift for you... as you go through whatever you go through.

Welcome, please keep coming back. Please write comments or emails... I'll need to hear from you.

This morning I start the phone calls, to set up my MRI, my first appt with the surgeon, etc. I'm in "get it done" mode .... And, I'll pause to cry or scream along the way... whenever the mood hits me.

I love you,
ann

Day 4 ... and other news

Hi Everyone,
Well, it's 4 days since I committed to getting more fit and losing weight. How am I doing?

I had a very busy day yesterday ... early morning networking event, then a looong walk from that venue to Grand Central station to meet up for my next meeting. Then, a train back up town and a long walk to meet yet another person. Lots of street walking, but it was a beautiful day. I ate well early in the day, but sort of blew it later. I had a fundraising event, with great "starters" and brownies and a glass of wine. What can I say? Mea culpa! Then, a dinner date ... more, what can I say?

The biggest challenge for me is the eating out and being social. I never have more than a glass of white wine and I make fairly decent choices, but I know I could be much better.

I'll go to a bootcamp in the morning and that will be great... and the eating thing, well that will develop a bit more slowly as I begin to choose more wisely.

Meanwhile, I want you to know about Joshua ... he's young and fit and committed to helping "mature" people with his boomer bootcamps in Central Park, so if you live in NY, check him out. www.mindovermatternyc.com

On a sad note, a friend died suddenly of a heart attack and I'm heart sick. I fear I'm getting to the age where that will begin to happen more readily ... a motivator, for sure, to get healthier AND to live a life of fulfillment.

What will you choose today to live a more healthy and fulfilled life?

Have an awesome Friday, wherever you are.

Thanks,
Ann

Sunday in New York

Happy Sunday,
I was gone from NY for 2 weeks, and have now been back for 4 days. I love being back. NY is amazing.

I moved here 3 years ago to appreciate what this city has to offer and the Summer is the time to be here .. for many reasons. 1. There are lots of free things to do outside -- concerts, fairs, carnivals, parks. 2. Many people who live here go away weekends to their summer homes, leaving the city less crowded (except for the tourists.) 3. I have the privilege of living between the two greatest parks that I walk in -- 3 blocks from Central Park and 2 blocks from Riverside Park (my favorite) which goes along the Hudson River, with Jersey across the water ... and connecting all the way down to Battery Park at the tip of Manhattan. 4. All the wonderful cafes where we can sit outside and drink wine or eat a great meal ... and watch people. 5. $6.00 movies every Friday, Sat. or Sun morning before noon -- what a bargain.

While I was at my conference in San Francisco, I hardly left the hotel. While I was in Austin, I did enjoy outside cafes, but it was already boiling hot and to walk someplace interesting, I had to get in my car and drive a distance.

Why do I share this? Well, life is what you make it. I suggest you live where you want to live. As a boomer, perhaps you've created some of the freedom to be able to live the life you want OR perhaps you're ready to start planning it for the near future.
There is no reason to stay where you're now living UNLESS it is where you choose to live.

Much of life is lived as a default. We're born someplace, to a certain set of parents and a lifestyle. Many stay put. They live where they've always been, they work in the arena of what that place offers or in the "family" business. Many do not stretch beyond the familiar.

Many of you know that one of my favorite sayings is: "don't die with your dreams still inside you." So, if you're longing for something different, make sure you begin to create it as a possibility in the upcoming years. Life is meant to be lived full-out. Sometimes, we don't move forward because we think we need to stay for the sake of the kids or the grandkids .. well, you know what, that's just not so. Ask yourself this: Do I want my kids to settle for a mediocre life (like I did) or do I want them to live a rich, full, exciting life filled with fulfillment?

When I decided to leave Austin, TX to move to NYC, my son said, "you go for it, Mom." He encouraged me. He knew that airplanes, and computers and cell phones can keep us connected -- and they do. We have an even richer relationship because we are both where we want to be. And, I'm proud to be able to set the example for him ... I don't ever want him to just "settle."

So, what will you do today to plan your life as you'd like it to be?
Let me know if I can help.
As always, I'd love your comments.

Happy Sunday.
Ann

I'm Flabbergasted AND I'm Inspired

Cheers from Austin, TX, where I've been for the last 9 days ... part work, part vacation. Before that, I was in San Francisco for 4 days, but more about that in a moment.

So, I've just spent 9 days in the city that I lived in for 20 years and have been gone from for 3 years. I come here often, for clients, but most importantly, to visit my son and my friends. I love it here, well, except for the hot weather and humidity and traffic. It's beautiful and relaxing.

While here, I had several events to help launch my book and my new directions. I invited literally hundreds of people -- to a private party to celebrate, to a workshop on ReInventing and to an "official" book signing event at a local, independent bookstore. The workshop was a success -- 7 wonderful women came together to explore where they are in their lives and where they still hope to go. There were tears and there was laughter and there was a palpable sense of "wow"... so many possibilities and there was "oh, my God, how can I ever have that?" They bonded in under 5 hours and will continue to support each other. It was so gratifying to be part of that experience.
One woman signed up and then called that day to say her husband wanted her to stay home and help him work on the roof. So, she didn't come, even after signing up with a sense of urgency and desperation and a comment of "I have no passion in my life." Go figure.

The other events is what flabbergasted me. I have so many friends here and I really wanted to see them and share my excitement ... hardly anyone came to either event. I was hurt, disappointed and it triggered my issues of "nobody likes me" "everyone forgets me or rejects me" "what I'm doing isn't important." Amazing how quickly I can take it personally and feel small and insignificant.

Now, compare that with why I was in San Francisco: I attend the final weekend of a year-long course called Power & Contribution AND a Conference for Global Transformation. There were people there (like over 500) from all over the world. I've been in a class with 150 of them all year. Each of us has taken on a promise to change the world in some significant way and to devote our lives to that cause.

My Promise: By the year 2025, all people will be "reinventing" themselves for happiness and fulfillment and be inspired to make a difference in the world."


So, imagine .. I go to a global conference, I'm working to inspire people to take on FULFILLMENT in their lives and then I come to Austin and hardly anyone comes to see me and celebrate my launching of my book and my promise. That's the context. Now, here's the "what I see"/ the points of understanding:

1. People do what they do, and it has nothing to do with me -- so stop taking it personally. Sometimes people can't be with the excitement and celebration of others, especially if they are not excited and happy on their own.
2. As I move forward to have a global impact, I must realize that many (make that MOST) people will not be interested .. it's part of the challenge.
3. I need to get ahold of myself and stop being so sensitive and keep focused on what's really important to me. And, stop distracting myself with insignificant things and stop "settling" for less than what I deserve.
4. Never give up!!! When what you are about is important to you ... NEVER, ever, give up.

My message to you this day Boomers -- go after life with gusto, don't let what people think of you have any negative impact on you and keep taking one step after another.

Have a glorious week.
Ann

Wake up and Smell the Roses

Hello there,
I've just watched a you tube video that brought tears to my eyes. As I explain and then send you to the link you'll certainly understand.

My friend sent me this link and just said to watch it. And I did, and I was.
What we see is a 47 year old woman making her stage debut on England's version of American Idol. The panel looks at her with humor and cynacism and expects her to be some sort of crazy woman. Then, she begins to sing and we are mesmerized.

As I watched, I wept ... for all the boomers ... and for all of everyone ... who has a dream and suppresses it. This woman struts out onstage and says, "I'm going to make that audience watch." She belts it out and you see the look of shock across the faces of Simon and his panel.

Many of you who know me, know that in my heart.. all I want is for people to feel passion and go for fulfillment. We all have talent, knowledge and dreams that are bursting to come forth.

I watched the video tonight after speaking to a professional group this afternoon. The name of the group doesn't matter. What does matter is that I hit a homerun. I know that as I walked that stage, making them laugh, getting them to think...that I got through. Following my speech there was a reception. Many people approached me with kind words. They told me that I made them think .. about things they want. One young woman sat down with me and for about 20 minutes told me how much she wants to move to Italy. Another person told me of her reinvention from one place to another and how she found love. All of my conversations led me to remember what life is really about: it's about creating life as you want it .. going for the gold, finding passion.

I know I sound redundant. I just can't help it. I'm excited. I'm also frustrated because when I run my workshops, I have a hard time attracting enough people. When I try to sell my book about my own reinvention ... few people buy it. I don't know how to break through to the masses and wake them up. How do I tell people to stop settling for less? How do I encourage them to go after life with zest?

That's my dilemma. I thank Susan Boyle for going after her desire.

(Go here to see the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY )

I'm so grateful I've been able to go after my dream. Now, what about the rest of you? Can I challenge you to take a few steps towards something new? What will it take?

Please ... wake up, smell the roses and go for it.
Ann

I Just Saw A Movie that Tells me I'm on the Right Track

Hi Everyone,
I know this is a very long title... but it says it. Although I needed to be home working on the manuscript for my nearly finished book, Sixty, Sexy, Sassy and Free... I did, instead, go to the movies this afternoon. Given the timing, Revolutionary Road was about to start.

I knew it would be sad, heavy and uncomfortable to watch; afterall it's about the disintegration of a marriage. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are reunited from their Titanic movie of over 10 years ago. They are awesome. They've matured AND their chemistry is still amazing.

As I watched the unravelling of their relationship, I couldn't help but see myself and my own experience, not to mention that of many others.
But, the thing that struck me the most was the underlying "cause" or theme beneath the obvious. Here it is: Here's a man who settles to work at a job he doesn't like so he can make it -- e.g. support his family, pay the bills, be responsible. Here's a woman, frustrated by the boredom of the suburbs AND frustrated by her inability to excel in a career she was interested in. At some point in the movie, they climb out of their doldrums, develop a plan to alter life as they know it and REINVENT themselves. They get excited, take all the steps to start over. Their love returns, they're happy. Then, of course, they reneg on the deal and go back to feeling unfulfilled, unhappy with each other. It's awful.

They aren't even baby boomers, so why am I writing this? It's easy. I am so keenly aware of how many people are living lives of quiet desperation ... settling, giving in, daydreaming, but taking no action. In the husband's case, he had no clue of what he really wanted to do with his life. I can't tell you how many people I know that fit that bill. They don't even allow themselves to consider WHAT would make them happy, where they'd like to devote their time and energy. They're just too immersed in doing whatever it is they do. And, here's the worst part. They don't see that their own misery bleeds over into the misery of those around them.

So .. I'm on the right track. I'm writing, speaking and coaching on Re-Energizing, Re-Purposing, Re-Inventing .... in business and in life. My goal is for all people to be engaged in purposeful work and to feel a sense of fulfillment.

I invite you to continue on this journey with me.
My book is nearly done ... stay tuned for announcements.
If you're in the NY area, attend my workshops. If you're not in NY, let's talk -- gather a group of folks, pay my expenses and we'll split the fees. I'll come and do my workshops where you live.

Together, let's help people feel that sense of achievement ... let's make our hearts sing and feel passion.
No time like the present.
Thanks,
ann

I'm Flying on September 11th ... It Feels Weird

Good morning everyone,
I hope you feel renewed and refreshed after the weekend AND the short week.
It's Monday morning and we're back in the trenches of our work... and hopefully our passion. I am.

As I got organized for my week, I realized that I'll be flying cross-country on Thursday, September 11th. I don't think I've flown on that date in the past 7 years. It made me wince... for a moment and then it generated some memories of that fateful day.

Although I live in NYC now, I was living in Austin,TX on that day. However, the impact was one of the strongest experiences of my lifetime. First, my sister has lived in NY for 30 years. Frankly, she's the first person I called. Fortunately, she was NOT there that day, but was in WI, visiting a friend. Then, being alone in my house in the far suburbs (actually out in the country) outside of Austin, I called my husband and then my son -- they were both in Austin. My husband was at work; my son (the musician) was sleeping. They were both okay... thank God. Now, you might wonder why I would be worried about their well-being. Well, as I watched the horror on Good Morning America, the local news jumped in to alert Austin that it was a "target" because it's the capital of TX and home to President Bush. They were evacuating government offices and then telling everyone else to stay off the roads and not drive home.

My husband had put his car in the shop the night before and had my car that day. I was scheduled to work at home. So, there I was, alone, far away from anyone I loved, wondering if the world would come to an end that day. I was pacing, frantic, on the phone to anyone that served as a lifeline ... glued to TV for each new piece of news.

NOTE: I think we ALL suffer from Post Traumatic Shock from seeing the videos of those planes hitting the towers, the towers going down, people jumping out, etc. They are etched. In fact, within weeks of moving to NY, I was sitting in my apartment when I heard a loud plane fly by. This was unusual, because planes don't fly low over NYC since that event. I panicked momentarily (that's how Post traumatic stress works .... you're easily triggered.) It was an airforce jet ... it was fleet week in NYC, but I didn't know.)

Anyhow, that week of September 11th is blur. As a clinical social work therapist, all I wanted to do was fly to NY and be of service and help with the families. There were no flights AND after that I had too many work commitments get in the way. I always felt guilty for not helping.

But, here's the purpose of this column today. It was September 11th that was the catalyst for my entire Re-Invention of my life. My lesson that day became my motto:
"Life is way too short ... to be unhappy." It was within weeks of that day that I finally told my husband that I wanted to separate. We'd been unhappy for many years and had just fallen into complacency. it was time for us to go separate ways and search for what might be more fulfilling.

That was the beginning of my life now ... which is dedicated to YOU ... to helping each of you figure out what you yearn for, how to get it and to reach fulfillment.
Please don't misunderstand -- I'm not telling anyone to get divorced. That's what I needed. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be living in NY. I wouldn't have this company. I wouldn't be writing a book that will inspire others to Re-Invent, etc.

What decisions do you have to make ... that will add joy, happiness, contentment and fulfillment to your life for the rest of your life? What are you waiting for?

We don't have tremendous losses of lives from things like 9/11 and the War ... only for you to be complacent. It's time to WAKE UP ... be of service to others, contribute to the world being a better place, tap into your talents and LIVE life to the fullest.

Point: Make this the year, the month, maybe even the day that you make some decisions to improve the quality of your life! I urge you. You and all your loved ones will be happier for it.

And, I'm here if you need me. Have a wonderful week.

I'm off to San Francisco on Sept. 11th to begin an amazing course called Power & Contribution. It's a one-year course, where I will be gathering with 130 people from all over the world. We will meet every other month for a long weekend in S.F. Each of us will take on an "impossible promise" for the world -- in other words, each will take on a huge project to truly make a difference. Not sure what my promise will be yet, although I know it will have something to do with people being passionate and fulfilled and aging with dignity. (I'm sure I'll be writing about it all as it goes on this year.)

Til next time,
Ann

Random Thoughts

You know, when I hear about people being bored, I just don't get it.
When I hear about people just wanting to sit around and watch TV, I just don't get it.
I am busier than I have ever been in my life and I love every minute of it.

Now, some of you might be thinking: "Well, I don't have money to do things or I don't have time or there's nothing happening where I live." Phooey. Filling your life with things that fulfill you doesn't have to cost money, take a lot of time AND you can always find those things.... if not in your town, then nearby.

Begin to ask yourself the question: What do I really love to do? What makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

For me, unless I'm traveling to speak someplace, I spend most of my days indoors, in my apartment ... working. I have coaching calls with clients, I am writing proposals, contracts, and completing my next book. So, yes, I work all day too. But, by night time, I'm raring to get up and out and to do things.
Take this week. Monday night I went to a class -- part of a 10-week seminar I'm taking called Creating Happiness. I look forward to every Monday night. Tuesday night, I went to see Damn Yankees (the play) with my friend Susan. Wednesday night, I went to a little club in the Village to hear poetry (it cost only $7.00) and was awesome. Tonight, for $15.00 I'm going to hear Jazz and Folk music at a local museum. My nights are full.

Of course, tomorrow night I'll probably crash and I'll be getting ready to fly out Saturday morning ... but who knows, I might still find something to do.
Yes, I live in NYC .. where there is always something happening.

I do other things. I do volunteer work with teenagers, I mentor some folks on their business (gratis.... through my professional association)

The point is this: Being active and engaging in activities that fulfill you energize you, keep you young and happy. It's a no-brainer. And speaking of brain .. it'll keep yours working!

Just some thoughts on boomers aging for fulfillment and fun ... on this Thursday afternoon.
Have a great weekend.
Ann

How Can I Be So Enlightened AND So Stupid at the Same Time?

Do you ever feel like you've done a lot of work on yourself -- that you're evolving, that you're spiritual, that you're on that road to enlightenment AND yet..... you make really stupid choices, behave in very non-enlightened ways, and feel you utterly suck at this whole growth thing?
Well, I do.

Over the last dozen or so years, I've made strides. I have good integrity, I take responsibility for my actions, I practice non-attachment (well some), I use the processes of intentionality and attraction. I'm a good person. It's been an arduous climb and one I'm very much still on. I've never felt that I mastered these ideals, but I feel I'm definitely on the journey. I also feel I have age and wisdom and experience on my side.

But then, life happens and I still react in old ways and cause lots of messiness in my relationships. I get dramatic, I judge (particularly myself), I whine, I get pessimistic and I doubt and question everything. What's a girl to do?

I suppose the clue here is: be gentle with myself ... know that as a human being I won't have it all together all the time. And, then, too, of course .... make better choices OR catch my poor choices earlier, as in more quickly. That would be a good one.

Point: Don't expect yourself to be perfect all the time. Do your best, love yourself, utilize your experiences to help you grow and know that everything, absolutely everything, is an opportunity to grow and learn and evolve.

From a practical standpoint ... this speaks to a sense of purpose and fulfillment. To best know yourself you need to be open to evolving and growing. Then, you'll be in a position to find what fulfills you, what gives you juice and how you want to spend the rest of your wild and crazy life. Happy searching boomers.