The Day after Labor Day
It's another beautiful morning in NYC ... bright sunshine, moderate temperature. WE've had an incredible Summer. Hard to believe that within about a month it will begin to get colder and Fall will be in the air.
For now, however, I'll enjoy what's here.
There was a great deal that happened over the weekend. There was Gustav .. a raging hurricane that had the audacity to ravage the Gulf Coast, especially The Big Easy area yet again. Fortunately, lessons from the previous mistakes made it much safer this time. Now, they will be back to repairing yet again. My heart goes out to the community and the friends I have there.
In politics, we got new-found information on Sarah Palin and her young daughter. In previous times, people would have been more outraged about a 17 year old getting pregnant. In fact, she would be sent away and it would be a big secret. Now, we're so much more open and understanding ... although it puts her Mother in jeopardy.
We also saw Obama indicate that judging Sarah's daughter is off-limits -- a sign of respect. So, let's move on and see how politics play out.
It was a "holiday" weekend with an extra day off (for a few) ... funny how retail makes it a big SALE day and many people work on this non-work day.
I had a wonderful weekend. If you remember, on SAturday, I worked all day, but then I played the rest of the weekend. I went to two movies in one day with a friend and then yesterday took a friend out for lunch for her birthday and went shopping for new clothes -- took advantage of those great retailers who worked when I didn't.
It was also a struggle day for me. My webmaster is changing my server and I couldn't access email ... basically still can't. I get so frustrated. I sometimes wonder if my "age" ... growing up without computers limits me in my capacity to understand and deal with them. Anyhow, maybe even by the time I finish writing this .. it will all be working again and I can get back to "normal" ... not that I'm ever normal.
So in the midst of so much happening, I got upset about a tiny conversation with a man. Thought I'd share it .. it's so a part of the dating scene and the struggle to feel good about myself as a woman.
I had two dates with a man who was a lot older -- well, he's 72 -- so that's 10 years older. He was nice and polite and even made me laugh a bit. Both dates were short -- one for dessert (maybe 1 1/2 hours) and one to visit the museum and then have a drink (maybe 2 hours). Yesterday he called to see if I feel any "chemistry." I explained that I need a bit of time to figure that out. Yes, sometimes I feel chemistry immediately and get that tingling feeling. But other times, it develops, as I get to know someone. I told him I didn't know yet, but wondered why he was asking. He said he wanted to know if I'm suppressing it or resisting it. I said, all you've done is "hug" me -- there's been no contact to know. He said he doesn't feel it and let's just move on. I couldn't believe it. This "old" man is not attracted to me. Excuuuussse me?
I took it so personal .. well, not to his face.... I wondered, as I always do, if there's something wrong with me, am I really that unattractive, is it still the extra 10 pounds (remember I've lost a few). What's the deal and why should I care.
I mean, people have lost their homes, their city, people are 17 and pregnant, the country is going to hell in a handbasket and I'm worried about a 72 year old man, that I could care less about, saying he doesn't feel any chemistry AND I take it personally. I definitely have to "get a grip."
I share this because I know other singles feel this way. Attracting a person for romance and relationship is such a big deal for many of us and we just don't get it.
Intellectually I know that people have chemistry with each other or they don't. I know about pheromones. Truthfully, I'm not attracted to too many men - in fact, most that I meet -- it doesn't mean they aren't nice men .. they're just not my type. So, then why do I take it personally?
What does it take to have such high self-esteem that things like that won't bother me? Should I just STOP dating all together and enrich my life so much that it doesn't matter? Will a man I like ever find me attractive in a lasting way?
Truth: I look pretty damn good. I guess I have to keep saying that over and over until I convince myself.
Oh, but let me not forget -- I do have a 40 year old lover. He finds me very attractive. I love it. BUT, I constantly expect that he will meet a cute young thing and toss me aside... especially when I don't see him for weeks. This is one of those times. He's been gone for a month and won't be back til next week and we have little contact. So, I wonder. He's probably just using me ... but then again, I'm using him as well. It's okay.
As for other men -- I have no clue. If the lover goes away, I might just purposely become celibate. I'll keep you tuned in.
Meanwhile, I'll get back to the matter of finishing my book, which I course I think will be a bestseller and of building my business and of enjoying the magic of NY, with or without a male companion.
You have a great week!
Thanks for letting me rant!
Ann
For now, however, I'll enjoy what's here.
There was a great deal that happened over the weekend. There was Gustav .. a raging hurricane that had the audacity to ravage the Gulf Coast, especially The Big Easy area yet again. Fortunately, lessons from the previous mistakes made it much safer this time. Now, they will be back to repairing yet again. My heart goes out to the community and the friends I have there.
In politics, we got new-found information on Sarah Palin and her young daughter. In previous times, people would have been more outraged about a 17 year old getting pregnant. In fact, she would be sent away and it would be a big secret. Now, we're so much more open and understanding ... although it puts her Mother in jeopardy.
We also saw Obama indicate that judging Sarah's daughter is off-limits -- a sign of respect. So, let's move on and see how politics play out.
It was a "holiday" weekend with an extra day off (for a few) ... funny how retail makes it a big SALE day and many people work on this non-work day.
I had a wonderful weekend. If you remember, on SAturday, I worked all day, but then I played the rest of the weekend. I went to two movies in one day with a friend and then yesterday took a friend out for lunch for her birthday and went shopping for new clothes -- took advantage of those great retailers who worked when I didn't.
It was also a struggle day for me. My webmaster is changing my server and I couldn't access email ... basically still can't. I get so frustrated. I sometimes wonder if my "age" ... growing up without computers limits me in my capacity to understand and deal with them. Anyhow, maybe even by the time I finish writing this .. it will all be working again and I can get back to "normal" ... not that I'm ever normal.
So in the midst of so much happening, I got upset about a tiny conversation with a man. Thought I'd share it .. it's so a part of the dating scene and the struggle to feel good about myself as a woman.
I had two dates with a man who was a lot older -- well, he's 72 -- so that's 10 years older. He was nice and polite and even made me laugh a bit. Both dates were short -- one for dessert (maybe 1 1/2 hours) and one to visit the museum and then have a drink (maybe 2 hours). Yesterday he called to see if I feel any "chemistry." I explained that I need a bit of time to figure that out. Yes, sometimes I feel chemistry immediately and get that tingling feeling. But other times, it develops, as I get to know someone. I told him I didn't know yet, but wondered why he was asking. He said he wanted to know if I'm suppressing it or resisting it. I said, all you've done is "hug" me -- there's been no contact to know. He said he doesn't feel it and let's just move on. I couldn't believe it. This "old" man is not attracted to me. Excuuuussse me?
I took it so personal .. well, not to his face.... I wondered, as I always do, if there's something wrong with me, am I really that unattractive, is it still the extra 10 pounds (remember I've lost a few). What's the deal and why should I care.
I mean, people have lost their homes, their city, people are 17 and pregnant, the country is going to hell in a handbasket and I'm worried about a 72 year old man, that I could care less about, saying he doesn't feel any chemistry AND I take it personally. I definitely have to "get a grip."
I share this because I know other singles feel this way. Attracting a person for romance and relationship is such a big deal for many of us and we just don't get it.
Intellectually I know that people have chemistry with each other or they don't. I know about pheromones. Truthfully, I'm not attracted to too many men - in fact, most that I meet -- it doesn't mean they aren't nice men .. they're just not my type. So, then why do I take it personally?
What does it take to have such high self-esteem that things like that won't bother me? Should I just STOP dating all together and enrich my life so much that it doesn't matter? Will a man I like ever find me attractive in a lasting way?
Truth: I look pretty damn good. I guess I have to keep saying that over and over until I convince myself.
Oh, but let me not forget -- I do have a 40 year old lover. He finds me very attractive. I love it. BUT, I constantly expect that he will meet a cute young thing and toss me aside... especially when I don't see him for weeks. This is one of those times. He's been gone for a month and won't be back til next week and we have little contact. So, I wonder. He's probably just using me ... but then again, I'm using him as well. It's okay.
As for other men -- I have no clue. If the lover goes away, I might just purposely become celibate. I'll keep you tuned in.
Meanwhile, I'll get back to the matter of finishing my book, which I course I think will be a bestseller and of building my business and of enjoying the magic of NY, with or without a male companion.
You have a great week!
Thanks for letting me rant!
Ann
posted by Ann Fry, Head Boomer at
10:29 AM
1 Comments
